... to think it slightly odd that so many of my school mum friends are hung up about secondary schools already, when their kids are only 5!

[sandyballs]

It seems to be the sole topic of conversation lately - how good/bad the local comp is, how extra tuition will be needed for the local grammar etc etc.

The kids are 5/6 years old! Let them be kids!

I'm sure our parents never had all this school angst!

Touched a nerve eh??? [Grin] [Grin]

It's not nice when people generalise is it but it did amuse me!!

Can I nominate HoppyDaddys last post for QOTW?

AND "lots of blacks"?!?! What planet are you on? Do you have ANY respect for ANYONE who isn't a clone of you?

Jesus, I'm leaving this one now before lose my rag completely.

I love our Washing Machine Man. Even though he is working class and from a dysfunctional background. He is one of the most interesting and intellectually curious men I've ever met. He is a humane, wise and funny guy.
I take your point (well illustrated on this thread by some of your own posts...) about sweeping generalisations, but he is much more fun to be with than many of our contemporaries who work in the City.

Xenia would probably be happy for her children to be educated alongside washing machine man's children, provided washing machine man worked 36 hour days in order to scrape together the money for his children to get into private school.

Pamina, I did laugh at what you told me about the public school products that you encountered at sixth form!

I just think of the guy I mentioned, who has become a family friend, and honestly think that Xenia is the loser by dismissing anyone not like her own family out of hand. I know you have worked hard to achieve your material goods Xenia, but when I read posts like yours this morning I still regard your mindset as a fundamentally impoverished one

although i dont generally agree with xenia on anything at all Im afraid I do admire her ability to be consistent. Clearly she wants what she perceives as best for her children like any of us and luckily she can afford what many of us cant. She has sought out the best schools for her children like many others. I sent my children to good state schools out of catchment because they offered what I feel a better learning environment and achieve better grades. The focus is on education and the majority of the children come from families who do care about how their children will achieve and behave. Obviously there are little shits there too

I am wondering what Xenia would make of my own father.

He was expelled from school at 15 (no mean feat, when you consider he went to one of the worst schools in the area). He is one of 5 children (now who did I hear of on here who has 5 children....?) He speaks with a real London accent and owns (and works every day in) a newspaper shop, but......

He also owns several properties in London and the US, racehorses, lives in a nice house in the country and is the most intelligent, articulate and political person I know. His wisdom is beyond reproach, and as one of my friends put it, "If he told you cat shit tasted nice, you'd eat it" He has a phenomenally high IQ and a strict code of morals by which we all were raised (I have 3 siblings).

But to Xenia, he would be the 'chirpy cockney in the paper shop'.

Don't judge people by your own superficial standards - I can't believe someone who is supposed to be well-educated can't understand the complexities of humanity.

Am new to this Xenia stuff so forgive my naivity, but is she not jusy saying that she wants the best for her children as we all do? She is just being very specific in a way that if we all were that honest, maybe we would agree with. Do you all WANT your dc to be in a class with children with low IQs then? Dont you WANT them to be in a class with children who want to learn? I admit she is open, but in private conversations with friends dont you agree with her points?

My Dad left school at 14 to work in the local garage with his dad.

Two of his three children went to Oxbridge via the local comprehensive school.

My BIL was offered a place at Oxford. As a young "black" (Xenia's word) he decided to turn it down, he felt he would be too out of place and very unwelcome. I understand his reasons but was sad as I know the doors that it would have opened for him. He's now at a local university and working 2 jobs to fund himself. And he used to represent GB at Karate.

I have a good relationship with my butcher, he's a great bloke and good company. A friend of mine often says "you have time, talking to THOSE people, you know". She's also an irritating snob.

Well, you can forgive Dino and myself for not being absolutely in agreement with Xenia for thinking that mixing children like ours would contaminate children like hers. Personally, I don't think she deserves to have her kids mix with children as intelligent and interesting as our kids. But I pity her kids who don't have the opportunity.

i normally stay out of these things but i can't help it now...
Xenia, in some of your previous posts (not necessarily this particular thread) i find myself nodding and thinking "i understand where she's coming from"; or "ooh, a bit harsh, but yes, i suppose one can look at it that way" etc. I suppose it's because i am a working mum (who enjoys it) and if we can, my DH and I are planning to send our children to private school.
But i suppose where i find myself scratching my head sometimes is when you make sweeping statements about a kind of life that you have clearly tried very hard to avoid (being a stay at home mum, choosing to send kids to state schools, not having a choice but to send children to state schools etc) - given you've tried very hard to avoid this "fate", i don't know how you can possibly know what that kind of life that is, or what kind of person/people would choose that kind of life. I think where people take most offense is the overriding feeling one gets when reading some of your posts that you do really think your choices are the better than those made by others.
I came from a 3rd world country, educated there all the way, got sponsored by my last firm to take my masters here in london and now have a very good job working in the City. If there is something life has taught me, life is a lottery as you have no control over what you can start off with (not just financially, but you may be borne in a war torn country, rich but detached parents etc) and it's what you make out of it that counts - and there are a LOT of ways of achieving a fulfilled life - private schools, mixing with only certain types of families etc - may be one way of getting there (if a certain type of life is your aim) but my god, am sure it's not the only one.
Sorry if incoherent, but i suppose i am just shocked that one who is clearly blessed financially is not much more humble.

Actually, CLD, I genuinely do want my six year old - and bear in mind she is six, OK - to be in a class with children with behavioural problems and learning difficulties (which I assume is what you mean by 'low IQ'). She is learning from that experience, as much as she is learning academically. And no, they do not appear to have 'brought down', said academic achievements. Rather to my surprise (given completely slovenly lack of parental input) she appears to be doing magnificently well.

GrumpyOldHorsewoman, my grandad had similar background to your dad. He left school at 14 to work to support his family. Lied about his age to join the Army to serve in WWII. After the war, worked upto 6 jobs at once, doing everything from Union rep to lorry driver. My childhood was filled with wonderful stories from his life, upto 3/4 foreign holidays a year and some amazing memories.

One of the things I love about working in IT, is the diversity of people you work with. The Oxbridge graduates, The Chairman who lunched with the Queen Mother at least once a month, the brother of the Premiership Footballer, the bloke in the postroom, the woman who gave me extra portions in the canteen. I'm no better / worse than them nor are they better / worse than me.

ROFL

ROFL

and thrice ROFL

you are most definitely not in the real world

back here on planet REALITY, we all realise that everyone is different and thank god for that

I feel very very sorry for your children, god forbid that they may bring someone home who you think is inferior

sad sad sad, as I said before

anyway back tio the OP - I think its a shame to be so hung up at this age but believe me the time soon goes and before you know it you are looking at schyools.

I dont agree with tutoring for grammar schools through as if teh child has the natural ability then they will get through instead of artificial intelligence. That said, every mother thinks their child is a genius anyway

i live right near the school (i think) xenias children attend (attended) they're really quite normal people!

though where i live we are surrounded by tons of private schools and one big comp (where my son goes) he is doing well and loves it. that's what is important to me.

Then motherinferior you are doing the same as Xenia, only the opposite way round. You are deciding that it is good for your child to be in that environment and she is deciding it is good for her children to be in another kind of environment.
So everybody wins surely?

I think I would be doing my children a gross disservice if I believed they would only succeed if educated at a top private school among a very narrow section of society (as I was, incidentally). It always amazes me that people don't have more faith both in themselves and their children.