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AIBU?

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Original poster

To do my make up in Pret?

272 replies

user1457213512 · 04/08/2017 07:55

I'm in Pret for my morning coffee. Didn't make the time to do my make up before I got the bus. Would I bu to do it here, discretely, in Pret? I was about to do so but then realised I've seen this classed as unreasonable on mm not before, and now I'm scared! Well not really, but if it's a massive faux paux I won't do it.

So as not to drip feed... All the benches outside in the high street are wet.

OP posts:
ChardonnaysPrettySister · 04/08/2017 09:44

I would find it just as tacky if a man did it, this is not a women's issue.
It's a personal space issue.

NoLoveofMine · 04/08/2017 09:44

I think, as I said previously, if men culturally applied make up in the numbers women do, or if it was something men as a group tended to do rather than women, I doubt there'd be any issues about it being applied in public.

GameOldBirdz · 04/08/2017 09:45

As PP said, if putting on make up was something men did (or rather were expected to do) regularly, then threads like this wouldn't exist because men putting on their make up (where, when, how) wouldn't be policed as heavily as it is for women.

Misogyny isn't about individual behaviour (e.g. make up) but rather about the ways in which men's behaviours in general (you can think of specific examples like spitting, swearing, man spreading, re-arranging their junk, going topless) are accepted but women's behaviours in general (putting on make up, breast feeding) aren't.

NoLoveofMine · 04/08/2017 09:45

Very much so GameOldBirdz.

NoLoveofMine · 04/08/2017 09:46

Or as a previous poster also said street harassment - something which is still seen as almost to be expected for women and girls.

GameOldBirdz · 04/08/2017 09:48

Of course it's a women's issue because society expects women to wear make up (not too much mind you, and don't let anyone see you applying it). It is about personal and public space as well but that is also fundamentally gendered as public space is often claimed by men.

I'm bowing out of this thread now because the lack of understanding misogyny is doing my head in and because the prim and properness of some posters is actually making me sad.

This thread has, however, made me even more determined to do my contouring loud and proud in public whenever I can so thanks Grin

peachgreen · 04/08/2017 09:50

This thread is nuts. I have just reapplied my lipstick in a cafe as a small act of defiance. Keep fighting the good fight, public make-up doers! (And please let me watch - I still can't get the hang of contouring...)

peachgreen · 04/08/2017 09:51

@GameOldBirdz I love it when women hold inherently misogynistic views but think that "well I wouldn't like X if a man did it either!" means that they're not being misogynistic.

missiondecision · 04/08/2017 09:51

'Tis rude because women have to collude that they wake up perfect.

PelorusJack · 04/08/2017 09:52

Of course it's a women's issue because society expects women to wear make up

Does it? Really? I'm in my fifties and have never worn make up and never felt any pressure to do so. The women who I know who wear make up do so because they want to. I thought it was female driven not male driven.

blackteasplease · 04/08/2017 09:53

Do it where you like. It's only make up.

NoLoveofMine · 04/08/2017 09:55

That's also an issue GameOldBirdz - women and girls are under so much pressure to apply make up yet even that is judged in so many ways - it must be the correct amount, not too much, must look "natural", must be applied in private. Women and girls are often made to feel our faces aren't acceptable to be viewed in public without make up but are also expected to ensure it's done perfectly before leaving the house. Make up in day to day life should be applied because the person doing it, man or woman, loves putting it on and having it on, no other reason.

There is clearly a pressure on women and girls to wear make up because the vast majority of people who do it are female. I saw something shared tens of thousands of times on social media only the other week from some boy explaining what made a "shit girl" (sic) and one of those was "not being able to blend her make up" - this is one of a number of messages girls receive from a young age and clearly does put pressure on when taken all together.

Tazerface · 04/08/2017 09:56

I'm sure you're well done and dusted by now OP, but fwiw I would and have.

I agree with those talking about misogynistic expectations laid on women.

ButterfliesandMoths · 04/08/2017 09:58

Do it 😁

Gah81 · 04/08/2017 10:01

Go for it! But be warned that I will be glancing over to see if I can pick up any tips for my own :)

Love seeing how other people do their makeup!

fruityb · 04/08/2017 10:01

God I'll put mine on anywhere - I frequently put lippy or gloss on while I'm just going about my business.

I actually enjoy watching people put make up on, it's fascinating! I would bat an eyelid quite honestly. If someone changed their knickers because they didn't have time in the middle of Pret I might have something to say but bloody hell, it's make up! Just don't spray or floof powder everywhere.

Gosh I never thought people felt like this about putting make up on in public - weird!

Nanny0gg · 04/08/2017 10:01

It's everywhere but as it's mainly men who perpetrate it then it's not seen as unreasonable.

For example?

Ohyesiam · 04/08/2017 10:02

This is interesting. I would have been too self conscious to do it myself, but have no problem with others doing it.

In what way do people think it's tacky? Too personal? Too self absorbed? Or something else

Nanny0gg · 04/08/2017 10:02

Does it? Really? I'm in my fifties and have never worn make up and never felt any pressure to do so. The women who I know who wear make up do so because they want to. I thought it was female driven not male driven.

Certainly is in my case.

Violetcharlotte · 04/08/2017 10:04

Honestly, just crack on and do your make up! Don't worry so much about what people think.

Floggingmolly · 04/08/2017 10:05

A man sitting shaving in the middle of other people eating would be equally revolting. If it's generally done in the bathroom; don't do it in the middle of a cafe.

fruityb · 04/08/2017 10:07

I never put my make up on in the bathroom!

EdmundCleverClogs · 04/08/2017 10:08

A man sitting shaving in the middle of other people eating would be equally revolting

How exactly is removing body hair and putting on lipstick and such even remotely comparable?

NoLoveofMine · 04/08/2017 10:08

When I first posted that I expected if men did it people wouldn't have an issue I expected shaving would be brought up. Shaving is different given it involves the removal of hair. I doubt anyone would be too keen on haircuts being given out in the middle of Pret.

ZaraW · 04/08/2017 10:09

It's tacky. I don't think it's about people being too prim or proper it's just having standards. If I don't have time to put make up on I don't wear it.