Is this accepted now? Young children and electronics on public transport.

[AnneGrommit]

The last few times I've been on a train (not in quiet coach) and quite often on the bus I've had my peace disturbed by toddlers with phones/tablets either playing noisy games on them or watching programmes. When I've asked parents to rein them in I've been invariably met with either passive aggressive remarks about not liking children (I have three myself) or outright hostility and a statement along the lines of "it keeps them quiet". No, it doesn't. It stops them from pestering you but it's far from quiet. AIBU or is this an accepted "thing" now? Because it's fucking annoying.

I carry colouring pencils, books and small toys to occupy my DC on public transport, but sometimes when they are tired and grumpy they prefer to to watch something very, very quietly on a iphone. (Much quieter than conversation level) and I think that's better than them having a screaming tantrum. No one has ever said anything about this to me or given me a 'look' about it irl.

It's like eating or talking on your 'phone: there are degrees of acceptability. Smelly food or really long, loud 'phone conversations = anti-social. Eating a biscuit or discreetly telling your DH your train gets in at 6.20 = normal.

Obvs DC watching iPads at a high volume is thoughtless and obnoxious but I think telling Shifty that her two year old watching Peppa very quietly is making other people suffer is an overreaction.

I hate the noise, it's like nails on a blackboard

That's your problem though isn't it? I hate many noises. Shrill laughter, repetitive sniffing, tapping fingers on tables. But I'm an adult so I ignore them and tune them out.

You can ask people to put it on mute, but if the volume is already very low, don't be surprised if they refuse. You can't control electronic noise so it's best to deal with your response to it.

I agree with the above (gunpowder ). It has never occurred to me to get annoyed tbh. Yes, if it's really loud. People just need to have some common sense.

It's no worse than just about being able to hear music through headphones and certainly preferable to hearing someone yell down the phone that they are on a train.

As someone said, public transport is never quiet anyway

I wonder if I should tell all the people who make any noise that my son finds annoying to stop doing it? Or would I look like a dick?

But surely if you can carry pencils etc around, you can carry headphones around? And quiet is subjective, whereas mute or headphones only isn't. You are teaching your child that volume on in public is fine.

Even quietly, there is something about the pitch and tone of this kind of electronic noise that is nerve-shredding. A train would have to be really noisy for me not to notice it. And even on the tube, outside of the rush hour it's rarely that noisy.

People talking and laughing, - normal human interaction is fine. Any kind of music, games, tv programme, Internet noise is not. It's just bad manners.

Maybe the fact that the UK isn't as child-centred as parts of Europe is because of annoying, entitled parents who think that their child should be the centre of everyone's universe.

Whoever said children are not mini-adult is correct - but the context is wrong. Children do not have all the rights that adults have because they are minors and are still learning and developing. It is unfair on the child and other adults for these type of parents to expect their child to disrupt others. God help their teachers.

People talking and laughing isn't ok for some though is it but they are expected to put up and shut up.

This thread is not about people talking and laughing though is it. If I am out in public, be it on public transport or a cafe etc, I do not want to listen to other people's personal music/tv/YouTube choices. Normal life with its chatter, crying babies, laughter, shouting - the general cacophony of life - bring it on. Just not peppa pig and little mix.

It's a also about the numbers of people affected, I think. As I say, I haven't let my toddler play with my phone on public transport, including long train journeys, but I will take the tablet on the plane just in case. Watching some CBeebies or playing a game on low might affect a couple of people around us, but if she gets upset because she can't get up and move around then her crying will be heard by a lot more people. She's too young to understand the reasons behind why she has to sit down so distraction is much better, and safer than a tantrum.

Yes, of course. But you haven't explained why headphones aren't part of this solution.

No-one is saying that parents shouldn't use screens to help their DC in certain situations. It's not the screen that's the issue, it's the sound.

Me, River? If so, simply that she's not 2 yet, so keeping headphones on might work for a bit, but equally might not - same as a sun hat. I'll have them, but if she won't wear them it's just down to judgement as to sound of tablet or sound of crying being worse for others, and also how upset she is.

