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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU for asking my neighbour if her grandson could move his daughters bed away from our side of the wall.

98 replies

Governoress86 · 04/08/2017 18:21

Hello all

I have an elderly neighbour who i got on with for years and then in January her grandson moved i n with his 2 children.

No his youngest daughters bed is right next to our wall and i have anxiety and depression, ptsd,off and panic attacks. My daughter also has medical issues with having fits if she doesn't get enough sleep.

My neighbours grandsons daughter has a tendency at 4in the morning to kick and bang her bottle on the wall and it has become an issue where it is waking me and my daughter up.

AIBU that because I have asked if it could be possible for the grandson to !I've his daughters bed away from the wall as they know about my medical issues and my daughters, she has now fallen out with me!

Not only has she fallen out with me but she has deliberately damaged my fence which i have on film. I heard her telling people in our street about my mental health issues and slagging me of and is now saying stuff to my 7 year old daughter. Her grandson keeps intimidating me aswel.

So it all had become too much for me that I had to phone the council which said she would have a word with her and told me to phone the police about my fence which i did and they have logged the incident, but since I have done this it has become worse. I'm getting abuse thrown at me, saying I'm not got to be a mother with my mental health issues and i should be locked up.

And now I vs having an impact on my health and the council don't seem to be doing anything and I just don't know what to do.

Sorry for the long post

Many thanks

OP posts:

Original poster

Governoress86 · 05/08/2017 15:05

For God's sake 10greenapple s in not complaining of children crying or tantrumming at all why are you not getting it.

I have switched my dd room.

I Dont Know If She Is Intimidated By Him But If She Was Or Had Any Problems She Knows She Can Always Talk To Me But The Reaction She Has Taken With Me Rather Than Talking To Me Is Upsetting

OP posts:

BewareOfDragons · 05/08/2017 15:05

You were not unreasonable to ask. If it could be sorted easily, it should be. They are cunts to start a campaign of abuse, destruction, and slander.

Stay on the council and call the police every time they destroy something or threaten you or your children.

Beebee7 · 05/08/2017 15:15

@Governoness86

For God's sake 10greenapple s in not complaining of children crying or tantrumming at all why are you not getting it.

Funny how @10greenapples isn't 'getting it' and isn't taking any notice of what you are saying. On her thread yesterday about her missing a doctor's appointment, she was getting pissed off with people who were not 'getting' what she was saying.

Funny that!

10greenapples · 05/08/2017 15:21

I'm entitled to my opinion! Sorry you should have said in your post if you only want people to reply if they agree with you.

Glumglowworm · 05/08/2017 15:23

Yanbu to ask. If it would cause a problem to move it they are not BU to refuse to move it. However they are definitely BU to start a campaign of harrassment against you over it.

Nothing you've done justifies their response. The proportionate level of annoyance would be to have a whinge to a mate or on MN that their neighbour wants them to rearrange furniture and for the man to parent his child but most people I think would oblige if they could.

There's no excuse for their behaviour towards you.

Sirzy · 05/08/2017 15:29

If it would cause problems to move it then they should have firstly politely explained that and secondly took some efforts to stop the problem (removing the bottle at first sign of banging would be a start!)

MeltorPeltor · 05/08/2017 15:32

I'd be concerned about a child banging a wall for three hours in the middle of the night, why isn't an adult attending to it?

Possibly one for social services, it's sounds as if they can't cope and have lashed out at you.

fairypuff · 05/08/2017 15:35

YANBU. I would be banging back on the wall until it stops but then I'm a monster not very reasonable if I don't get enough sleep!

I hope the council have your back on this one as they sound like right nutters to be behaving like that towards you OP.

10greenapples · 05/08/2017 15:37

Now a referral to ss?! Wow you are seriously out to get them.. Sounds like it's the op whose the problem tbh. Calling ss on them is extreme and a completely waste of ss time.

ProudAS · 05/08/2017 15:49

Yes 10Greenapples the OP does have a problem - it's a genuine medical condition which is aggravated by the noise and concern about her own DC's health.

