Is this accepted now? Young children and electronics on public transport.

[AnneGrommit]

The last few times I've been on a train (not in quiet coach) and quite often on the bus I've had my peace disturbed by toddlers with phones/tablets either playing noisy games on them or watching programmes. When I've asked parents to rein them in I've been invariably met with either passive aggressive remarks about not liking children (I have three myself) or outright hostility and a statement along the lines of "it keeps them quiet". No, it doesn't. It stops them from pestering you but it's far from quiet. AIBU or is this an accepted "thing" now? Because it's fucking annoying.

Lol we do all those things too. My kids play on their tablets AT HOME. That way it's win win. We tick all the boxes in public but at home we can ignore each other!

It does.

It does thetinyone.

I think of myself as quite misanthropic - I get annoyed by slow walkers who don't keep to a straight line so you can't overtake, I think people who get to the checkout and don't know where their wallet is need to go on a shoppers training course, and I find cards that are specific to a person and occasion ridiculous 'to my stepbrother at Easter'. But I come in this thread and I feel wonderfully tolerant. Like Scrooge when he works out he's not missed Christmas. 'Boy, take this shilling and buy the biggest turkey in the city!'

It's rude if you don't have headphones then the sound should be off. It wouldn't be ok for an adult to do it so it's not ok for a child. As others have said it doesn't keep them quiet it just swaps one noise for another. I'd rather listen to children chit chat with their parents then listen to devices.

Obviously I don't write off everyone using a tablet, being myself a reasonably careful owner of two now teenaged boys who have travelled on planes, trains and automobiles more than many of their age, and have cried, and been read to, and dropped small toys, and wriggled, and walked up and down aisles. And, believe it or not, I don't spend my entire journey fuming.

But earlier on this thread many posters were suggesting that it was always entirely fine to have the volume on on devices in public and that everyone else should just put up with it. As a default, it's antisocial.

You sound more sensible than a lot of people on this thread, ontop.

I could give people the benefit of the doubt and say that as MN as a demographic are probably more tolerant of usual child noise so would be less phased than the rest of the population by a tantrumming toddler being calmed down.

I think people should be considerate of others, and do wonder why people play music from their phones when it would sound better through headphones, as they'd benefit too. But I do think you can't win with a small child, as some people are rude to you just for having one in public, and others hate you for trying to keep them as quiet as possible. Some people say child noise is fine, and not a tablet on its lowest setting, but I guarantee others will say the opposite. Generally I see more criticism for parents and their children than other groups, way before I had a baby I noticed this.

I do think you can't win with a small child, as some people are rude to you just for having one in public, and others hate you for trying to keep them as quiet as possible. Some people say child noise is fine, and not a tablet on its lowest setting, but I guarantee others will say the opposite. Generally I see more criticism for parents and their children than other groups, way before I had a baby I noticed this. How true. I do feel sorry for mums now, I swear people were more tolerant when mine were little.

We went to a restaurant on Sunday night, we live in a coastal resort so in the holiday season lots of kids everywhere. Lovely little tot about 3 kept coming over and grinning at my grandson, we all smiled and said hello even an embarrassed 13 year old. Lots of tutting and head skaging from neighbouring tables. She wasn't making a noise, she wasn't running around just a sweet little girl who was quite taken with DGS.

A tablet on a train is better than a screaming, tantrumning child.

shaking not skaging, although skaging sounds quite interesting.

I did think skaging was just a word I didn't know!

The vast majorly of responses support the view that it is rude and thoughtless to play electronics in public without headphones/sound off.

Obviously it's a free country, do what you want.

Just know that the vast majority of people on this board, and likely the vast majority of around you in real life think you're an entitled arsehole, who is raising the next generation of entitled arseholes.

A tablet on a train is better than a screaming, tantrumning child

Even better is neither of those. Or just headphones like 300 people have suggested?

That's the thing. For me and plenty of others in this thread, a screen with volume on simply isn't an option, so it's not a toss-up between those two scenarios. When DD was little and I didn't even have a smartphone, I didn't spend my many hours on public transport with her terrified she was going to have a tantrum. I just had a bag of things to occupy her. Yes, she sometimes moaned a bit, but I think as long as your fellow passengers can see you're on it, they tend to be sympathetic. No-one who's being irritated to shit by a phone with the volume on thinks anything other than 'wow, you're inconsiderate, aren't you?'. They don't think 'oh, thank goodness for that, that child would be having a screaming tantrum if that incredibly annoying phone wasn't on'.

Great post River.

RiverTam some people are worried about how their child is going to be every time they take their child anywhere. I don't take mine on public transport anymore because of this. They will be some of those using electronic devices with some sound on. I use vtech type toddler toys (with an 11 year old) in busy places that I have to take him because it really is better than the alternative.

Spikey if you are meaning children with additional needs, the usual exception applies to my statement, sorry, I should have made that clear. I am not convinced, however, that everyone who does this has a child with additional needs - my own experience tells me this, it's just people being thoughtless and, yes, lazy. I am not out to make your life harder, I simply challenge those who are just inconsiderate.

I agree that a lot won't have additional needs and even then needing it on 'loud' is not necessary in all but exceptional cases.
I dislike the comments from other posters that everyone with sound on is being an arsehole. Some people are merely trying to get through a stressful time without all hell breaking loose. I don't think some people can understand the dread that others feel about having to take our children (and adults) somewhere busy.

The dread being most of all, hostility from other people.

I would prefer neither of those things. Why do people thing every situation has to be one or the other, why aren't people interested in a third way? This is what I find so bloody exasperating.

The dread being most of all, hostility from other people

I am so sorry people are so awful. If it helps not all of us are hostile. I spent a fab journey from liverpool to leeds with an autistic boy stroking my cardigan

He took a like to the fringe, the train was packed due to cancellations. The poor lad was distressed and some people were so fucking vile