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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel depressed at financial talk on MN?

391 replies

FluffyPotato · 02/08/2017 14:48

I understand that people sometimes have to talk salaries for context but I think some people just like to throw out numbers so that they show their middle class status to the rest of MN.

A thread I've just seen 'DH works 30 hours a week earning 60k' and someone commenting 'oh my DH earns 100k'.

I work bloody hard 40 hours a week and get about 1200 a month before tax.

AIBU to think that some MNers just like to boast their household income figures to others? Getting quite sick at how middle class mums net is.

OP posts:
dowhatyouwish · 04/08/2017 14:30

Also OP you coming on here and saying how much you earn is no different. Some may work the same hours as you and get a lot less. As another poster said comparison is the thief of joy. Recognise and be happy with your own portion and stop looking at others. If you have this attitude just from threads on MN I can't imagine how you must feel when or if it happens in real life.

dowhatyouwish · 04/08/2017 14:32

@RebelRogue being a prime example of what I mean!

OCSockOrphanage · 04/08/2017 14:40

An addition to the sub-thread digression on domestic violence, from the Guardian here.

OCSockOrphanage · 04/08/2017 14:45

Nightman, the doctor who wrote the article estimated that 20% of women in relationships were being battered in his city annually at the time (1990s) based on the number he treated and experience/figures from colleagues working in A&E and toxicology departments at the other large hospital serving the inner-city area. I seem to recall that it was soon after that time that the police were instructed to take DV cases seriously. As you say though, who know's how many cases are not reported?

OCSockOrphanage · 04/08/2017 14:47

Who knows...grammar lapse, duh.

TheNightmanCometh · 04/08/2017 14:57

I would have thought as well that lots of women didn't report until pretty recently simply because there was no point and there'd be blamed. Especially for relatively minor injuries where there'd be nothing much to do other than clean a cut.

Lucysky2017 · 04/08/2017 15:14

I never reported it - it was mild. I couldn't be bothered.

OCSockOrphanage · 04/08/2017 15:31

Flowers LucySky. Those, like me, who have never experienced it are clearly even more fortunate than we realise.

deesco · 04/08/2017 17:18

MrsKeats - could you be a little more offensive?? Why do only people who earn huge salaries work hard? I, and most of the people I work with (NHS) work their asses off looking after sick, dying, injured people, for 12 and a half hours a day for a pittance, with a half hour break/chance to sit down if your lucky. There are plenty of people who earn a lot who do fuck all and have no talent.

poweredbybread · 04/08/2017 17:20

Kursk I am afraid I don't agree. High risk jobs do not pay more.

VladmirsPoutine · 04/08/2017 17:32

There are plenty of people who earn a lot who do fuck all and have no talent.

A verbose way of saying 'middle management' Wink

Mrskeats · 04/08/2017 18:10

I said hard work helps esp for things like setting up your own business
How is that offensive?
Plenty of people are undervalued in public services etc of that there is no doubt
However, plenty of people earn over 100k esp in the South East and lots of them probably have huge mortgages that eat up a lot of it
I work in education which is not generally well paid but also have my own business

Kursk · 04/08/2017 18:13

poweredbybread

Interesting, what do you classify as high risk?

Commercial diver, mining equipment operator, navy reactor officer all pay pretty well

Lucysky2017 · 04/08/2017 18:25

I don't think we ever solve anything by these debates. Many many people work hard including whenever I was home with the new baby, 1 year old and 3 year old... never a second even to go to the loo.... and back at work when the baby was 2 weeks full time... life is hard and hard work for many people in all kinds of jobs.

I can compare - my family mined coal. My grandfather fell from a shipyard great height to his death at work. I bet he worked pretty hard. I do work hard as a lawyer with very long hours but I don't mind. My 5th child left 5 minutes ago for his first Deliveroo shift - let us see if that's hard work and what it's like. His older brother did 3.5 years as a postman - another kind of (physically) "hard work".

high risk can mean all kinds of things. People in finance and law can be sacked at the drop of a hat or you move jobs to get higher pay and don't last the 3 month probation. You are taking risk all the time. I set up on my own - risky with babies to feed..... Up the top of a ship my grandfather obviously took physical risks and fell. I expect the miners in my family took a lot of risks too as indeed used to be childbirth - my great granny who had 11 babies probably took risks giving birth to each one. We call it "labour" because it's hard work and I've done it 5 times. It's probably the hardest work any of us ever do - that 20 hours + of pain etc.

