... to think it slightly odd that so many of my school mum friends are hung up about secondary schools already, when their kids are only 5!

[sandyballs]

It seems to be the sole topic of conversation lately - how good/bad the local comp is, how extra tuition will be needed for the local grammar etc etc.

The kids are 5/6 years old! Let them be kids!

I'm sure our parents never had all this school angst!

If thinking about your child's education in advance is a crime, then I'm guilty through and through. My daughter is 2.4 and last week my partner and I went to a presentation at the school where I would ideally like her to go to lycée (15-18). Just so that I can do the thinking backwards thing to ensure she gets a place...

I think with some middle class 'liberal type' parents it can be as much of a badge of honour to ' I don't think about my childs education/do their homework etc as education is not everythin', as it is for some to devote themselves to their childs education.

We have friends like this, they regard it as very uncool to be hung up about education.

We like to think we're some where in the middle. Obviously.

I would agree that in most state comprehensives, those who work hard are generally laughed at and called swots. I know. I was one of them. However, I always stayed focussed, knowing that in the end I would end up better off (I don't mean financially) than them. I look at them now, when I go to my parents, and smirk because I had the last laugh...If that means I think I'm better than them, then I guess in a way I do. I wouldn't, though, if they hadn't been both nasty and stupid enough not to see that they were weak, not me.

Xenia, as I said, I fundamentally agree with your reasoning, hence mine are at private school. I just wonder why you choose to come across the way you do.

I don't know. I don't sit here thinking let's present XYZ image. I just write things. People pick up on certain bits and not others. It does no harm. I turned down a man on the phone with a strong Liverpudlian accent. I just couldn't stand it, I'm afraid. My loss obviously.

May be c has the answer as to why I don't get upset on here because I'm quite happy with what I've ended up with anyway.

Turned him down for a date or a job?

Anyway, I do admire you for managing, on your own, to raise your children exactly the way you intended. It can't have been easy.

You just have the knack for winding people up...

Date, the Liverpudlian, I couldn't get over the accent. He probably hated mine as much too. Horses for courses. Can work both ways. people tend to gravitate to those like them - Indian and jewish matchmakers have helped with this over thousands of years. Relationships between people who are fairly similar tend to work out better in the long term.

I used to think that, about similarity. And I am no longer sure at all. It can be a terrible trap, because after a few years you can realise that what you have in common is your upbringing. I think it's far more interesting to be going somewhere together than being the people our parents/social circle programmed us to be.

My partner and I are only similar in that we are both intelligent, hard working and ambitious. Upbringing was wildly different.

Psycho, I was wondering something similar myself this morning: I'd like to think that I'm not much of a b1tch in RL, but I do seem to be braver on here. I guess I'm just a coward, and I don't much like myself for it.

Xenia, 'tis true that you are often a little blunt, but I do agree with much of what you say. I have little experience, but from what I understand from others, most children gravitate towards those most similar to them at school anyway, and I know that our local comprehensive has many many parents like myself who want the best for their kids but can't afford the private option. They therefore support the children in as many other ways as possible and they usually turn out to be good, decent people, like their parents. Like you, I don't give a monkey's what my children choose to do when they grow up - if they choose to clean the loos on Waterloo station, then that's fine by me, just so long as they are happy and satisfied with their lives, and as long as I know I have done the very best I could for them. And I'm sure most of us feel the same.

Xenia - I do admire you, for saying what you believe and being prepared to take the flack for it, even though I dont always agree with you.

My dd has just started reception and I have been thinking of secondary school a little and hoping that the local school improves by the time we need it. The local primary has had a total turn around (for the best) since a new head arrived, so I think the schools can improve.

I wouldnt consider sending her to a private school at all, I really want her to mix with all walks of life, I think that is a valuable lesson in itself.

Saying what you think is only admirable if what you say is admirable. Hitler spoke his mind too.

I believe in the freedom of speach, everybody is allowed to say what they want, its up to us as individuals if we agree with them or not.

Yup, I also support the right of people to spout offensive snobbish crap. But it doesn't mean it isn't offensive bigotry.

But then who gets to decide what is admirable Aloha?

It's a tough one.

I guess what could be viewed as admirable is being prepared to stand by what beleive when most others disagree with you.

Most poeple don't do that.

Or some like me, do it a bit but then cry when no one likes them.

(Tell me what AA Gills other twin is called I'm racked with curiosity.)

Oh you did. Thanks.

Well, if someone wants to gloat about how simply marvellous it is that her kids go to a school which doesn't allow people with nasty common accents or - horrors - special needs - to go near her precious children, I can think that person is beneath contempt. And I do.

And that is my last post, because once again a whole thread has been turned into a bloody Xenia fest, and she just loves it.

did anyone see the hideous article in last night's Standard on how "children being bussed to "better" schools" is the new black?

I agree wholeheartedly with Aloha!

and I do wonder if Xenia is 'real'.

Does anyone else think she is just someone who loves to wind people up and sit back and enjoy the joke?

For someone who earns the billions that she does, she sure does spend a lot of time on Mumsnet!

Maybe she is JudgeFlounce in disguise!

Vile IMHO.

At the end of the day, don't we all just want what is best for our own, individual children, regardless of our background or bank balance? Everyone's different - the World would be a very dull place indeed if we were all the same.

Am I right?

Is that what the nosetapping means??

i knew it

Fio?? Jammy??