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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Doctor's appointment

537 replies

10greenapples · 04/08/2017 12:03

I missed a drs appointment for my dd as I just wasn't going to make it on time. Anyway today I recieved a letter which says if one more appointment is missed she won't be allowed another one for 6 months! We can cancel an appointment but need to give an hours notice. So we will only be seen at the walk in if another is missed which is 8am-11am and a 2 hour wait. Aibu in thinking this seems pretty harsh?!

OP posts:
MommaGee · 04/08/2017 13:24

cardibach ours states the same but is never on time. You have to log on the touchscreen on arrival and if its more than 15 minutes past your appt it won't let you. Then you have to go to the desk and see if they'll fit you in.
If my DC was ill I would think it worth a try (on bus heading back from doctors with DS where I was bang on time but 20 minutes late to be seen)

BewareOfDragons · 04/08/2017 13:29

At the end of the day, it's still on you to let them know. Perhaps you need to leave some emergency credit on your phone so you can phone people when emergencies like this (stuck in traffic/missing appointment) come up.

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 04/08/2017 13:29

But why not phone as soon as you got home from the pharmacy to explain about the road closure and whatever and apologise? That's just good manners in any circumstance.

Just because something is 'free' doesn't mean it deserves less consideration - the opposite in fact because it's not free at all.

Spikeyball · 04/08/2017 13:29

We've been late a few times (have a child who is difficult to get to the doctors) and he always gets seen. They just shuffle everyone along.

Cakeorchocolate · 04/08/2017 13:31

Did you know about the 1 hour notice to cancel prior to receiving this letter?
If not stop using it as an excuse not to have called.

It is better to let them know even if 10 minutes before than not all. Then instead of a gp waiting for you a few minutes they can move on with their appointments, maybe pee, drink something or write a referral for another patient or any of 10 other things they probably need to do at any time.

If you'd bothered to find a way to call to let them know you were running late they might have been able to accommodate this somehow.

If you're not happy with what they've said, register your daughter at a different practice.

Cakeorchocolate · 04/08/2017 13:32

What paddling said too.

Original poster
10greenapples · 04/08/2017 13:33

No I didn't know, I rarely see the GP. As I said my surgery has signs up telling people if they are later than 15 minutes they won't be seen. Not sure why people are saying we would still be seen? My surgery is clearly pretty strict.

OP posts:
trappedinsuburbia · 04/08/2017 13:36

I was really late for an emergency appointment due to horrendous weekend roadworks I had forgotten about, it was quite a distance I had to travel. I texted my mum to call them while i was stationary, they were really very nice and told me to continue to make my way up and slotted my dd in when we arrived.
I think if you had called even after you got back home and explained then you might not have gotten the letter.

PastaOfMuppets · 04/08/2017 13:36

You got stuck in traffic so couldn't call as soon as you realised you'd be late,
You didn't bother to go home to call and explain or apologise because the only reason you'd make contact is to make/reschedule an appt and you didn't want to bother explaining/apologising just to be decent,
You sought medical treatment at the pharmacy so in the end didn't need the doctor,
You only decided to go to the pharmacy because your sister suggester it,
You had no credit so couldn't call the doctor and chose not to go home to use your landline - so how did you get this advice from your sister while you were still out?
If you in fact did return home after getting stuck in traffic, why didn't you bother even letting the doctor know out of courtesy you wouldn't turn up? Even though you couldn't be seen anyway?
Interested in what you actually did because it's odd to me you couldn't be courteous to the doctor but could somehow chat with your sister?

SilverBirchTree · 04/08/2017 13:40

But you did know you had missed the appointment, and chose not to arrive at the office to apologise or call on your landline or email with your wifi afterwards. If you had, they probably wouldn't have put you on their radar for a warning.

I have a friend who doesn't use a mobile phone, and she leaves for appointments about 30m earlier than I would because she knows she can't cancel or give updates on her whereabouts while she is on the go.

If you can't keep appointments, you can wait for a walk in visit. Just like you made doctors and other sick people wait because of you! Sounds extremely fair to me, unless you honestly think your time is more valuable than any of theirs.

