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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Doctor's appointment

537 replies

10greenapples · 04/08/2017 12:03

I missed a drs appointment for my dd as I just wasn't going to make it on time. Anyway today I recieved a letter which says if one more appointment is missed she won't be allowed another one for 6 months! We can cancel an appointment but need to give an hours notice. So we will only be seen at the walk in if another is missed which is 8am-11am and a 2 hour wait. Aibu in thinking this seems pretty harsh?!

OP posts:
SilverBirchTree · 04/08/2017 12:45

YABU. It was really rude of you to not let them know you were going to attend.

If you can afford the internet connection to whine about the consequences of your rudeness, then you can afford the pittance it would have cost to ring them on your mobile to apologise and explain that you were stuck in traffic.

SoupDragon · 04/08/2017 12:45

So, at no point did you call or turn up late to say you couldn't make it and to explain and apologise?? Confused

Allthebestnamesareused · 04/08/2017 12:46

Even if you missed it and were 15 minutes late perhaps if you had been polite enough to call, explain what had happened and apologised you might not be in this position now.

It is quite usual where there is a history of missed appointments and no explanations/apologies for this to happen.

Next time call - whatever the time - apologise.

Each missed appointment means someone else could have been seen and costs the NHS.

AaoograhaHoa · 04/08/2017 12:46

You should have rung, even if you were "inside" the hour cut off. It at least would have allowed the GP to perhaps use the time for emails or telephone triage.

They may even have been able to waive the warning if you had shown consideration.

Put it this way - if you were meeting a friend or family and running late, you would ring, not just decide you weren't going to make it on time so not turn up.

YABU - and rude.

MFR3 · 04/08/2017 12:47

Is it just not basic common courtesy to call any appointment to say you won't make it, regardless of the outcome for you.

MommaGee · 04/08/2017 12:47

I didn't think kit was a thing and it concerns me that if a child is already vulnerable with a parent routinely making appointments and not turning up, there attitude is to ban you, not escalate.
I'm not saying OP's DD is vulnerable btw

And OP you ABU to make an appointment and then not bother to go. You were clearly en route to get stuck in traffic. You didn't turn around and just go home so you clearly battled through the traffic. If you'd turned up and explained they may have had a cancellation to squeeze you in. Most surgeries will try and accommodate a child. If I'm late I call and they always say just come in anyway. I get you don't have a mobile to use but if you'd gone on they may have seen her, at least would have known why you didn't turn up and you probably wouldn't have got the letter

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 04/08/2017 12:48

yABU.

Telling them even an hour in advance means they can see someone last minute or squeeze in a phone consultation.

Original poster
10greenapples · 04/08/2017 12:50

My internet and landline is paid for monthly. So I have a landline why am I going to top up my mobile aswell. £5 may be "pittance" to some but it's a lot when you don't have it.

OP posts:
IdentifiesAsYoda · 04/08/2017 12:51

MommaGee

She can still go to the walk-in clinic. I assume this is part of the GP surgery?

I took the OP to mean that she would not be struck off the surgery list, but she'd be unable to make ahead-of-time appointments.

In other words: you've wasted our time, without explanation, so we'll waste yours

BusterTheBulldog · 04/08/2017 12:51

Can't see why you wouldn't have phoned either when you knew you'd be late (doesn't matter if less than an hour-it at least gives them the chance to give to someone helse or even accommodate you) or after when at home. It really is just polite!

AaoograhaHoa · 04/08/2017 12:51

Also...

Kikibo - "I agree that missing appointments just because you can't be bothered is plain rude but if there is a genuine reason, you shouldn't be told off"

BUT if OP didn't ring (at any point), how on earth were surgery meant to know her circumstances fell under "a genuine reason"?!?!?

Slimthistime · 04/08/2017 12:51

OP are you able to have PAYG on your phone or something?

the GP might have held the appointment for you if you had been able to call.

