To feel depressed at financial talk on MN?

[FluffyPotato]

I understand that people sometimes have to talk salaries for context but I think some people just like to throw out numbers so that they show their middle class status to the rest of MN.

A thread I've just seen 'DH works 30 hours a week earning 60k' and someone commenting 'oh my DH earns 100k'.

I work bloody hard 40 hours a week and get about 1200 a month before tax.

AIBU to think that some MNers just like to boast their household income figures to others? Getting quite sick at how middle class mums net is.

Anyone remember Jade Goody? The confrontational reality TV "star" who died very young of breast cancer leaving two infant sons and a halfwit sex symbol husband. She worked flat out through her final illness to fund her sons education (private school specified) so they had a better start.

AIBU to think that some MNers just like to boast their household income figures to others? Getting quite sick at how middle class mums net is

Just ignore the threads my dear

Yes I do
I cried when she died that was heartbreaking
She made it despite everything and then had to leave her little boys

Sorry to confound your hypothesis, Tess, but FamilySock don't. We worked, paid taxes, owe nowt.

There is nothing wrong with discussing income Without bragging... secrecy benefits no-one but the employers. I earn next to nowt (charity worker) so there is unlikely to be any bragging from my quarter anytime soon. It is important to know what different sectors pay, and can also reduce the gender pay gap.

Of course some are braggy fuckers, but they always will be!

Thank you OC, yes that makes sense, so like inherited mentality towards money and education vs actual earnings? I've noticed that, or a person going out of their way to reject the way they were brought up and doing the opposite..
I also disagree that everyone is in debt. I've made a huge effort to not be in any debt..to the detriment of my credit but oh well.

Agree witsender.

I don't earn very much and having seen salary threads here before don't care how many MNers have a household income of £100K+

We all deal with the same issues bringing up our children, from teething to teens.

Use MN for what you need it for and ignore the shit that you know doesn't benefit you.

I'm not convinced mentality is the word but an inherited belief/training that education matters big time in children's life chances does seem to work.

I am not upmarket, just ordinary MC. My grandfathers both left school at 13 or 14, one was a horse dealer; the other built planes. My father became a pilot via the services, and I am one of very few in my family to have been to university. Between 1920 and 1950, it was entirely ordinary for most people to self educate via WEA and night school to progress in their careers, and there was financial help to fund classes in subjects that local or national governments deemed valuable. I looked at the evening class schedule for 2017 recently and it is mostly built around leisure/hobby pursuits. Very little on offer would be useful to anyone hoping for a better job.

No matter what anyone's income, you'll find they all live to the limit of their income, and have the same, if not more, level of debt (in proportion to income) as everyone else.

Sorry but that's simply not true.

Yep. Not even slightly. There are plenty of us who try to live below our incomes.

We've always lived below ours, meaning we could retrain, change jobs etc with less worry. At the moment things are tighter as we are doing work on the house, which was bought for a lot less than the maximum mortgage we could have had due to this mentality.

No one has ever asked me what I earn, in real life, or told me what they earn, its one of those things that you don't discuss socially in the circles I mix in. I can't shake the view that its a bit vulgar to name a figure, and more so to do that about what your DH earns (a bit good digger-ish - as in 'see the husband I have managed to bag'!). So for me, i'm not impressed by the figures people mention on here, I just think its a bit vulgar.

We live below our means too. No credit cards, no car, clothes mostly second hand. Don't like debt and our mortgage could be much bigger. Loads of books, music and art though!

I'd also say that valuing education doesn't mean believing that sending children to private schools gives them the best start. You can value education, send them to local state schools and support their education, get involved. Parental support and friendship groups are as important as money when it comes to schooling.
Middle class doesn't = private education.

the OP didnt seem to be unhappy about people mentioning their income, just mentioning a high income

And tennis is obviously referring to those (bit gold diggerish) women who refers to their husbands high income...as one assumes that the gold digger bit wouldnt be bandied about for woman whose husbands earn minimum wage for example

So while i agree that mentioned actual numbers may be considered vulgar it seems that most people have a problem with high numbers being mentioned

Or have I misunderstood

Should point out that most of the people i know dont talk about wages unless they either earn minimum wage or if its in the context of just missing out on a benefit...such as child benefit

Yes, plenty of us live below our means.

