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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get so bored during the day

124 replies

peachlimeorange · 03/08/2017 13:43

Probably because I am dieting so don't have the 'company' of food!

I wish i could hire someone to talk to sometimes.

OP posts:
Ratbagratty · 03/08/2017 15:22

I currently work but make no money as it just covers childcare costs, but I do it because it gets me out and with adults and my child has learnt a lot too. So I can understand the cost side. Not sure age of your lo, but could you go to playgroups, children's centre or just to a park and sit near a fellow adult? A local library? Could try every time you think about food, go do a job (away from kitchen). Willpower is a horrible thing to control.

Alexkate2468 · 03/08/2017 15:23

How old are your kids? Could you go to groups with them? You're bound to make some friends there. Could you volunteer somewhere?
You could also join a gym that has a crèche if you need it. Most council ones are pay as you go and have a crèche.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 03/08/2017 15:24

Bet you're glad you posted OP, just what a wanted ,some nice friendly chat HmmGrin

Original poster
peachlimeorange · 03/08/2017 15:25

I do all the 'right' things. I volunteer and go to groups. I still seem to have between 8 and 10 hours to.fill every day.

OP posts:
iamapixiebutnotaniceone · 03/08/2017 15:26

Love the judgemental comments on here already. The professionally offended making their assumptions. Angry
OP I'm in a similar situation, I'm on Maternity Leave and always have my children with me so that rules out work for now and gym classes etc. I've started taking my daughters to gymnastics classes and have found friends in some of the parents there, the girls are occupied while I have some adult conversation! It's so hard to make friends as an adult, especially when you are a parent and can't be available to do what other people can do xxx

ContinuingPrim · 03/08/2017 15:28

Crafting? Sewing, needlepoint, or beading with talk radio on in the background is a nice way to while away the hours. Lots of shops do classes and get-togethers for customers, so it is a way in to some real-life socialising as well.

howabout · 03/08/2017 15:29

What about writing about the food you would normally eat every time you resist the urge to eat it?

MarryMeSuePerkins · 03/08/2017 15:30

The 30 hours thing is misleading. It only applies over term time, so 38 weeks of the year. Which averages at two and a bit hours per day if you spread it out across the year. So if you're working 8 hour days, you still need to pay for at least 6 hours of childcare per day.

I can completely understand why the op can't afford to work.

I go back to work full time soon. Paying childcare for two DCs - one of them qualifies for the funded 30 hours. After paying nursery fees and travel to get to work I will clear £100.

£100.

That will be my net contribution to our family pot.

So you can see it almost isn't worth it.

I'm only working for the pension payments tbh.

thepumpk1neater · 03/08/2017 15:32

Can you do a course, a craft or some such at an adult college during the day? Some provide childcare, though I may have made that up. That would give you something to work on when not there. OU course or similar?

MrsKoala · 03/08/2017 15:32

Well this is odd. Of course people can't afford to work. I thought that was fairly normal with children under school age. 3 kids under 5 would cost £120-180 per day. Not many people earn that after tax. Confused

I'm not bored generally OP, but i do get lonely and sometimes just want to chat with someone. That's why i like MN. Come Sept i will start going to gym classes and stuff. I agree tho, it can be boring.

MarryMeSuePerkins · 03/08/2017 15:32

Sorry that was a massive thread derail!!

I've been volunteering while on mat leave. It's been great for getting me out and about.

I also found a local exercise class that lets me bring the baby. So I get out, meet people and get fit. Maybe there's a mummy bootcamp type thing near you? Mine's a fiver a session.

Changerofname987654321 · 03/08/2017 15:32

The 30 free hours of childcare is only for children aged 3 and 4 and not all childcare venues offer it because the government pays them less than the cost of looking after the child.

MyfanwyMontez · 03/08/2017 15:32

I get you peach,
It is very lonely when you're a SAHP. I can't afford to work either unless it is around school hours (and we all know how plentiful those kind of jobs are).
I gave up a reasonably well paid job that I loved because I didn't have anyone to take my child to school or pick them up. And before anybody says breakfast club and after school clubs. , I didn't feel it was fair on my child to have such long days outside the home. If I'd continued working, by the time I had got to work it would've been almost time to leave!
Anyway, in answer to OP , how about swimming or joining the local library?

Atenco · 03/08/2017 15:33

If you have the opportunity to take a job that you would enjoy just to pay for childcare, take it, OP. You will be a better mother if you are more stimulated and happier. Some people are brilliant at being SAHM and have all my admiration, but it is not for everyone.

coddiwomple · 03/08/2017 15:33

she said she can't afford to work

go away.
Nanny cost: £20K ++ a year
Car park cost: £1,000 ish
Yearly train ticket: £4,000 ish

That's approx what it costs me to go to work, not including clothing because I can't turn up in the office wearing a Primark tracksuit. Of course, everybody can afford to have children and work. Hmm

thepumpk1neater · 03/08/2017 15:33

If you have a preschooler, yes try gymnastics and dance for that age group. A way to meet and chat to the other parents.

luckylucky24 · 03/08/2017 15:36

I am the same OP. I set up a facebook group for mums in my area to help make some friends and have a bit of company.

Lucisky · 03/08/2017 15:37

Could you run to one of those step monitor gizmos and walk 10,000 steps a day? Even if not, just getting out and getting exercise will improve your mood.
Have you got a decent local library?
Have a look at the local paper for groups you could join, or even volunteer somewhere, like a food bank or charity shop.
Start a new hobby - there must be something you would like to do.

araiwa · 03/08/2017 15:38

I dont think sd is blaming the op

More a general statement that its ridiculous that it ever makes better financial sense not to have a job

itstoolateforthisbollox · 03/08/2017 15:38

There's nothing belligerent about it. Don't you see what's wrong with the statement "I can't afford to work"

No, I don't see what is wrong with it (other than I think I am worth far more than jobs in my area are paying right now, but there isn't a lot I can do about that).
I can't afford to work either. Why don 't YOU tell us what you think is wrong with that?

HipsterHunter · 03/08/2017 15:41

Why is it always the women that can't afford to work? It's never the man.

GourmetGold · 03/08/2017 15:42

Crafting! I'm only bored when I'm at work because I have a VERY dull job...at home, nope!. Love watching Ted Talks, listening to chat on radio phone in shows and doing creative stuff.

Two really good websites are Craftsy.com and CreativeBug. CreativeBug is really cheap..only about £3/month and there's loads of online tutorials on all types of crafts and you don't have to spend a lot on the materials...acrylic yarn for knitting & crochet, 'The Works' store is great for cheap art materials.

itstoolateforthisbollox · 03/08/2017 15:42

sometimes it is. But isn't it obvious why its usually the women?

Minkyfluffster · 03/08/2017 15:43

I work from home a lot and when dieting its awful. try to get out the house?

you won't be a SAHP for ever? there will come a time when childcare isn't needed or after school club is an option won't there?

is studying an option? there are some great interactive online courses available.

Barbapapa1980 · 03/08/2017 15:48

I couldn't really afford to work either because of childcare cost ! I'm now a very successful business owner.

I can't afford to work 😂