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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Doctor's appointment

537 replies

10greenapples · 04/08/2017 12:03

I missed a drs appointment for my dd as I just wasn't going to make it on time. Anyway today I recieved a letter which says if one more appointment is missed she won't be allowed another one for 6 months! We can cancel an appointment but need to give an hours notice. So we will only be seen at the walk in if another is missed which is 8am-11am and a 2 hour wait. Aibu in thinking this seems pretty harsh?!

OP posts:
ThamesOctopus · 04/08/2017 13:02

I think that the fact you are worried about missing another means that you have a problem with timings. If you aren't going to miss another than there's no issue really with their policy. If it really was a one off, then it's not going to be an issue again.

Fully support their policy, GP appointments should be treated with respect.

Original poster
10greenapples · 04/08/2017 13:02

People call me on it and I can use the internet via wifi at home and out and about. However £5 minimum top up to make 1 phone call no I couldn't afford.

OP posts:
supermangotnothingonme · 04/08/2017 13:03

Sorry op Yabu. I once missed a dentist appointment as my mum was rushed to hospital and I was in a&e with her all night. Appointment was at 9am and it completely went out of my head. I rung up and apologised later that day
. They booked me a new appointment but did say if I missed more appointments they would have to take me off as a patient as it's policy . I understood. These things happen but basic manners and giving an explanation go a long way.

MommaGee · 04/08/2017 13:03

She can still go to the walk-in clinic. I assume this is part of the GP surgery? ours isn't. In no way linked. So whilst she's off the list with GP for 6 months a parent who is already half assed about taking their kid in definitely won't travel across town to sit about for hrs. It was just a side thought, ignore my musings

Original poster
10greenapples · 04/08/2017 13:03

I'm not worried I'm going to miss another, I hardly see the gp. But I still think it's harsh as anything can come up making you miss an appointment. It's not always timing is it.

OP posts:
Flossy1978 · 04/08/2017 13:04

No money, 5 pounds to top your phone up, but money to run a car?

Sorry, you should have called. Doesn't matter if you weren't going to make it. Even if it was after the appointment. Then yoy wouldn't have gotten a letter most probably.

You should move to a country with no NHS. You'd be in for a rude awakening.

abigcupoffuckyou · 04/08/2017 13:04

If you didn't bother to go to the appointment because of traffic you clearly didn't need it in the first place. YABU for taking an appointment you didn't need, YABU for not calling to apologise, and YABU for making excuses.

MommaGee · 04/08/2017 13:05

People call me on it and I can use the internet via wifi at home and out and about. However £5 minimum top up to make 1 phone call no I couldn't afford and that's fair enough. But good manner would be to call them once you were with a landline.

As an aside, I hate being out with the DS without a phone in case something happens. It might be worth putting what you can aside each week until you cab afford a £5 top up to only use in an emergency

IdentifiesAsYoda · 04/08/2017 13:06

It's not harsh, for the reasons given

(PS. some of us grew up in a time when there were no mobiles)

harleysmammy · 04/08/2017 13:06

Why would you not give them a quick 2 minute call to cancel? I couldn't get my son an appointment at the doctors last week (he's 3 months old) and when I phoned it said on the automatic call that over 200 appointments were missed without warning and that's why no one can get an appointment anymore. YABVU

InglouriousBasterd · 04/08/2017 13:07

I had a 9.30 GP appointment the other week (clinic) - I had a call at 9 asking if I could make it in ASAP as nobody had shown up. I was actually round the corner so went straight in but I was stunned that not one person had attended their appointment. YABVU

StormTreader · 04/08/2017 13:07

"it clearly states in the letter that it needs to be cancelled an hour in advance so what good would calling after do?"

Well, it would have meant that all the people sat waiting in the GPs office while your appointment times ticks by could have gone in earlier. It wouldnt really have helped YOU, but it would have freed up a very limited shared resource.

ThamesOctopus · 04/08/2017 13:08

" But I still think it's harsh as anything can come up making you miss an appointment. "

No, that's not how it should be. It's really not a case of "anything can come up and make you miss an appointment".