We have no debt, almost no mortgage. My car cost £750 three years ago. Most of my furniture/clothing are second hand. Very little jewellery/ stuff.
In fact I hate stuff. OH is the same. Can't stand shopping, hate playing into the marketing shit.
I live simply.
We save half of our earnings every month.
No need to spend it.

No matter what anyone's income, you'll find they all live to the limit of their income, and have the same, if not more, level of debt (in proportion to income) as everyone else

That is clearly utter bullshit.

I don't think valuing education equates to career. My whole (large) family went to university, it was expected of us. It was also very much instilled into us that careers weren't for 'the likes of us'. Eg my father refused to let me study law because he didn't think it 'appropriate'.

I think we need to get away from if you're poor it's your fault. When I think of jobs that are really hard work they are mostly poorly paid. I hate that we live in a world where a footballer signs a deal worth £450 million and that the firemen at Grenfell towers who may now have PTSD probably can't live anywhere central London. I hate that we live in a world where we value footballers more than emergency services or people who work in Sainsbury's that are open 24 / 7. I could go on I will stop. Birmingham refuse collectors have gone on strike and it's not nice at all maggots rats etcBankers went on strike once in Ireland what happened. Nothing.

Perhaps people being open about their salaries might lessen the pay gap between men and women. And also between pointlessly well paid jobs in banking etc and functioning but less awarded jobs elsewhere.

@FluffyPotato - you are my hero!!! :-)

I'm not a high earner but I think you're taking it too personally.

my salary is not too dissimilar to yours, I get that maybe it isn't nice to read about other that are well off but is a part of life we have to accept. Just because they earn more doesn't mean they have lots of disposable income, high earners have debt too and far more to loose! Your post comes across with a hint of jealousy, naturally I'm sure we'd all like to earn more money. Fact of the matter is if we want better paid jobs we have to go out and get one. I certainly wouldn't accuse anyone of being MC because they are a high earner, one of my family's closest friends is a millionaire but the most down to earth person I know and is just the same as he is now than when he didn't have a pot to piss in!

It is a very interesting thread. Thank you to everyone who is contributing. I suspect most of us don't mention earnings in real life and only do so on here if asked and it is a thread about that although you will always get silly show offs in life (on and off line).

I don't agree most people with a fair bit of money are spending to the limit. One reason we did a bit better than some people in our 20s was we saved and saved. I remember the Butlins holiday (and yes having a holiday at all is a lot more than many people manage) and just generally making sure month by month we kept spending down but that was partly because both our personalities are like that and most of my children. We kind of enjoy that scrimping stuff, the under spending. I think it's just a personality thing. Other people find it very hard not to spend every last penny and more.

However I agree that most of us who gradualyl get better off do tend to up our spending. Eg I never bought hair conditioner or washing machine softener (luxuries). Now I do without a second thought - extravagant me..... I still don't pay a hair dresser (hair dye costs £7 but others would say that £7 when I could let it go grey is a waste of money). It's all very personal and vast numbers of people would think it was utterly wasteful to pay school fees or help the twins at university financially (hopefully they go next month if the grades are right).

(On domestic violence there was more in the old days than now - particularly caused by poverty and drink and even I someone no one would imagine could have suffered any had a bit in my marriage. I am afraid it is very common indeed and I don't think most people make it up although if you have been lucky enough not to experience it then I can see why people might think it might be invented).

powered- I agree about not blaming people for bring poor. I'm trying to say say 'poorly paid' rather than 'poor'- a huge, important difference.