To think baby groups aren't really necessary

[ProseccoMamam]

Never been to one myself, doubt I ever will. Plus lots and lots of other mums on here & in real life have said they didn't feel welcome/wasn't really worth it. Just your opinions really? Have you been, how did you find them? Good/bad experiences.

Just to make a point I'm not here to cause an argument, I'm sure many mums enjoy taking their children to groups, good on you

For parents, can absolutely be a lifeline.

For babies' development, absolutely not necessary and parents shouldn't feel like they have to go if that's not what they want to do.

I only narrowly avoided pnd because of the children's centre first time mums group that I was encouraged to attend by my midwife.
I made a couple of valuable friendships here that meant I had a small semblance of a social life with my new baby who was driving me nuts. For me it was absolutely necessary

I'm not especially a group person but I found our local church group brilliant. All parents and babies and toddlers were made welcome. For a small charge we had a morning out, with toys provided for the children, activities arranged for them and coffee/squash/water biscuits.

I went to a great Mum and Toddler group with DD one. Both really enjoyed it. When DD2 rocked up it seemed to have a different vibe so only went a couple of times. Tried a different group and didn't like that either so didn't bother any more. If its not for you, don't go.

For babies? No not necessary. For me, absolutely. We moved back to the UK from abroad when I was 8 months pregnant, no family or friends within 150 miles. I wouldn't have talked to another adult from 7-7 mon-fri if I didn't go to baby groups.

My husband and I were young parents (23&21). I wanted to meet new mum's alike and people my daughter could be playmates with as all our friends were still out partying so I joined a mother a baby group.
It was the most awful experience on my life, one that I remember 16 years later. The women were awful, no one spoke a word to me. I remember trying to make conversation with people who simply gave me one word answers and then turned their back on me. I never went back and stayed clear even after our second child was born.

I do a class/group every weekday with my 9 month old - I find it hard to entertain him in the house during the three hour awake periods so going to a group fills one of those and as pp have said it gives me a reason to get up and out other than pottering around the park/shops/library again.

DS absolutely loves the classes and starts bouncing up and down when they start. I can see if you had a local support network and/or a more easily entertained baby then they wouldn't be necessary.

I used to run a Mother and Toddler group and I know that we made a difference for many families in our community.

Not everyone lives near family and friends. A lot of new mums have worked full time and never got to know their neighbours. A good Mother and Baby group can be an absolute lifeline.

If you don't want to go, then don't.

Thought I'd hate them. Found them a lifeline

Decaffstilltastesweird yeah we quit!
The other classes we went to were lovely and left you loads of time at the age to chat and sort the babies out and leave in your own time. Tumble tots was so rushed and if you overstayed by 2 mins you were frowned at and shooed out the door. It was one class after another rushed in and out. Not sure that's the best way to treat people paying good money to be there, getting flustered with babies that are getting hungry and tired.

I thought I'd love them but have only been a couple of times. My DD always seemed to be asleep (had to be at home) when they were on. I'm a very sociable person but found them a bit tiresome. The best people I spoke to were grandparents rather than mums as they were more level-headed and not competitive about things. I mean to go again (DD is now one) but favour meeting with current friends over making more. DD goes to nursery one day a week where she socialises with other kids and loves it.

So, no, YANBU.

I found them a useful, inexpensive and easy way to entertain dd1 while on mat leave with dd2. She was only 2y so a lot of if things she needed more assistance from me than I could reasonably provide with a newborn attached to me, but church run toddler groups were the perfect solution.

I don't attend any, I don't like the idea of constantly talking about children and comparing development etc. that I see going on with my sisters-in-law who all go to them. Everytime I see groups of parents out with their babies or toddlers in coffee shops they only seem to talk about having kids. I didn't attend NCT for the same reason. I'm not a maternal person and I don't really like children, other than my own of course.

I'm sure it's great for some and I'm certain not all parents act like this but for me the baby group thing is not me. I'm very lucky to have lots of family around, including multiple cousins of a similar age, for my daughter to interact with though. I think that probably changes my opinion somewhat as I'm happy to just hang out with my parents and grandparents, and childless friends.

When she's older and interested in hobbies then I will probably attend groups. For now I'm happy spending my maternity leave wandering around the woods and parks alone!

I loved going to baby groups when I was on mat leave and met lots of lovely friends. Mind you, I don't have a lot of family nearby and all my friends were at work so I needed the company. I think they are more for mum's benefit than baby's though!! And can completely understand if it's not someone else's thing

I do find on here they are paraded as the ultinate solution to loneliness and they arent. Ok for kids to play at though.

I have a Newborn and I'm new to the area. I know nobody and am feeling pretty lonely, I will definitely be going to some baby groups in September. For my sanity.

@Unihorn I was the same, I'd rather go for a coffee and talk about normal stuff rather than baby poo and co-sleeping I'm not just a mum!!

Loved mine, and made some really good friends there. I moved to a different city at 36 week preg, and they were a lifeline as others have sad. Mine did great coffee, squash and biscuits for a pound per family, the kids loved playing with toys they didn't have at home, and really enjoyed the singing session at the end. You don't have to go to one, nobody is forcing you, but I have very fond memories, and good friends, from mine.

DD is 21 and I'm still grateful for my baby support group. I had loads of friends and family support, but with a screaming baby (would be called high needs now) I would not like to lay many bets on my mental health (and therefore DD's wellbeing) if I hadn't had baby group.

I love mine. Dh works long hours and I'm often on my own with the baby for a few days at a time. I love ds, but at 8 months, conversations can be a bit one sided. They get us of the house, a small purpose for a few hours. DS likes the interaction, and sleeps on the walk home and then usually long enough for me to have some lunch and ten minutes chilled time. Win-win!

OP and Unihorn why do you imagine baby group conversation is any different from normal conversation?
There is support and discussion of baby issues, but other stuff hapoens too! Aren't you fabulous that you are 'more than a mum'? How superior is that as an attitude?

With all due respect, what a daft original post. IMHO, the fact that you've never been to a baby group undermines your argument somewhat, and you sound blithely unaware of the absolute lifelines that baby groups can provide, and the kind of situation that makes that support so essential. It's great that you were confident, social and anxiety-free enough to make it through the first year or two with just the support of family and friends, but not everyone has that kind of tangible support locally (or even the kind that's on the other end of the phone, albeit far away).

I did a fair few. My family are more than 100 miles away, and I was the first of my local friends to have a baby. And also, my local friends all work so we could hardly meet up for coffee willy nilly, and as I breastfed and he refused bottles, I couldn't leave him in the evenings.

We did baby yoga, swimming and a breastfeeding group. I've made some good friends and it's nice for DS to have children his own age to play with. Now we do playgroup once a week, which is excellent as he socialises with children of all ages. I'm planning to start taking him to a second weekly group when it starts up again after the summer holidays.

Now that he's a toddler I think they do him lots of good. When he was a baby I'm sure he enjoyed them, and I certainly did - which was also good for him as a happy mum helps to make a happy baby.

I took baby I was minding to a baby group and it was great, instant adult conversation & other small people for DC to play with and interact.

Tpwhen I looked online there were around 30 baby groups in the two towns I live in between. So I guess other must feel they are a positive experience, otherwise there wouldn't be that many