It's a case of not having your priorities sorted, and not getting to the appointment in time with time to spare beforehand and not checking transport routes etc.

LonginesPrime · 04/08/2017 13:08

But I still think it's harsh as anything can come up making you miss an appointment. It's not always timing is it.

Look at it from the surgery's point of view, though - they don't know why you didn't turn up because you didn't tell them, so it's reasonable to assume that you just couldn't be bothered.

Hence the letter explaining that there will be consequences for abusing the system if it happens again.

AaoograhaHoa · 04/08/2017 13:09

It's not harsh! It's the policy - they haven't singled you out and it's not personal!! You missed an appointment. There is a consequence.

YABU, on all counts.

BeBeatrix · 04/08/2017 13:10

I can sympathise with not being able to afford the £5 to top up your phone.

With hindsight, it would have been better to stop off at a payphone (if you could find one!) or to at least turn up late, just to explain.

But the good news is that the surgery gives you a second chance. I'd advise leaving ridiculously early for any future appointments. For example, it takes me 25 minutes to drive to my hospital appointment. I allow over an hour to get there, and much longer in rush hour. Some things are too important to risk being late for.

However, you did post in AIBU, and there does appear to be a general consensus, which you're not really listening to. I do think that some posters have been harsh about the money, and I can see why you decided not to go when you were beyond the cut-off time, but maybe you need to accept that you didn't make the best choice?

SilverBirchTree · 04/08/2017 13:10

OP- If you genuinely wanted an answer from this board, I think you have it.

But by all means, continue to blame: traffic, mobile credit, the GP's policy etc for their perfectly reasonable response to your thoughtlessness.

Try living in a country where being low on funds means no medical care at all, instead of whining that you shouldn't have to spend £5 or wait for a walk in consultation. Hmm

Original poster
10greenapples · 04/08/2017 13:12

I have already said I accept I was unreasonable.

OP posts:
paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 04/08/2017 13:16

I'm sure if there'd been a non refundable charge attached more people would make it.

I sat in a large mostly empty doctors surgery yesterday. The number of names which appeared on the system for people who clearly weren't there was shocking (given I'd had to beg for an appointment for DD).

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 04/08/2017 13:20

" But I still think it's harsh as anything can come up making you miss an appointment. "

But you wouldn't have that attitude with a hair dressers appt,would you and expect to be able to re book if you hadn't even rung to explain why you were late?

Floggingmolly · 04/08/2017 13:20

You can cancel at one hours notice (ours is 24hrs) and you hadn't the manners to do it? Words fail me...

CastIronCookware · 04/08/2017 13:21

I still think it's harsh as anything can come up making you miss an appointment. It's not always timing is it.

Yup, life is harsh sometimes.

Things won't always go your way. You will sometimes experience a negative consequence even when you could do nothing to change the situation. That's life.

You missed a Drs appointment because of a traffic accident. Others may have missed a job interview. Or a funeral. Or a date. All have consequences. And none of the people affected could do anything about it.

You may have avoided a harsh letter from the GPs surgery by conducting yourself differently after the event. But the person who missed a funeral, or a job interview, is unlikely to be able to change the consequence no matter what they did afterwards. Consider yourself lucky that you had the choice!

cardibach · 04/08/2017 13:22

I'm. Outlying impressed (and a bit incredulous) that OPs GP won't see you if you are over 15 minutes late, implying their appointments run exactly to time. I don't go to the doc much, but I have had to take an elderly parent to a fair few appointments over the last couple of years and I could have been an hour late for most without it being noticed. I have never been seen within 15 minutes of my appointment time (not hyperbole).
Your GP is very efficient, OP. That'll explain the expectation that you are, too.
You should have phoned, and if your DC's issue was sorted by a pharmacist, you should have gone there instead of making an appointment anyway.

Original poster
10greenapples · 04/08/2017 13:22

I ddidnt know I would be late an HOUR in advance. Do people just not read? It was on the way there which was suppose to be a 20 minute bus ride

OP posts:
cardibach · 04/08/2017 13:22

Should start 'I'm mostly...'
I despair of this iPad.