I'd use the tablet as a 'last resort' though - it's pretty guaranteed to work as a distraction, so I wouldn't be getting it out at the start of the journey so she has time to get bored of it.

When she can understand headphones beyond 'get this off my head' then she'll do that.

I suppose for me I start the other way around - until the headphones stay on, no screen on the move. No headphones, no screen.

We have headphones if we have to use electronics on public transport theres nothing worse than noise from electric devices and equally people who let their children shout and be annoying lol, I'm queen shush xx

If she asks to play with my phone on the train I just say 'no, no everyone wants to hear the phone, let's do x' and it's no problem, because if she's really upset/tired/grumpy we can just get up and walk to the shop and back.

On a plane if she wants to get up and can't, she won't get it, so I reckon an iPad on low is better than a tantrum for her, and everyone around us. I've previously taken it to appointments where I've had to have blood taken, which can take ages with me, and I really just want to be able to sit down without a toddler on my knee, or crying, while I'm getting jabbed probably multiple times. I'm repeating myself now, but on those occasions I didn't use it, as the biscuit I gave her first worked a treat, although I've been judged by some anti- sugar types I know for that!

Mmm. I'm still not convinced. Maybe it's because we never had smart phones when DD was that young. I still would never ever have the volume on in public, low or otherwise. And there are so many bloody teenagers round here who use their phones with the volume on full blast, and they're so arsey and entitled about it, it's as though it's never been suggested that it's not a good idea.

Like I say, she's never used the tablet out of the house. But I would consider it. I think the idea that an iPad on basically the same volume as the noise bleed from the rubbish earphones the airline give you being worse than a toddler tantrum is probably not widely held. I regularly hear people complaining about baby noise, even if it's not crying. People comment as soon as they see a baby, even if it's asleep. And crying is louder than a tablet on very low, so will be heard by more people, so chance of being subjected to tuts, comments etc is higher.

As I mentioned before, round here people think nothing of wheeling a giant speaker through the street playing music, or shouting about Jesus through a microphone, so it's not just confined to teenagers. If I was by myself I'd listen to my iPod all the time, as I'd rather not hear other people's noise, or that of the engine.

I just think that while there are obviously dickheads who don't care who they annoy, saying that no electronic noise is acceptable under any circumstances, and is only the result of rude entitlement is just ridiculous.

But you haven't explained why headphones aren't part of this solution

My 2 year old won't keep headphones on. She pulls them off, chews them and throws them on the floor. Until she's old enough to understand their purpose, we'll keep the tablet on the lowest audible volume. Quiet electronic noise has become part of everyday life, like it or not.

we'll keep the tablet on the lowest audible volume. Quiet electronic noise has become part of everyday life, like it or not

If its audible to the child its audible to the people around them too.
It's not a part of my everyday life except when selfish idiots force it on me, and why should we all put up with it because a few people think its ok?

YANBU drives me insane. Agree with PP the only way to deal with it if they won't turn it down is to turn the tables and play something they don't like on your phone (in my case a bit of heavy metal but I LOVE the South Park idea).

winter even at 2 she can quickly learn that if the earphones come off, the tablet goes off....you just tell her she can only use the tablet/phone if she wears the earphones - otherwise you will have to turn it off ...
It is a good habit to get her into - when do you intend to introduce them to her - why do you think it will be easier when she is older? If anything it will be harder as it will be a new thing - something she didn't need to do before.

In fact you don't even need to switch it off as she won't be able to hear it if they are still plugged in. So she watches whatever in silence or wears earphones...either way it is nicer for the people around her.

I accept that electronics are part of everyday life - that's why headphones are so great! and the mute button!

A basic part of good manners is that you minimise the impact whatever you are doing, has on others round about you in a public place.

A basic part of good manners is that you minimise the impact whatever you are doing, has on others round about you in a public place

Absolutely: but I'd take a few episodes of Peppa Pig over a kid kicking off any day.