PerpendicularVincent · 04/08/2017 18:35

I have a decent income; lots of people earn less than me, equally so, lots earn far more. It's irrelevant to who we are as people. You get lazy and hardworking people in all incone brackets, along with kind people and arseholes.

If someone asks a question about income and people choose to answer that they earn a lot, I don't see that as boasting. It's just their personal circumstances, which are no cause for concern or envy.

Ultimately, all we are, are people who write things down on the Internet. Who gives a shit Grin

poweredbybread · 04/08/2017 18:48

I agree with lucysky2017 but I guess I mean high risk would be fire men armed forces people who put there lives at risk. I worked with head injured patients and got thumped kicked pushed etc etc this is not what I would call high risk and that was my most vulnerable nurse job. I was pregnant x 2 while working there but still think there is risk in every day life. I just think there are shit mindless jobs that people do for very little money and they are not just students. I don't think we now live in a world where you can pull yourself up by your boots straps. But we have a world where people are obsessed by mega mega wealth and young people really thinking that what they see on instagram is real. My kids know they will never own their own home. ( also know they will need medical insurance) I just hope they earn enough to go and experience the world meet like minded people and try not fuck things up as much as my generation has. The 20 th century's awful consumerism I really hope is over. Poverty is not over though. But I'm a raving lefty who thinks a living wage should be just that.

poweredbybread · 04/08/2017 19:06

Ok so I don't want to get eaten for breakfast for saying mindless jobs. I mean like someone who is a cleaner on a hospital ward or in a hotel who just ends up knackering their back from mopping dragging hoovers lugging laundry bending down who is cheerful and when you get to know them has children a partner and is bright and witty but just stuck cos of circumstance.

poweredbybread · 04/08/2017 19:07

Ok so I don't want to get eaten for breakfast for saying mindless jobs. I mean like someone who is a cleaner on a hospital ward or in a hotel who just ends up knackering their back from mopping dragging hoovers lugging laundry bending down who is cheerful and when you get to know them has children a partner and is bright and witty but just stuck cos of circumstance.

Anatidae · 04/08/2017 19:10

Hard work alone isn't the benchmark. Neither are rare skills. Not alone. It's the combo of hard work, rare skill and that skill being needed to make someone money

You're paid what you're worth in terms of the value you generate. The problem is that society often ranks financial value generated (footballers, vacuous celebs flogging stuff) over social value (carers, nurses, bin men.)
Sometimes the two overlap. I have absolutely zero problem with a highly trained skilled surgeon getting mega bucks for example.
But often they don't. Just hard work alone doesn't guarantee money. Just rare skills alone doesn't earn you money unless those skills make someone else money. So a commercial diver keeping the oil pipelines open at Sullom Voe is going to be paid much more than a theoretical physicist whose work has unknown uses.
Just hard work and being valuable to society also doesn't mean you're well paid. Look at the wages carers earn.

I'm wellish paid (although not quite six figures) because I'm smart so not too many people can do my job, it requires a lot of training and education, that narrows the pool further, and it makes my company a metric fuckton of money. Of which I see about 3% :)

Peabrain14 · 04/08/2017 19:43

The eye opener for me are the amount of MN users (or their husbands Grin) who earn 6 figures + but work 20 hours or the amount who don't work & live off investments. I need me one of those jobs!

BoysofMelody · 04/08/2017 19:48

Two things about those threads, they attract braggers and bullshitters.

Pay no mind op

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 04/08/2017 19:49

I agree pea

Dh works stupid hours

What is he doing wrong????

(Apart from marrying me before anyone else says it)

OCSockOrphanage · 04/08/2017 19:58

Some here are effectively retired, and have not yet had the decency to retreat to Gransnet and discussions of blue rinses! That's my excuse anyway.

TheNightmanCometh · 04/08/2017 20:05

I think not just braggers and bullshitters but generally extremes and people who feel their circumstances challenge accepted wisdom.

Peabrain14 · 04/08/2017 20:08

Rufus 😂 . I did indeed marry for money but on the proviso that he would never be at home to bug me, 60+ hours only please.

Sock - never thought of that!