To think baby groups aren't really necessary

[ProseccoMamam]

Never been to one myself, doubt I ever will. Plus lots and lots of other mums on here & in real life have said they didn't feel welcome/wasn't really worth it. Just your opinions really? Have you been, how did you find them? Good/bad experiences.

Just to make a point I'm not here to cause an argument, I'm sure many mums enjoy taking their children to groups, good on you

It's generally where mums and children make friends which they value, and where children learn to socialise and get used to unfamiliar environments and noise.

My local community trust runs buggy walk groups, different area every day. The one I go to is a walk round the nature reserve then back to the hall for tea and juice and the communal box of toys out.

I thought it wouldn't be my thing but, once everyone had visited the baby and my husband went back to work, I was on my own several days a week. We don't have any other children in the family so it's also a couple of hours a week where my son can play with other children.

Sometimes I think mums do need to speak to others just to reassure themselves that they're actually doing okay. Some people do it here, others do it in real life. Each to their own.

It totally depends on where you're at and how your baby responds to them. It can be a real tonic if you're drowning in parenthood and hitting walls, especially if you find a couple of knackered kindred spirits who don't mind you snoring on their shoulder. That first year is tough and it's great if you can find your tribe. Baby group may or may not be it for you. You've just got to go with what you feel. If it's hard work and a hassle, I'd never push myself to engage in something that isn't enjoyable. I avoid playgroup (I know, it's beyond baby group but comes under the same umbrella) with DC3 because ours is just a sensory nightmare! Huge bouncy castle in an enormous but dark church hall filled to the brim with mums and screaming babies swallowed up by the incredibly loud cBeebified rave music pounding and twisting in the background. It is awful! It's like paying three pounds to be scalped and have your exposed brain stuck onto a disturbed hornets' nest.

Im a very lone parent. groups are my lifeline!

They were essential to me as I moved to a new area when 35 weeks pregnant. I now have a lovely group of very local friends and so do my children.

If you have people around then it's fine not to.

How old is your baby op?

Yabu

People won't start a thread saying "baby groups are wonderful" - so you'll see mainly complaints about them.

I thought they were great. They got me out of the house and talking to adults. Sometimes I went to one and didn't speak to anyone and sometimes I did. They stopped me sliding deep into PND as I became housebound and didn't have any mums to socialise with.

You've found something you've never used unnecessary?

Well, there you go. Learn something new everyday.

I never went to any of the official organised ones, but would meet friends and their babies for coffee and play, so same thing really.

Not necessary, but fine if they give a mum/dad some company, time away from 4 walls at home.

Attended a first time mum group which was fab. We all started going for a coffee lunch after whilst first DC's mainly slept. It was lovely to meet with others in same boat at same time. As I was an older mum so other friends were at work and different stages of there lives. I found it a complete lifeline. We continued to meet for some time after.
With a couple of mums we attended another group which was a large old fashioned mother and toddler group in church hall it was quite a busy (play, singsong, coffee and juice). It was a very mixed group (mums, grandparents and people from very different social classes). The organizer was lovely a genuinely nice person who always had time, a smile and a chat inspite of her own health issues. I had two DC very close together so it was a lovely place to go.
Don't knock it until you have tried it. My parents weren't interested in me and DC, in laws lived away and other friends were at different stages in their lives.

Haha nice one OP. Humblebrag about your child's advanced social skills and your lovely child filled extended family.

Some of us have no friends or family in the area and need to build a new support network from scratch when we become parents.

Lucky for you you already had one

When mine were littler, baby and toddler groups were a lifeline. None of my friends had children, so it was good to get out of the house and talk to people with little ones the same age. Kept me sane!

What a ridiculous thing to say! They may not be necessary for you but I couldn't have survived the last three years without them!
At the beginning they gave me a reason to force myself to get dressed despite PND and everything else that comes with having a new baby. My now three year old don't attend them any more, we now do more organised activities and play dates with the group of friends I made through the baby groups. I'd know no one in my area with children if it wasn't for baby groups and I'm sure I'm not the only one. I'd say they are crucial during what can be a very lonely and isolated time of life!

