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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU for asking my neighbour if her grandson could move his daughters bed away from our side of the wall.

98 replies

Governoress86 · 04/08/2017 18:21

Hello all

I have an elderly neighbour who i got on with for years and then in January her grandson moved i n with his 2 children.

No his youngest daughters bed is right next to our wall and i have anxiety and depression, ptsd,off and panic attacks. My daughter also has medical issues with having fits if she doesn't get enough sleep.

My neighbours grandsons daughter has a tendency at 4in the morning to kick and bang her bottle on the wall and it has become an issue where it is waking me and my daughter up.

AIBU that because I have asked if it could be possible for the grandson to !I've his daughters bed away from the wall as they know about my medical issues and my daughters, she has now fallen out with me!

Not only has she fallen out with me but she has deliberately damaged my fence which i have on film. I heard her telling people in our street about my mental health issues and slagging me of and is now saying stuff to my 7 year old daughter. Her grandson keeps intimidating me aswel.

So it all had become too much for me that I had to phone the council which said she would have a word with her and told me to phone the police about my fence which i did and they have logged the incident, but since I have done this it has become worse. I'm getting abuse thrown at me, saying I'm not got to be a mother with my mental health issues and i should be locked up.

And now I vs having an impact on my health and the council don't seem to be doing anything and I just don't know what to do.

Sorry for the long post

Many thanks

OP posts:

Juicyfruitloop · 05/08/2017 21:41

If you love the area I'd hold out, he will probably get a place soon. Lessons learnt with trusting your neighbours with personal medical information for the future. Keep notes and recording, try ear plugs, hopefully it will end soon.

crazywriter · 05/08/2017 21:49

No advice but YANBU to ask politely. We purposely set up DDs room to avoid the party wall with the neighbour. So we have the smaller room but it's worth it because both our girls move around loads in their sleep and bash into the wall.

They could have politely said no if they couldn't. Tabu for everything they've done since. Good luck OP.

Original poster

Governoress86 · 05/08/2017 21:56

In at my wits end today. The grandson has gone out and left his children with his grandma who is in no for state to look after 2 young children as she is deaf and has tendencies to fall a lot. The children are banging the wall and have some my daughter up. The area is lovely but it's got to the point now where we are having to move as he won't have a council house he is saving to buy a house and he told someone who we know that he is in no rush to move

OP posts:

Coconutspongexo · 05/08/2017 22:15

10 you're not understanding it's not just the OPs health the daughter can have seizures due to lack of sleep, are you aware how dangerous seizures can be? Or are you just trying to see how many people will bite to today's posts by you

pinkdonkey · 05/08/2017 22:20

Neighbour noise is hell, and not easy to sort. We jumped through all the council and police hoops for over 12 months, council sending people out to independantly witness the noise at night, court orders against neighbours, the works to finaĺy be told by the council that because he was such a bad neighbour they couldn't move him as it would just move to problem to somewhere else and wouldn't be fair on his new neighbours. DH also has mental health problems exacerbated by lack of sleep. We moved in the end and now have lovely quiet neighbours, I sometimes worry we are the noisey ones.

10greenapples · 05/08/2017 22:23

Have you ever lived in a flat op?? I have children above me banging the floor all the time. I suck it up though cos well what else is there to do? Try to get them evicted?

Coconutspongexo · 05/08/2017 22:25

Ffs 10apples you appear to be the most ignorant poster!

Original poster

Governoress86 · 05/08/2017 22:28

Yes I have lived in a flat 10 and yes children were above me but they were not banging at stupid times of the night.

OP posts:

Willow2017 · 05/08/2017 22:58

What are you getting out of being a GF? Are you sitting giggling at your pretend inability to understand that op' s daughter has a serious medical condition made worse by lack of sleep or are you really unable to distinguish between normal kids noise and constant banging on your bedroom wall for hours every night?

If you have nothing sensible to add you should just move on to another thread to give someone else the benefit of your ignorance?

Original poster

Governoress86 · 05/08/2017 23:06

Well said willow2017.

I don't get why 10Apple's cannot comprehend what I am trying to say. Am I speaking another language to her.

OP posts:

10greenapples · 05/08/2017 23:33

You have just said the noise was too much!! So it is a child's noise your complaining about.

PrimalLass · 05/08/2017 23:46

Children are not allowed to make noise all night just because they are children.

10greenapples · 05/08/2017 23:54

Yes they are!! If my baby had colic and cried all night do you think the council would evict me? No Ofcourse not. You can't complain about noise made by children, especially babies.

PrimalLass · 05/08/2017 23:55

You really can if the parents are doing nothing about it.

PrimalLass · 05/08/2017 23:55

Colic is a medical issue. Battering a bottle off a wall is not.

PenelopeFlintstone · 06/08/2017 00:04

OP - don't bother reading 10GA's posts. Just scroll straight past. And of course YANBU - your neighbour is a dick.

Willow2017 · 06/08/2017 00:21

WTAF has colic to do with anything?

Get a grip and RTFT 10, otherwise go away and bother someone else with your inability to comprehend a simple scenario.

Mittens1969 · 06/08/2017 00:44

I think greenapples is being deliberately provocative. It's obvious the OP's neighbours are definitely harassing her, which is totally unwarranted. I think she's made assumptions based on her understanding of mental health issues. The comparison with complaints about bin collections, how can that ever be reasonable?

Coconutspongexo · 06/08/2017 06:28

10 you can't comprehend that the noise can seriously damage OPs daughters health it's not a hard concept to grasp but you never admit when you're wrong anyway. You go out of your way to disagree with everyone it's sad for a fully grown woman

Sittingonthefence83 · 06/08/2017 09:33

This is an awful situation for you OP, based on how they've reacted (basically slander and criminal damage) to a simple request I would not have any qualms in trying to get them evicted. If that would be any easier for you than trying to get moved yourself?

Original poster

Governoress86 · 06/08/2017 09:45

We have had another sleepless night again. I just don't see why the father would not stop her banging the wall he surely heard it through the baby monitors. I'm barely functioning this morning!

OP posts:

Juicyfruitloop · 06/08/2017 11:46

Seen your updates today if he has no intention of moving soon. If you can possibly move I would. Your home is supposed to be your haven. It is not worth the stress. I hope it works out for you.

Original poster

Governoress86 · 06/08/2017 12:03

Thank you juicyfruitloop. Yes. I think it is best i move now. Just waiting for my application with the council to be approved.

OP posts:

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