MaximaDeWit · 04/08/2017 13:42

OP, even if you thought you wouldn't be seen you should have continued onto the GP and explained face to face, or called then when you got home or to your sisters. This is what most people would have done and GP receptionists being reasonable people they would have ensured you didn't get sent that letter. You didn't bother so you got a letter. If you don't want it to happen again then let the surgery know next time

SilverBirchTree · 04/08/2017 13:43

And think about putting some emergency credit on your phone, this can't be the first time you've gotten yourself into trouble because you couldn't make a phone call

Original poster
10greenapples · 04/08/2017 13:43

I spoke with my sister on what's app! She's away at the moment on holiday though so couldn't make the call for me. Why would I return home to call them? I had other stuff to do aswell I didn't just literally leave my house to go to the appointment.

OP posts:
Original poster
10greenapples · 04/08/2017 13:45

Please give me another example of where you can "get yourself in trouble" for not being able to make a phone call?! Don't be ridiculous. As a pp said, they didn't have mobiles for alot of people growing up and people managed! so don't make me laugh.

OP posts:
paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 04/08/2017 13:47

Blimey OP...basic good manners, of the kind as parents we are supposed to be teaching our children, dictate that when you DID get home you should call, explain, apologise. Manners 101.

Assume you did make it home sometime and have access to some form of communication in between missing the appointment and getting a letter in the post.

MaximaDeWit · 04/08/2017 13:47

Stop making bloody excuses!

I had other stuff to do aswell I didn't just literally leave my house to go to the appointment.

That was your call to make and the direct result of this was that you fucked off the GP surgery by not showing up for an appointment and they are warning you not to do it again

SilverBirchTree · 04/08/2017 13:49

If you had what's app, you had internet and could have emailed reception to let them know beforehand (regardless of whether it was less than an hour to go- so they could free up your slot) or afterwards to apologise for missing the appointment.

People without phones should leave more time to get to appointments.

JessicaEccles · 04/08/2017 13:52

I had other stuff to do aswell

My old counselling tutor used to say that if you give people something for free, they don't appreciate it and never turn up.... I'm beginning to think he was right..

Blackadderspants · 04/08/2017 13:52

why would I return home to call them? I had other stuff to do aswell

THIS says it all. You were inconsiderate and rude not to telephone and explain why you didn't attend. I am not surprised you got a letter with that can't be arsed attitude.

Liiinoo · 04/08/2017 13:52

You were unreasonable not to ring and explain/apologise. You were unreasonable to make a GP appointment for something that a pharmacy could sort out. You are unreasonable to get annoyed about a perfectly reasonable standard letter.

Kailoer · 04/08/2017 13:53

YABU

You should have called them to let them know, someone else could have had the appointment even if it was just 15 mins warning you could have given.

I don't think they were harsh at all, if anything they've set out more than reasonable restrictions (do it again and we'll not offer apt for 6 months, cancel with an hour's notice - v fair!).

stop saying it wouldn't have helped if you'd only let them know a few mins later by phoning from the pharmacy, you should have called, you didn't, they've been more than reasonable by calling you out on it, stop minimising the impact you've had on the surgery (nurse/GP/etc time) and downplaying your ability to control the factors leading into this.

it's your responsibility to get yourself there on time and if unfortunate events like once-in-a-blue-moon traffic delays you, you let them know as soon as you can so that other service users might be able to use the service instead.

you should have done what you could do ensure that happened, but you didn't [for one of a million reasons you keep pulling out of the air to absolve you from any responsibility]

Own the problem yourself and stop making excuses OP.

RhubardGin · 04/08/2017 13:54

For future OP you should go to the pharmacy and get advice before making an appointment.

Obviously if it's nothing life threatening!

Coughs/colds/headaches/sore throat etc I always go to the pharmacy first.

Smile
ilovesooty · 04/08/2017 13:54

You seem incredibly self absorbed and ill mannered in your responses. You really don't realise that contacting the surgery was a priority and just basic decency?

abigcupoffuckyou · 04/08/2017 13:55

If you had whatsapp you could have used it to make the call.

You clearly didn't need to go anyway.

Original poster
10greenapples · 04/08/2017 13:56

All gp appointments are not threatening.

OP posts: