AIBU to think this is totally grim

[Pulluptothebumper]

My SIL is not short of a bob or two. She's late forties, no children and 6-figure bank balance. She's also as tight as a duck's arse.

During a chat, she said she her friend was popping over (she won't drive anywhere. Petrol costs money, ya know) to drop off some bras. I assumed her friend had bought them on line for her (she won't pay for internet at home nor will she buy/book anything on line with her card) and was delivering them to her. But, no! These were her friend's old, used bras that she was chucking out and that SIL had begged she give her as bras are too expensive to buy new.
I was horrified but SIL can't see anything wrong with wearing someone else's scabby old second-hand bra that's not even in her size! AIBU to think this is grim???

It'd be wrong to say "grim" as some people genuinely cannot afford anything else, but it'd definitely be something I wouldn't choose to do if I didn't absolutely have to.

Saying that, we may do well to take a leaf out of their books, there a fair few well off people in my family, some even Millionaires and they're just the same. One said very well off bloke is always asking when my DH is having a clothing clear out.

It's better for the bras to be used than thrown away into landfill.

Yeah, she's tight. But I've always said that how wealthy you are can have more to do with how much you spend, than how much you earn (I stress the word 'can', because obviously people struggling to get by can't save).

i watched a programme about Extreme Cheapskates. it is the only programme where I had to switch off before I threw up. It was gross.

i think your SIL is on a very slippery slope

Not sure about grim, but it sounds a bit bleak. I wouldn't want to live like that.

I'd rather buy new myself. But is it any grimmer than sleeping in hotel sheets that have previously been covered in all types of bodily fluids? So long as they're washed I don't see the problem.

What's the point in being rich if you live like you are poor?

Second hand bras no real opinion. Choosing to wear a bra that's the wrong size to save money you can afford- grim.

I'm actually wearing a second hand ewa Michalak bra. They sell on for good prices, a second hand one is about £30 if lightly worn. Every one I've bought has been immaculate

Choosing to wear a bra that's the wrong size to save money you can afford- grim.

I think this is my take too - it's one thing if a friend has some lightly used, good quality bras that they are getting rid of because they don't fit/are the wrong style/are uncomfortable and have been worn a handful of times maximum. Rather than just binning perfectly good bras I don't see the issue with taking them off her hands because you are the same size and would be willing to buy those bras new anyway, but have the opportunity to get them free/cheap from a friend who is just wanting rid.

If you're taking someone's old bras (whatever quality they are) knowing they are the wrong size purely on the principle of not spending money because they are going free, then that goes from being frugal to penny pinching and grim.

Also, it might just be me but the only time I throw out bras is if they are truly worn out or damaged - underwires working their way out, stretched out of shape, elastics gone, ripped/developed holes/stained, so old and worn it's more of a dark grey colour than it's original white, fastenings snapped etc - and I would never offer them to anyone. I think from the OP I just have this mental image of her SIL wearing the kind of bra I would be "throwing out" (and not out of necessity but out of pure choice) and that is a grim image.

melj I have 2 types of nra in my drawer. The old stretchy baggy ones I wear all the time and the pretty much brand new ones that are the wrong size and so never get worn. I give the latter to charity.

StuckInARut

"That's no a fiver Tam, that's a drawin o a fiver"

We love Still Game!

DD and me use their phrases all the time

She's rich because she earns 6 figures. If she was earning 12k her secondhand bra scheme wouldn't somehow magically make her well off.

She doesn't earn 6 figures, the OP says she has a 6 figure bank balance. Two totally different things. Also I earn the equivalent of 12k/pa and and am currently wearing a secondhand bra and I used second hand cloth nappies for my son. While I don't have a 6 figure bank balance like the OP's SIL, I do have a decent 5 figures put away and I bought my detached house on half an acre for cash when I was 35. I have very few bills to pay each month and with thoughtful spending, live a life of out and out fun and luxury but still save about half of my fairly meagre income. (Half of which is for long-term savings, the other half is for the boat I'll be buying next year, the Nissan Leaf/Tesla I'll be buying around 2020, the camper van I'll be buying the year after, the trips to Disney and the North Pole I'll be taking my son on, etc.)

Careful spending is far more often why well off people are well off than a high income. I know loads of people on high incomes who can't afford a fraction of the things I can.

Craftsy, forgive me but you can't have always have earned such a low wage to have managed to do all of that. Careful spending it is not.

I agree, OP. It's truly disturbing. I hate tight-arses!

It's grim - two words. Boob sweat

paxillin Bleak is a really good word here. For me it's about them being the wrong size. With that much in the bank it seems a shame to be uncomfortable, which she will be.

Also what's with the incredulity re OP posting about something that isn't her business? It's a bit odd and slightly irritating that this woman is insisting on wearing old bras which don't fit. And also it sounds like the tip of the iceberg.

What sounds downright fucking annoying is that she won't pay for petrol to collect the old bras but will let her friend and that she won't book things using her card (presumably again it's ok for others to use theirs) or spend any of her own money ever!

Must be why she has a 6 figure bank balance.
I would too, if I had no expenses

Sounds a little like you're envious of your SIL and are trying to find something to make you look mightier.

Thing is, if her friend is as wealthy as her, then these might be very expensive bras that haven't been worn much.

Really and truly could not give a shit less what bras someone wears, or where they come from.

Might I kindly suggest you get a life?

It isn't just the 2nd hand bras; though. Why is everyone fixating on the damn bras?

I am be wearing judgy pants on this one, but at least they are my judgy pants.

Second hand bras = grim.

Of course it's gross.

Dried in second hand boob sweat...no, thank you.

And they're the wrong feckin size! Utterly bizarre.

Oh and I don't care if it's any of my business or not. I come on MN to poke my nose into other people's business.

Surely they would be uncomfortable though if they weren't even her size.
I personally would have new bras (& ones that fit) and you can buy new ones really cheaply from Primarni as that's were my dd gets hers from when she bulk buys matching bras & knickers. I'm more of a buy one when I need one type of person because I get very attached to my bras. They are even washed in a special bag and on their own so they last longer.