To feel depressed at financial talk on MN?

[FluffyPotato]

I understand that people sometimes have to talk salaries for context but I think some people just like to throw out numbers so that they show their middle class status to the rest of MN.

A thread I've just seen 'DH works 30 hours a week earning 60k' and someone commenting 'oh my DH earns 100k'.

I work bloody hard 40 hours a week and get about 1200 a month before tax.

AIBU to think that some MNers just like to boast their household income figures to others? Getting quite sick at how middle class mums net is.

But is it boasting? If the subject is how much do you earn and a poster says £250k how is it boasting. They are just answering a question.

Salaries do get mentioned often and I've noticed that people on here mostly seem to earn 50k or more on the basis of numbers cited; I think that is above average.

The prickly reactions to the op are very telling.

I think people earning more are in general happier to say so on here, so it skews things. That's how you end up with threads like the "what's your house like?" one, where it started off fairly mixed but then the houses got bigger and bigger and bigger until everyone was in an 8-bedroom barn conversion with two swimming pools and Kevin McCloud popping over to see how the extension was getting on.

Well I agree with you about those types. I can't abide bragging.

I hear a lot about this bizarre poverty competition, but I don't seem to see that much of it. Possibly because I don't experience the posts on how to feed a family cheaply as bizarre and competitive: in the circles I move they're just ordinary.

But then again, couldn't one see this as a positive with MN: this is one space where people from very different places, with very different lives, can meet and exchange experiences? Seems good to me.

I sometimes wonder if some of them are telling the truth. MN is fantasy land for some people.

Average UK full-time salary is around £27k IIRC.

Mumsnet has helped me to understand where I am in my world financially; most of my friends earn a shedload more than me, now I know that isn't uncommon. But I've also learnt from people who are in real hardship - how they are coping, and what makes that coping become impossible. Its shown me I spend too much on food for example. And its helped me to understand those who earn £100k and how they perceive that, and how they spend it.

I don't need Mumsnet to make me depressed about my income though, my friends do that for me - 3 or 4 holidays a year, tickets to every event and concert going, new cars, re-decorating every 2 years or so, eating out or takeaways twice a week, new clothes for them and the DC whenever they want. Or those that are so tight they won't spend £3 on a coffee!

I don't really mind people talking about salary or income when it's relevant but I do get (irrationally I know) irritated at women talking about what their husbands earn (especially when it's followed by "we pay lots of tax")

I see the poverty competition all the time. Not just about food shoppping. If an op posts that they are struggling on say, £25k a year, the replies will often be shock horror and 'well I earn 16k a year and have 5 children!' As if that means the OP does not have a right to struggle.

Don't really begrudge people talking about whatever they want to talk about, but it does make me feel like I've taken a trip to Mars sometimes, I can't relate at all.

I think I know what you mean.

The sort of thread where somebody is after some advice on a situation and says 'we earn about this much. What do you think we could do?' And then some folk pile in with:
'You'll never manage it on that much. We earn £45k and don't do that'
'Are you on glue OP. My DH pulls in £65k and we don't have that much left after the school fees and childcare'

Of course, you get the opposite too. OP says they think they're going to struggle to afford something and how can they save up and there'll be loads of replies like:
'You think money's tight on £23,000. You'd have a field day in my house. We support all 5 of us on £13,000 and are more than happy. Maybe if you had fewer holidays and an older car you'd get by just fine'

Maisy yes you've reminded me now, you do get a lot of that! Then it goes into "well my grocery shop is £40 a week for 3 adults a baby and 2 cats" and so on, that does make me feel like I should feed everyone on the £40 too!!

Well it depends on the context. There was a thread on here earlier where someone asked about salaries as they were wondering if they could afford to give up work and be a SAHM. In that context then you are being unfair particularly if someone had asked that very specific question.

*I work bloody hard 40 hours a week and get about 1200 a month before tax.

Well you know there isn't a good correlation between how hard a job is and the pay.

Birds of a feather flock together.

Was this the how much does dh earn if you're a sahm thread?

I'm just curious as to what they do for a living and if I could get a job in it 😁

If it is that thread, it's not so braggy - some people do earn an awful lot of money.

It's not only about working hard, but also about what kind of job you have.

OP - I assume you work in a nursery? It's not a high paying industry. But why bash someone who has, for example, moved across the country, gone to uni, got a job and worked all hours to climb the ladder, taken further qualifications, put off family etc and is now a surgeon/lawyer/Director earning £150k +? Why shouldn't that person boast about their achievements?

OP that thread was about a terrible DH justifying what he did around the house - nothing basically, based on what he earned i.e. 60k.

He thought this gave him a free ride.

Of course other posters pointed out that their DH's earned more and still managed to run the hoover round or make dinner.

I work bloody hard 40 hours a week and get about 1200 a month before tax.

@FluffyPotato you are being paid less than the minimum wage (or getting your accounting wrong).

£7.50 x 40 hours a week is £300
£300 weekly wage x 52 weeks is £15,600
£15,600 / 12 = £1,300 per month (before tax)

Why shouldn't that person boast about their achievements?
Because boasting and being big headed aren't particularly nice traits to have.

I'm under zero illusion that one of DH's friends is on crazy good money for his stage in his career, but he doesn't run around the place declaring it to the world because doing so would make him a dickhead.

hipster She probably isn't paid for her lunch break.

You can look at competitiveness in different ways though. OP, I earn far more than you as I earn £55,000. You could see me as boasting when I say this. However, a far lower earner than me could post about sitting in the garden having a drink on a summer's evening, and I could take this as boasting too. Or they could mention that they are decorating hteir spare room, or mention that they have a mortgage. I could see all these as showing off. Why? Because I am single, live in the SE and rent a one bedroom flat. Gardens and spare bedrooms are only in my dreams. Someone's earnings only gives a small picture of their circumstances. I'm a relatively high earner, but I don't have a lifestyle worth boasting about. Someone on a low income could have a well paid partner, benefit top ups or a council house and could be FAR better off than me in terms of lifestyle. So don't be envious in terms of income - higher earners aren't all living a fabulous life!!

Salaries according to the guardian of UK MC values. (roughly £27k for anyone too non-MC to click. £27k is also average HH disposable income after tax and benefits per ONS)

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4379692/The-monthly-salary-expect-earn-age.html

What always strikes me in MN threads on this is how little difference big salary variations can make to disposable incomes because of differences in costs of earning and living and randomness of the tax and benefit system. Wealth differences also seem to be a major blind spot.