They have said "if" another appointment is missed so they are not penalising you right away. Btw I know it's difficult, I have to be at the doctor a lot for a number of reasons and I try to make sure I get there half an hour early. If I was ever late, I'd still go in case they could squeeze me in at the end, or in case they were running early because of me being late!

PassiveAggressiveFloofiness · 04/08/2017 12:52

I think OPs like this are actually some Tory probably Jeremy Hunt sitting on their MacBook somewhere and chortling as everyone agrees that OP is the reason why the NHS is on its knees.

Actually the terrible under funding and budget cuts are the main reasons why the NHS is on its knees, but no shows are rude and irresponsible.

IdentifiesAsYoda · 04/08/2017 12:53

PassiveAgressive

I agree with your post actually. I would hate people to think that I think missed appts are the reason the NHS is on its knees

It doesn't help though

Slimthistime · 04/08/2017 12:54

sorry I missed your post re internet and landline

I think mobile credit is more important than landline credit as you can use your mobile anywhere.

Pigface1 · 04/08/2017 12:54

mommagee she's still allowed to go to the walk-in clinic, there's just then obviously a longer wait, which the OP presumably doesn't fancy. She isn't banned.

RhubardGin · 04/08/2017 12:54

Why do you have a mobile phone if you can't afford to top it up?

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 04/08/2017 12:55

YABU.

Missed appointments costs the NHS huge amounts of money.

SilverBirchTree · 04/08/2017 12:56

OP- a phone call does not cost £5...

AaoograhaHoa · 04/08/2017 12:58

OP - you keep saying you don't have a mobile, so therefore are excused from getting in touch.

I would say - I know other people (mainly older) who do not have phones, so they pre-plan, and for example if heading out to the doctors, will ring the surgery as they are leaving (from their landline) to let them know they are on their way, and ring as soon as theya re able to from a landline if there is any issue. Then there is communication and a clear expectations.

In other words, as them not having a mobile isn't the surgeries fault they (the mobile-less individuals) take responsibility to make sure they find ways to mitigate and pre-plan.

Sounds to me that you feel that not having a phone allows you lee-way for not acting responsibly. I wouldn't be at all surprised if you do this type of ting all the time - not just this once with the GP.

LonginesPrime · 04/08/2017 12:59

OP, you didn't turn up to a GP appointment you booked. They have said that if it happens again you will have to get in line at the walk-in centre like the hundreds of other people who didn't manage to get an appointment that week.

You're not being denied medical care (which would BU), you're just being told you can't keep making appointments you don't turn up to.

So no, I don't think that's harsh at all.

Catinthecorner · 04/08/2017 13:00

I'm currently in the states. Almost all medical providers insist on you arriving at least 15 minutes early. It's mostly to give them time to check insurance etc, but it means they generally have two or three patients waiting per doctor/nurseso if someone does call running late they just switch the running order.

A lot also charge you for missed/cancelled appointments without 25 hours notice (though there is flex in the system for emergencies and whatnot). Some insurance companies won't pay for the missed slot. It does concentrate the mind on either being early or contacting someone if there's a problem when a $200 bill is a stake

DandySeaLioness · 04/08/2017 13:01

with my GP if any member of your household misses 2 appointments the whole family gets crossed off the patients' list.

Miserylovescompany2 · 04/08/2017 13:01

"They won't see you if your later than 15 minutes. There's signs up telling you that. So I wasn't going to waste my time. Me explaining wouldn't make a difference, they still wouldn't see us."

Nothing stopped you from phoning once you'd returned home though - an appointment has been wasted as has a GP's time. It's common curtesy to phone - so yes YABU

If her problem was addressed by a pharmacist then the initial appointment wasn't really required. Was it?

Lunde · 04/08/2017 13:01

It's really bad to to even call - if you had called they may have been able to shuffle the list and see someone who had got there early and fitted you in later. Or the doctor could have done another job instead of sitting there waiting for you.

I live in Sweden and we have to pay for missed appointments - £35.

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