... to think it slightly odd that so many of my school mum friends are hung up about secondary schools already, when their kids are only 5!

[sandyballs]

It seems to be the sole topic of conversation lately - how good/bad the local comp is, how extra tuition will be needed for the local grammar etc etc.

The kids are 5/6 years old! Let them be kids!

I'm sure our parents never had all this school angst!

I'm glad to hear I've already ruined my children's lives by sending them to bog standard local state school for reception, I mean, that's one decision done and dusted and never to worry about again, isn't it?!

Back to OP... I worried about secondary since before DC1 started school, but that's because we were moving into the area just then, and I could tell the local secondary was rubbish and I am just Xing fingers it will improve or another option presents itself.

Someone I know has the whole thing figured out - right up to moving her ds's to a particular intermediate school to get into a certain high school. She scraped through the minimum at high school and has never managed to finish a course she started since.

I went to a secondary school that was amazing when I was there and now is totally rubbish. The rubbish school is now totally amazing. Both changes happened in 10 years. So as we have 10 years before ds starts high school i certainly won't be worrying about it now.

Xenia...you are funny

Depends though... most of the brilliant private schools like Manchester Grammar have always been good. One year's figures is never good. Hundreds of years of reputation is often best.

I don't think anyone should be suggesting that you don't care about your child's education if you send them to the local state primary. We moved to the area we're in now because of the fantastic primaries which are as good as any private school. Having said that though, we are thinking about sending ours to the private secondary if the state schools haven't improved much over the next six or so years, which will mean me having to go back to work full time.

DS1 is 3 and if we stay in this country I have already planned best primary school so that he will get into the local grammar school, which is excellent and has better results than local private schools (whoops Manchester Grammar, Xenia )

I think, as with everything else connected with parenting these days it seems, a lot depends on where you live.
Most parents in some parts of London are already thinking ahead to what happens post 11, because of the shortage of choice of secondary education. People do move house, book tutors years in advance or switch sector to try and get the best education for their child's needs. Round where I live a lot of the state primaries are excellent or good, some of them are dreadful, the secondary education is near bottom of the national league tables, they are trying to close the superb Special School for PMLD in the next borough , the same borough has a known shortage of places in any secondary school, full stop, and another adjacent borough has state grammars with parents renting sheds to get into the priority catchment areas (or Ministers bussing in their child from Peckham ).
I agree Special Measures and Superheads can make a difference. But if you have the dubious privilege to still be living in the same part of the country you grew up in, then like me you will know that some schools stay forever struggling and unappealing, despite everyone's best efforts. Don't bank on a failing school being a beacon of excellence in ten years time
And, I have to say, I joined Mn when my son had just started walking. He is now in Yr 3 and therefore half-way through primary school. It honestly goes by much quicker than you ever think it will, alas

There are no state schools local to Manchester Grammar which get better A level results in proper subjects looking at numbers of As etc. and numbers to Oxbridge. There might be some flawed fake league tables that count A level cooking but none will be really properly as good.

Are you from Manchester Xenia?

Mancheser Grammar pupils used to get on my Oik School bus and block the aisles with their lacrosse sticks

I find it quite sad reading your posts sometimes, you seem quite cold and obsessed with image, lifestyle and wealth. Which maybe you are not, but still, I find it sad.

I didn't even VISIT the school that dd1 will hopefully start at in September. It is linked to her playgroup and seems fine. No idea on league tables. It is 15 mins walk away.

What's not to like?

Manchester Grammar is a boys school so I'd be surprised if they played lacrosse. It also has 25% of pupils who don't pay fees. It's one of the most socially inclusive but academic schools in the country. A lovely place.

Oh, I am thinking Stockport Grammar then.

see, bad edukashun

Ds1 is Yr1 and I am TERRIFIED about secondary school choices. There is one option in our area, which is a church school, and no other option, so if he doesn't get in there I do not know what we will do. We simply can't afford private school. For 3 children at the same time (and they would overlap) it would be at least 30k a year - and whatever xenia says, in my field, I could not earn that.

It is a stste funded mixed Grammar school in Lancashire/North Manchester and I know of parents who pay for their sons to go to MG who would love their sons to go to said school (they are not in catchment area).
Personally I would prefer my DS's to go to a mixed sex school where their hard work and achievement is rewarded, not just their parents' bank balance.

don't know if I'm totally hung up about it or not. I'm definitely thinking about secondary school (dd is 6.5) and started school last August (they start later in Germany). I looked at all the different possibilities for secondary schools here at the same time as I investigated primary schools. If we're still here, I really don't know where to try and send dd.

I think Xenia is right in that if you do know for sure that you want dc to attend secondary school A in the UK, you need to plan carefully and that is what a lot of dp I know are doing there.

A lot can change with schools in a very short space of time. I taught briefly at our village infant school, thought it was great. A couple of years later, my dd started at a lovely nursery nearby and I completely believed she'd be going to the infant school after.
How wrong was I ?! After a change of head, dh and I went to look round and hated it The head was rude, unapproachable and unprofessional. The classrooms were a mess and so uninspiring, the staff looked depressed, the children were existing, not having fun and enjoying learning. I couldn't believe it .
Moral - don't expect the schools to stay as good/bad as they are ATM.

Xenia you have said on other threads that none of your children even tried to get into Oxbridge.

The best school in my area is a catholic school. Do you HAVE to be catholic to get into a catholic school?
My kids are still toddlers so a lot can change before they go to school.

Yes, what's the got to do with anything? If a school gets 20 a year to Oxbridge the rest of the sixth form are usually going to some pretty good universities too. So it's a good marker if you're after that kind of an education and have fairly intelligent children.

It would not be fair for anyone really to criticise Manchester Grammar as a place you buy your way into if you're rich by the way. You can use Millfield, school for the sporty and not so bright perhaps, if you want to do that and need an example.

Also for me I wanted a single sex school and I wanted my children brought up apart from people who were from dysfunctional families, lower IQ etc etc and I wanted them to speak like I do too so a whole range of other things, not just academics and I know some people also wouldn't want to send their children to a school where the chidlren end up speaking differntly from how they speak at home too so again would be choosing a local school with the local accent on exactly the same grounds I might choose a school... not that I felt my children's schools were particularyl good at getting to speak properly!

It's unlikely you'd get in Powder, if you weren't catholic. Our local catholic schools have a points system - ie, married in catholic church, baptised before age 1, attends regular masses, involved in church etc. If you did not score on any of those it would be highly unlikely you'd get a place. Other catholic schools may be different though.

Going back to my original post - the thing is with all this tutoring at age 7 etc, if the kid isn't naturally bright enough to pass these tests without tutoring, doesn't these imply that they may have a hard time at a grammar school.

My main criteria for my two DDs is that they are happy at school, enjoy going there every day and do their best, whatever "their best" may mean. I'm certainly not "hoping" for uni or Grade A's everywhere, unless that's what they want/can achieve, in which case I will support and encourage them.

How do you define "dysfunctional families" Xenia.

Oliveoil - I have to say I completely agree with your post about Xenia - exactly how I feel.

Aaah, so financially well off people don't get divorced/have "dysfunctional families"/have lower IQ's then...?
I think that that view point is exactly why I wouldn't want my sons going to a school whose parents thought like that!

...and also rather dull and boring.