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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Seriously scared! Would you have answered.

171 replies

Dancingfairy · 07/08/2017 00:28

I live alone with my children. I am a single mother. My baby is quite difficult ATM and seems to be cluster feeding so I'm always awake quite late. She finally drifted off about an hour ago so I have been cleaning non stop since. Anyway I've been up and down the stairs putting rubbish out etc. anyway I came back upstairs and my door knocked, this was literally 10 mins ago. Obviously I got quite scared due to how late it is. They knocked about 3 times then left. Didn't knock any other doors. I can't be 100% sure but I thought I heard what sounded like a police radio. Would you have answered?! Wibu? I wanna point out now that a few months ago this same thing happened when I was heavily pregnant. I woke up in the middle of the night went toilet came back and lied in bed and my door knocked, it was roughly the same time. I know no one that would knock, or who would just show up.

OP posts:
Devilishpyjamas · 07/08/2017 04:29

Oh my word - can you get a panic alarm or anything? Or can the police do a security advice check for you?

Original poster
Dancingfairy · 07/08/2017 04:31

My sister suggested moving so it's something to think about. She said I can go to hers she lives 15 mins from me (but is away at the moment other she would have come over) but it have her key. Trouble is I also think he may have a key for my place so gotta sort the locks.

OP posts:
MelvinThePenguin · 07/08/2017 04:31

Oh OP, I'd read the thread and was waiting for an update. Baby went back to sleep ages ago, but I wanted to know you were okay.

That's very unsettling news. Do you have friends/family who can support you IRL? Maybe even stay with you for a bit or until he is found?

Escargot82 · 07/08/2017 04:32

Failing that, get your home security sorted in the next 24 hours. Make it a priority.

Peep hole.
Locks on all windows (good ones).
Curtains on all windows.
Change your front door lock if he ever at any point in the past had access.
Get some cheap wooden door wedge thingos - keep one near the door. No matter how hard someone tries if one of those is in place you can't open the door.
Your kid's nurserys/schools should be discretely made aware that noone is to collect your children but you also.
Do you have a car? Is it parked on the street? Sorry for the list but....I have been through something similar. My car was tampered with on the street among other things.

MelvinThePenguin · 07/08/2017 04:33

Cross post.

Staying at your sisters sounds sensible.

thequeenoftarts · 07/08/2017 04:34

Jesus hell that is scary. Well, now you know to double lock your doors, put chains on high up to prevent wee ones opening the door to Daddy without you knowing, locks on all accessible doors and windows, a spy hole in your doors, a panic alarm connected to the police station also. And if he turns up call the police asap, don't engage or let him in to your house...Even if you rent, speak to your landlord and inform them of the problem and let them confirm with the police so you can enhance your security..

anchor9 · 07/08/2017 04:35

honestly if i was you i would want the be out o me that house like yesterday. did they not give you a panic alarm? i was offered one for a far far lesser risk!

anchor9 · 07/08/2017 04:41

but also what the absolutel fuck are then doing knocking on your door at midnight that alone would have me beside myself Confused no chance i would answer

ReginaGeorgeinSheepsClothing · 07/08/2017 04:42

Oh this is definitely frightening to read. Agree with contacting nursery/school re. permiitted collectors.

flumpybear · 07/08/2017 04:47

Wow that's a bit scary! I'd definitely consider moving even if temporarily whilst he's at large

Patienceisvirtuous · 07/08/2017 04:48

Stay safe OP. Second getting your security tightened in next 24 hours.

X

sofato5miles · 07/08/2017 04:55

That is bad news. How long have they been looking for him?

Do what you can to increase security. Does he know your sister's house?

Counterpane · 07/08/2017 04:56

Awww hugs, OP. It was me who suggested it might be Ex-related. Years ago, a neighbour of mine had a similar problem. Her DP broke out of a secure unit (he also had a list and had attacked someone on it). He went on the run and the police took the entire family, including GPs, to a safe house.

Do you rent? The local council may be able to re-house you urgently, especially if the police will share their information. It is worth asking as you are not safe.

TheMaddHugger · 07/08/2017 04:57

Dancingfairy ((((((((Hugs)))))))

You said you have a key for your Sis's Place. I'd go now.

Be safe

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/08/2017 05:08

I agree with going to your sisters. Stay safe. X

user1457213512 · 07/08/2017 05:16

Oh god op this is awful, poor you. Hope you can stay with your sister. Take care.

pigeondujour · 07/08/2017 06:20

Fucking hell OP. Really hope you're alright. What a thing to have to contend with. Glad your sister has suggested going there. Flowers

astoundedgoat · 07/08/2017 06:57

Are you definitely going to have your locks changed today? Are you renting or do you own? You need to get that sorted as a priority.

How old is the child who said "Daddy's here!" and was it part of a game (like two toys talking to each other) or was he watching tv or something and suddenly announced "Daddy's here"? Because given the information you have now, it seems likely that he WAS there, either looking in the window or in the house itself.

You should get the locks sorted TODAY and go to your sister's for the time being, and let the police know. Also tell them that it's likely that he was at your house the other day, if you haven't done so already.

user1498911589 · 07/08/2017 07:08

like others said, get the locks changed, go to your sister's (does your ex know the address?) and get some cctv at the front.

Hemlock2013 · 07/08/2017 07:09

I would de camp to your sisters and let the police know where you are going. Hopefully they find him soon and you won't be away long, but he could be anywhere.... definitely go to your sisters! X

AwaywiththePixies27 · 07/08/2017 07:11

No I wouldn't have answered either.

If it was the police they generally let you know it's them calling at that time of night!

StealthPolarBear · 07/08/2017 07:14

Why did they feel the need to tell you at midnight instead of during the day

Anatidae · 07/08/2017 07:16

Is there any possibility he may have actually entered the house? When your child said daddy's here could he have seen him?

Locks changed today. Security measures and ring the police back to ask for their advice and to let them know he has possibly been round already. If you can go to you sister's place, then do.

Anatidae · 07/08/2017 07:16

Also seems very odd that the police would knock on your door at that time without announcing themselves.

burntoutmum · 07/08/2017 07:17

Bloody hell OP Flowers. Like others I'd get to your sisters, even if temporarily whilst you get your home security sorted.

Stealth- I imagine the police have to do it as soon as they get the information otherwise they'd be negligent if something had happened in the night?

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