She needs a practical solution so that she and her DC can function (anxiety and epilepsy can both be very debilitating). She does not need to be told 'where to go'.

10greenapples · 05/08/2017 15:54

My sister neighbour has mental health and complained about the way my sister takes in her bins! The council told her where to go. Which I suspect will happen in this case aswell.

Sirzy · 05/08/2017 15:56

Everybody has mental health by the way....

But surely it doesn't take a genius to realise that there is a massive difference between being kept awake for 3 hours a night by a neighbours noise and the noise of bringing in a bin.

Willow2017 · 05/08/2017 16:18

Wow some people just appear to like deliberately NOT reading what op has said and making it up as they go along.

Good luck op they are horrible people I hope you get support to deal with them and hopefully get a house move soon.

PosiePootlePerkins · 05/08/2017 16:20

Dear lord what is happening on MN? It seems almost every thread I click on has some GF stirring the shit. OP has posted for support and advice. 10greenapples go away if you have nothing helpful to add. Its a miracle anyone even dares ask for help on MN.

SnarkOfTheThunderPants · 05/08/2017 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 05/08/2017 16:33

Can you really not see the difference between the bin issue, and the wall issue apples? Not that stupid, surely?

crazykitten20 · 05/08/2017 16:43

I think I'd have tried making changes to my own room/s layout before asking my neighbour to change their layout. You're the one with the problem, not your neighbour.

Saying that.... they're a bit out there to react as they have, if you asked pleasantly. A straightforward 'no it won't work because the child will fall out of bed' or whatever the reason - would have sufficed.

Original poster

Governoress86 · 05/08/2017 16:48

I have made changes to my room. I have had to swap rooms with my daughter just so it is not affecting her so much. I asked pleasantly. The child is in a cot so she would not fall out the bed, they can move the child's bed round as i have seen the room. If they have just said no sorry it can't be done that would be fine but it's the way they are behaving now. I would never dream of doing this to someone

OP posts:

10greenapples · 05/08/2017 18:18

If it's as loud as you claim it is then chances are you will hear it even if they did move it.

Original poster

Governoress86 · 05/08/2017 18:29

Trust me it is loud all i asked was of it could be possible to move the cot away from the wall so she could not smash her bottle of the wall. It does not bother me about crying or if she was having a tantrum, that cannot be helped but this can

OP posts:

Cheby · 05/08/2017 18:58

YANBU OP. The father could solve it, really simply, by getting the fuck out of bed himself and stopping the child banging on the wall. He should be taking the child into his room, or the living room until they are asleep again or have calmed down. Getting up in the night is hard work, but it's a basic element of parenting and we all have to get on and do it.

Someone upthread mentioned SS, I would ring them, if a child next door was very obviously awake for 3 hours during the night, every night, and being ignored. Children make noise and we need to accept that. Nobody needs to accept banging on the bloody wall for hours during the night.

OP, I hope it gets sorted for you.

Willow2017 · 05/08/2017 19:02

10
If they moved the cot she couldn't bang the bottle on ops bedroom wall could She? Why are you being so bloody determined to undermine everything op says and still not understand the problem.
Why are you fixated on the baby crying when that isnt the issue?

I am sure you would be driven mad by a baby banging a bottle on YOUR bedroom wall for 3 hours at a time.

Original poster

Governoress86 · 05/08/2017 19:06

I agree children make noise and that's apart of life. It's affecting my dd s health and started to affect her schooling, being to tired in the morning, fitting etc. If it was the other way round i would be resolving it asap.

OP posts:

Spikeyball · 05/08/2017 19:10

The wall banging will sound louder to the OP than it will to the neighbours 10greenapples. We have a wall banger/kicker (hands and feet not objects) and we had to put padding up because it is very noisy being on the other side of the wall to it.

Original poster

Governoress86 · 05/08/2017 21:12

I offered to pay for padding on their side of the wall but the answer i got was i was being ridiculous. I would of been happy to pay for that.

OP posts:

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