AIBU to think this is totally grim

[Pulluptothebumper]

My SIL is not short of a bob or two. She's late forties, no children and 6-figure bank balance. She's also as tight as a duck's arse.

During a chat, she said she her friend was popping over (she won't drive anywhere. Petrol costs money, ya know) to drop off some bras. I assumed her friend had bought them on line for her (she won't pay for internet at home nor will she buy/book anything on line with her card) and was delivering them to her. But, no! These were her friend's old, used bras that she was chucking out and that SIL had begged she give her as bras are too expensive to buy new.
I was horrified but SIL can't see anything wrong with wearing someone else's scabby old second-hand bra that's not even in her size! AIBU to think this is grim???

I have no problem with second hand clothing, but not underwear.

Bras are classed as underwear.
I think there's something grim about wearing another person's underwear.
A bra is an item of clothing that's been up-close and sweaty next to another person's skin, on a daily basis.

Why is a 2nd hand bra grimmer than a 2nd hand tshirt or pair of jeans? As long as washed and in wearable condition. I don't get why she would take them in the wrong size (not grim, just foolish!)

My BFF gave me several bras, they looked almost new! And they fit me at the time.

(I wouldn't accept 2nd hand knickers)

I don't think I'd have any problem with a second hand bra. If it was in good condition and, presumably, washed.

*what difference does it make to you?&

Are we only ever allowed to have an opinion on something if it makes a difference to us? MN could grind to a shuddering halt if that's the case.

I don't know why people say that nonsense about ridiculous frugality like this being why she's rich. She's rich because she earns 6 figures. If she was earning 12k her secondhand bra scheme wouldn't somehow magically make her well off.

This kind of inconvenient penny pinching isn't a sign of good money management in wealthy people, it's quite the opposite. Only an utter idiot would go about wearing old, sagging bras in the wrong size when they could very easily afford to buy themselves a full draw of brand new, comfortable, properly fitted bras.

Are we only ever allowed to have an opinion on something if it makes a difference to us?

No but posting about your opinions on other peoples underwear seems grim at best.

I see no big deal in bras sock or tights would only think its weird if its knickers

This is where Mumsnet says 'Oh it's fine, frugality is wondrous' and in real life EVERYONE thinks 'yuk yuk yuk'!

This is where Mumsnet says 'Oh it's fine, frugality is wondrous

I think actually its where everyone (with any sense) says not your money not your bras not your business, actually.

My first bra was second hand. It was old, it was yellowing, it didn't fit me...I still can't believe my mother did this to me! They are a tiny bit grim when you are young and feel self conscious...however...

Your SIL sounds fabulous!! If she can sit there in second hand yellowing old bras and feel perfectly at ease and happy in her world, whom are you to judge her that this is wrong?

I would stop judging and start enjoying her company, she sounds great!

I like buying/receiving second hand clothes. Often more interesting and better quality then cheap bought items. I like the environmental aspect too. However there is a huge difference between being economic and being mean.

I honestly don't think second hand bras are yuck though (am assuming clean and not stained here). Maybe because i don't think of breasts as any dirtier than any other part of your torso.

Mind you, I used the same washable nappies (including some second hand ones)on both kids, so there's probably no hope for me.

Oh for goodness sake unclench some of you.

OP it's bloody weird how some people with stacks of cash are tight. I know a few people like this.

YANBU. The friend who is driving round to drop off said bras is also a strange one.

perhaps she hates shopping. a question for op..would you accept a second hand mattress?

Why is a second hand bra any more 'yuk' than a man wearing a second hand t shirt? Both are in contact with otherwise bare torsos. I guess some people get sweaty breasts but some men get sweaty chests. In any case, if they are washed, what's the problem?

sounds like she is slowly stepping beyond frugality and edging close to mental illness. some people are truly afraid of poverty and develop odd behavior.

I am wearing my Mum's bra, she has given me a few as I am pregnant and mine don't fit. I can't be bothered to go and buy some more and they are too small for her now. (I did wash them!)

If they've been washed I can't see the issue. I used second hand washable nappies and gave them away when I was finished with them.

Only thing is that they might not be very supportive any more after someone else has worn them for several months.

Sounds like she's struggling actually. Are you sure she's not been hit with a massive tax bill or something?!
I've known really really irrationally tight people who've been loaded, I think it's a mental health thing. Ever seen Extreme Cheapsakes? Some of those people need help (not meant in a horrible way).

if she is like this at late 40s I think she will get a lot worse when she is late 50s or late 60s.

Why is she saving that much money. Is she wanting to be the richest person in the grave yard

OP it's bloody weird how some people with stacks of cash are tight. They probably have stacks of cash because they are tight.

Who cares? They could be new but don't suit, rejected due to weight loss, unflattering style. You're not being forced to wear them so mind your own business. Rich or poor, it's admirable that they're not being sent to landfill.

She saving it all up to pad out her coffin