AIBU to think this is totally grim

[Pulluptothebumper]

My SIL is not short of a bob or two. She's late forties, no children and 6-figure bank balance. She's also as tight as a duck's arse.

During a chat, she said she her friend was popping over (she won't drive anywhere. Petrol costs money, ya know) to drop off some bras. I assumed her friend had bought them on line for her (she won't pay for internet at home nor will she buy/book anything on line with her card) and was delivering them to her. But, no! These were her friend's old, used bras that she was chucking out and that SIL had begged she give her as bras are too expensive to buy new.
I was horrified but SIL can't see anything wrong with wearing someone else's scabby old second-hand bra that's not even in her size! AIBU to think this is grim???

Fekkin bra-obsessed freaks on here.

Anybody remember too posh to wash? There was a stinky rich girl on there who wore her mates bras even though they were the wrong size

Second hand bras or most other second hand things aren't 'grim' at all. Some people are extremely precious and wasteful about such things. Far too much perfectly good usable stuff is thrown away these days.

However, it does sound like she is taking frugality too far. If I was in her situation, I would be looking to retire and start spending that money - maybe that's her plan? With no DCs I want my money to last until the end of my life and no more. There are no pockets in a shroud.

But why would you have secondhand clothes when you have a 6 figure bank account? What a sad life

I would just like to say that I would love it if someone gave me some second hand cloth nappies - they're really expensive and I'd appreciate it, not think it was grim

I don't think it's particularly grim, I have loads of barely worn bras which I found uncomfortable or didn't fit properly after wearing a few times. However I don't understand why she'd want to wear bras the wrong size! You can get basic bras in Asda or Primark for £4!

If you can, try and watch 'Still Game' as there's a character called Tam (Thomas) just like this.

It's brilliant isn't it Rut - "every penny's a prisoner".

Your interest in her personal business is more grim than a second bra.

Second hand bra

No idea why anyone would chose to wear ill-fitted bras, and second hand underwear or shoes, when you can buy them for nothing, but if she is happy about it.
I would judge if she was putting her children in second hand underwear, that's grim. Her own body, her choice.

Wasn't there a drive to collect old bras to send abroad a few years ago? Bras are expensive to make so we're going to (I think?) African countries for reuse there. They'll have been quality controlled and matched by size I imagine. So the theory of reusing bras is sound, this particular instance is a bit grim.

Actually thinking about it.
If she has hugh knockers a good bra can cost £50. She's very astute in that case.

Huge!! Not Hugh

Is there anyone out there who managed to watch an episode of Extreme Cheapskates with out feeling nauseous

It's a social enterprise too! I was junking something like this:
www.oxfam.org.uk/donate/donate-goods/what-happens-to-your-donation/inside-frip-ethique

Junking??? Thinking!!!

perhaps she hates shopping. a question for op..would you accept a second hand mattress?

A second hand mattress really is grim - they're full of skin mites, etc. It's not as if you can put a mattress in the washing machine and do a hot wash.

Unless they were worn when breastfeeding, they're not going to have had any more bodily fluids on than a top or a pair of jeans would have... I don't see the problem.

OP it's bloody weird how some people with stacks of cash are tight. I know a few people like this.

That is precisely how they get the 'stacks of cash'. By being tight.

My boyfriend is tight as arseholes and admits it. But he's got himself mortgage free and has managed to save a three figure sum to put towards his dream property, which he is in the process of buying.

Me, on the other hand have never had pot to piss in, and am always skint but I'm not frugal, far from it. However, some of his ways are starting to rub off on me and I now actually have savings for the first time in years. I will never be 'tight' but I do think a great deal more about how and where I spend money and yes, I do now look for bargains instead of just picking up what I want without thinking.

In fact I am sat here wearing a gorgeous pair of Fly of London sandals that I saw in the shop for £75 in the sale and really wanted, so bought off eBay this week for £9. I couldn't give a shit if someone else has worn them and the same would go for bras and any other item of clothing ... other than knickers.

A second hand mattress isn't grim either providing that it's not been pissed on and used with sheets. You don't sleep in contact with it and can vacuum most of the surface dust and mites etc off anyway.

I wouldn't do it myself, but I agree that bras are very expensive. The richer someone is, the more penny pinching they are I've found!

I wouldn't wear a second hand bra...no way! Though I don't find it especially disgusting.
I do think however that extreme tightness is an issue comparable to being a shopaholic...it's just the other end of the spectrum.

Could you sound any more bitter about your SIL's wealth?

Some people are just extremely frugal, she isn't hurting anyone, what's the problem?

How do you know they are 'scabby'? I have plenty of bras worn once and realised that they were either uncomfortable or only go with a particular outfit.

But why would you have secondhand clothes when you have a 6 figure bank account? What a sad life.

Indeed. Tight people like this irritate me. I see their tightness as a form of greed.