I found such groups great for the company more than anything else. I adopted my DD1 at 1 year old and it was a massive learning curve, and it gave us both a change of scene. And DD1 loved playing with different toys.

When DD2 came to live with us 3 years later, I was more confident as a mum and really didn't feel the need of such groups. I found it less beneficial for her than for DD1 because at that stage she was massively clingy. If I do much as left her with a friend in order to go to the toilet she used to scream. So I sometimes went but often not.

I couldn't go, they were all during my lecture times. It was a shame as I could have done with having some mum friends - I was 19 and very much the only one out of all of my friends with a baby or any plans to have a baby - but I got by without them.

They aren't essential, but lots of people find them very useful, so I'd say they're necessary for a lot of people.

I like baby groups. Change of scene for me and baby - new toys, bit of company, . Never felt unwelcome but I didn't go aiming to meet friends for life and I'm reasonably outgoing. All the children's centres have closed in my borough and I think it's a shame. Was the one place where people tended to mix properly and it had the potential to build a bit of community. I go to the library for rhyme time now but it's a bit more limited.

I went back to work at 6 months and my DH became a SAHD. For them it provided a really good distraction from me not being there and helped get them into a routine. They still (2 years later) go along to two groups one of which he feels more welcome at than the other. DS certainly looks forward to them and has been quite upset that his "BabyGym" is not on over the holidays -especially as we often walk past.

I think it depends on what you're doing them for. I liked them when he was tiny as a way for me to socialise with other parents but I don't think he got much out of it -he'd have preferred me to be breastfeeding on the sofa watching Midsomer Murders! For toddlers there are playgroups which might start them socialising and more organised music/gym groups which might support skills you feel less confident with.

Also the financial side -some of the groups seem extortionate for what they offer but found that groups at churches/community centres are better value.

I've stated a few posts ago that I didn't realise how much a baby group could help new mums with their mental health. That's a massive bonus to them and I have gotten a lot of respect now for how these groups can change lives drastically. A baby needs, most of all, well parents. I'm glad so many of you have found baby groups beneficial.

As for humble bragging, really? I was explaining my own situation. I didn't mean to make others feel like their children weren't as 'good'.

Essential for me as I was not in the area I grew up so didn't have a social group. The only people I knew were colleagues from work. I met loads of people in playgroup, nursery and the school gate. They're still my best friends 17 years later!

Both of my sisters still live in their home town with school friends having babies at the same time so they don't / didn't go.

I went back to work after four months so never went. I think they are useful for isolated first-time mums.

We don't all have close by families with a gaggle of kids of differing ages to hand. They were essential for dd as much as for me to socialise as she is an only with no family around. As a child, I suffered through not interacting with many children other than my brother, who was generally vile to me so I didn't actually know how to play properly. I very vividly remember feeling stupid aged 3 at playgroup for not knowing how I should play and looking round self consciously. For some people, i think they can be essential. I am very conscious as an only my dd should have as much interaction with other children as possible. I think it is a crying shame surestart projects were scrapped for we used to go to an absolutely fantastic one.

To add to my post, I moved back to the uk having lived abroad for 9 years, where I knew no one at 7 months pregnant.

When I tried tumble tots we got the hard sell and got told that babies who did tumble tots developed better than ones who didn't. I would have loved to quiz the woman on this random statement. How was this measured? And is this just ones that dontso tumble tots but do others - baby sensory, swimming, massage etc - or do nothing at all? Clearly a load of bollocks.

I don't know. Sometimes you need a reason to get out of your pyjamas that day. And socialising I reckon good for the babies especially if you're going back to work to a) get them used to other people for nursery and b) get some colds out of the way.

I was 7 months pregnant when I moved to a new town, with a language I didn't speak. No job. Didn't know anyone, BIL doesn't have children so no cousins to meet with. For me it was a lifesaver and we still meet up with the families I met when my eldest was born.

howthelightgetsin

Tumble Tots is the worst class I've ever been to with DD! I actually complained about it, as they talked such a good game to get you to sign up, but imo, it was just like a slightly rubbish soft play, but with queues for the equipment. DD hated it and so did I!