... to think it slightly odd that so many of my school mum friends are hung up about secondary schools already, when their kids are only 5!

[sandyballs]

It seems to be the sole topic of conversation lately - how good/bad the local comp is, how extra tuition will be needed for the local grammar etc etc.

The kids are 5/6 years old! Let them be kids!

I'm sure our parents never had all this school angst!

Xenia, why do you think single sex schools mean there wont be any/as many pupils from dysfunctional families?

"I wanted my children brought up apart from people who were from dysfunctional families, lower IQ etc etc"

you are a shameless snob, make no mistake

what is a dysfunctional family? Would it be one where the parents may be divorced, perhaps with the father taking not an active enough role or having enough contact with his children? You're very judgemental Xenia!

I went to a single sex school

Xenia has also posted before about how she wanted to avoid her children being educated with those who have special educational needs. I just loved that one.

aren't you divorced though Xenia? Does that fall in your ridiculous notion of disfunctional?

Parp a roony

I have work to do, need to keep my low IQ family in crisps doncha know

pushy, wealth obsessed parents could be classed as dysfunctional me thinks!

Pamina, as you know I know a family from Westminster too, and I think a lot of people would regard them as very dysfunctional.

Xenia - Are you quite posh? Do you have any friends who are not posh?

Where I work there are lots of posh Oxbridge types and I find them achingly dull. Not to say being posh and dullness always go hand in hand - look at Carol Thatcher - but in my experience there is a distinct lacking in verve and vitality in posh people.

Where I live there is a very good secondary school and all the parents want to get there kids into it. I have even heard an 8yr old boy say he want to go there. People need to start living a little and not through their children.

I'm trying to work but I just can't leave this thread alone. You make me so Xenia with your judgemental posts. I should drop it I know, you're entitled to your view, as we all are.

But do you seriously believe that having a "nice" accent, mixing with the "right" people, achieving high grades and a uni place and then obtaining a "good" job somehow puts you a cut above the rest?

I am trying to avoid my children getting the local accent however but then is mine any better?

I went to Oxford (from a state school but middlinglyposh family) and am the epitome of Verve and Vitality (ahem).

I do know what you mean, Marina: I have realised with huge relief that the schools in my area appear to be OK at secondary level and suspect that I am just going to have to stay in Catford for ever.

I so hope that my DS's will grow up and get a job so high-powered and important that they can then spend all day on parenting websites slagging off 85% of the population.

I went to private school and then a boarding school for sixth form, didn't try for Oxbridge, went to old traditional redbrick university.

Dh went to an adequate comprehensive school, went to Cambridge, so did his brother - in fact his brother got a first from Cambridge and a PhD from Oxford!!!

I really don't know whether to laugh or cry...
Btw, I have more than one friend who has been admitted to Oxbridge. Italian. English as a second language. State school.

Yes, TS but you still don't get a number of other attributes if you go to many state schools.

My dysfunctional point was just that I want children with involved middle class parents who yes might be divorced like me but who aren't under care of social services, are all striving for the same ends, see the importance of homework, no one in class is disruptive, everyone similar level of IQ so whole class working together, ideally a similar accent, no one saying you was or swearing too much, no graffiti, no one drug taking at home, no children who are in effect having to parent. I avoid boarding schools actually because there are more children from that kind of dyfunction there too, too much money, not enough parental involvement, too much an acceptance of drug taking and smoking etc.

If I turned this around "Where I work there are lots of posh Oxbridge types and I find them achingly dull." and said where i work there are lots of blacks and I find them achingly dull you can see how those types of comments are in the reverse. I happen to find people who went to good universities have a better level of conversation and say my washing machine man has who I was talking to the other day I'm afraid.

Anyway there we are. People differ. I'm not sure I'm that different from lots of state school parents pushing to get their child into the very nice local grammar or smarter comp because they want their children sergrated from and protected from stuff I pay for mine to be separated from. It's just I admit it and other parents don't.

I assumed that Xenia was taking the piss
No?
Your are for real Xenia? surely not

oh right.... Maybe not so funny then
Not funny at all

Xenia I pity your children if they ever underachieve at school. You'll be an outcast at all the candlelight suppers!

Most of your comments are just unreal.

And patronising those of a lower class or "social standing" than you just makes me sick.

If you didn't have your washing machine man, you'd have to wash your clothes by hand. He's just as valid as you, in your highflying wanktastic career choice.