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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for asking my neighbour if her grandson could move his daughters bed away from our side of the wall.

98 replies

Governoress86 · 04/08/2017 18:21

Hello all

I have an elderly neighbour who i got on with for years and then in January her grandson moved i n with his 2 children.

No his youngest daughters bed is right next to our wall and i have anxiety and depression, ptsd,off and panic attacks. My daughter also has medical issues with having fits if she doesn't get enough sleep.

My neighbours grandsons daughter has a tendency at 4in the morning to kick and bang her bottle on the wall and it has become an issue where it is waking me and my daughter up.

AIBU that because I have asked if it could be possible for the grandson to !I've his daughters bed away from the wall as they know about my medical issues and my daughters, she has now fallen out with me!

Not only has she fallen out with me but she has deliberately damaged my fence which i have on film. I heard her telling people in our street about my mental health issues and slagging me of and is now saying stuff to my 7 year old daughter. Her grandson keeps intimidating me aswel.

So it all had become too much for me that I had to phone the council which said she would have a word with her and told me to phone the police about my fence which i did and they have logged the incident, but since I have done this it has become worse. I'm getting abuse thrown at me, saying I'm not got to be a mother with my mental health issues and i should be locked up.

And now I vs having an impact on my health and the council don't seem to be doing anything and I just don't know what to do.

Sorry for the long post

Many thanks

OP posts:
10greenapples · 04/08/2017 18:23

Well I can see why they got annoyed tbh. In my dds room the bed can only go in one place due to the shape of the room.

MyWhatICallNameChange · 04/08/2017 18:26

If they couldn't do it due to room layout all they had to do was say! It doesn't excuse anything they've done since.

Do they own or rent? If they rent then complain to the council/landlord and make sure you log everything with the police.

They sound like utter arses.

Original poster
Governoress86 · 04/08/2017 18:27

All i asked was of it could be moved a bit away from the wall just so she can reach the wall, not completely move it around. I was not horrible to get it nasty about it and surely i don't deserve to have her tell everyone about my health issues?

OP posts:
Original poster
Governoress86 · 04/08/2017 18:29

They rent. There is room to move the bed i have been in the house and have seen where the bed is. I am logging everything.

OP posts:
abigcupoffuckyou · 04/08/2017 18:30

Well I can see why they got annoyed tbh. In my dds room the bed can only go in one place due to the shape of the roo

You can see why they started being abusive, including to children, and vandalising property?
Hmm

10greenapples · 04/08/2017 18:32

Sorry not the way they acted, can see why they weren't able to move it. Even moving it slightly away from the way wouldn't help as she would be able to still reach it unless you wanted them to move it completely yes that is unreasonable.

ADayGivingMeHope · 04/08/2017 18:35

Keep reporting to the police and to her landlord constantly and eventually something will get done.
Don't sit back and let them get away with attacking you verbally or otherwise.

Every single time - report them!

PaintingByNumbers · 04/08/2017 18:36

This is just a long game now of logging incidents, reporting to.police and council until they stop or are evicted
No idea why some posters think they are reasonable, but I guess they do too. The police can tell them otherwise.

liz70 · 04/08/2017 18:37

"Well I can see why they got annoyed tbh. In my dds room the bed can only go in one place due to the shape of the room."

So that excuses their aggressive and intimidating behaviour, then, does it? Christ on a bike.

Original poster
Governoress86 · 04/08/2017 18:39

Thank you for the replies. It's got to the point now where I'm thinking of moving due to the abuse especially when it's involving my daughter.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 04/08/2017 18:40

This all seems a bit familiar. Confused

Original poster
Governoress86 · 04/08/2017 18:40

What do you mean sparklingbrook?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 04/08/2017 18:45

Ah, sorry it was this thread I was thinking of.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2971745-WIBU-to-ask-my-NDN-to-move-their-childs-cot

Farmerswife4life1984 · 04/08/2017 18:46

Do you have a cpn ? I ha e MH issues and have a cpn I can contact and talk over any issues I'm having . She is my lifeline and always knows exactly what to say and gives great advice . Having someone just to talk too is sometimes a good thing and can help you rationalise situations . It sounds like it's going to be a battle now with neighbours unless it's nipped in the bud quickly . Although iv not experienced your circumstances I have had family issues and my cpn has spoke to family and explained my MH issues and been an advocate for me when iv not felt strong enough to deal with stuff . Would this be an option for you ? Having your cpn ( if you have one ) speak to neighbours ?

chantana · 04/08/2017 18:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SpareChangeDownTheSofa · 04/08/2017 18:59

As other people have said, its just a case of logging with the police and council now until something is done. Record things if you can for sure.

sparkling My NDN moved the cot in the end, she was very apologetic, the little girl still has her plastic comfort toy though, it still makes me laugh Grin

SpareChangeDownTheSofa · 04/08/2017 19:00

Spam reported.

Original poster
Governoress86 · 04/08/2017 19:01

Yes I have a cpn and she is aware of the issues and has written a report to the council. But they don't seem to be doing anything. I'm waiting for a call back from my cpn. It's dragging me down. I'm not bothered about his kids crying or anything, that's kids.I have kids. But it's the fifth time i asked and they have said yes they would move the cot away from the wall

OP posts:
rosietosey · 04/08/2017 19:17

I don't know the full story really.

But if a neighbour explained a situation like this to me, I would move heaven and earth if it were possible to reduce any impact as outlined.

However, I doubt I would leave a child banging a wall in my own house at any time, not to mention the early hours either. There is something wrong with that too. Do gp and/or parent not hear the child making a racket at that hour?

Original poster
Governoress86 · 04/08/2017 19:28

The elderly lady is hard of hearing. But the father of the kids just lets them get on with it. I think he struggles with them. They said to me I'm being petty and I would favo r my child and h e is going to favour his children to which i replied and said it is not about favouring children at all because of my child was doing the same i would rectify it asap to which she said we'll the children are only 1 and 3 and they don't know any better which i said i agree but the parent should take it upon themselves to sort it out.

I m starting to think I am being unreasonable because it feels like i have asked them to do the impossible.

OP posts:
llangennith · 04/08/2017 19:34

10greenapples that's what you picked up in that post??? Really???
You're probably the neighbour from hell too.

MissBabbs · 04/08/2017 19:40

I would just battle on OP.

I'm pretty sure they will move on to some other 'crisis' in their lives to fuss and flap about and will leave you alone before too long.

The elderly neighbour is probably not too happy to have 3 others invading her space. Perhaps they'll move on soon.

10greenapples · 04/08/2017 19:44

No I am not, infact I was terrorised by my neighbours for years (ime the police and council do nothing) but I actually didn't do anything wrong, I think the op was wrong asking them to move the bed.

FretYeNotAllIsShiny · 04/08/2017 19:48

You have my sympathies, The family who used to live next door had a child who rocked in his sleep, making the bed bang against the wall for half hour or more at a time. I reckon it didn't make much noise on their side, but it woke every person up on ours. I did mention it, and they did move the bed, but it didn't go down well. I was very glad when they moved. Not because of the bed thing, but all the other hassles their kids brought.

Gooseberrycrumble4 · 04/08/2017 19:55

They sound very selfish. It's such a small change to make