To feel depressed at financial talk on MN?

[FluffyPotato]

I understand that people sometimes have to talk salaries for context but I think some people just like to throw out numbers so that they show their middle class status to the rest of MN.

A thread I've just seen 'DH works 30 hours a week earning 60k' and someone commenting 'oh my DH earns 100k'.

I work bloody hard 40 hours a week and get about 1200 a month before tax.

AIBU to think that some MNers just like to boast their household income figures to others? Getting quite sick at how middle class mums net is.

It depends on your definition of social class as to whether you believe money and social class are related. Some say social class is down to job (so changeable), others family background (so rigid).

I'm not going to deny I wouldn't like to earn more than my minimum wage job. In fact I am looking to retrain in something with better pay...and something more interesting.
But I'm under no illusions, money doesn't = happy and I definitely don't buy into our society's dodgy beliefs about it meaning you are a better person or more 'valuable'.. yuk...that's fascism.
Learning to find joy in everyday life is what's important IMO and that's down to attitude and beliefs, not wealth.

I don't feel jealous but I do feel envious at how comfortable some people's lives seem to be in that they must never worry about money. I've lived a life with quite a bit of money and disposable income (through ex husband), also lived on benefits with 2 children. However i now earn less than national average in a stressful job but am ok, get by, can afford a holiday, car etc so have experienced what it's like not to have to work and what it's like to be living on very little money. I do get exasperated with people on here who 'seem' to have such comfortable lives, have a choice to work or not, and still complain. But then I think if they've only lived that life they know no different so I get exasperated with myself for being exasperated. I do like the insight mn gives me into other people's lives. Endlessly interesting.

Sometimes people make things up like that to boost their self esteem.

I have a distant friend who will tell anyone who will listen about their income, well over £150k pa.

Recently I did a naughty thing, I zoopla'ed her address. She lives in a rented, furnished bedsit, albeit in a lovely location.

Hmmm.....now what do we make of that?!

OP, you are not being unreasonable. It's human nature to compare and feel bad. It's also human nature to boast a little.

I have two thoughts on it all:

1. We don't live in a meritocracy. There is hardly s perfect correlation between hard work and value to society and remuneration.
2. Painful as it is, getting some of this info out in the open is a good thing. It empowers the people who are getting screwed.

I always find the reluctance to talk about salaries in real life a bit odd. How else can you know if you are being screwed over. I like a bit of pay transparency - and will always happily tell someone my salary if asked.

EmpressoftheMundane I absolutely agree that it's empowering.

It's in the interests of many employers to not want more openness.

I get were your coming from op, I know the thread your talking about. I read through it and it had turned out to be a huge Bragfest! These days its like a huge competition with cars, houses. Turning up at the school with big 4x4 s, trying to look like the posh mumsy mumsy. I wouldn't believe half of what people write on mumsnet, a lot of people talk p**h! I'm not a bitter person, I enjoy what I have, beautiful kids, good health, jobs. I'm not ambitious, never have been. Don't let it get you down xx

I think it's fair enough for people to share what they or their OH earn on a thread where that is the specific question being asked. If it annoys you then probably best to avoid those threads?

Also...class and money are two different things. I'm a high earner but am working class.

I never take any notice of anything anyone says about their income, I think it is quite vulgar to discuss ones income... I once worked in a independent school and recall one of the parents bragging about the value of his house and how much he earns in front of a group of us, I had to chuckle to myself because I knew his monthly Direct debit bounced every month over the course of years.
People are often full of BS, those that brag are often fabricating the truth.
I

I hear a lot of BS on a daily basis about people's finances. Some people will exaggerate their salary, as well as exaggerate about other aspects of their life. Take it with a huge pinch of salt.

Don't be depressed about money. Are you happy in the rest of your life?. Money doesn't buy happiness. My husband and I work hard and have savings and can afford reasonable holidays but life is dull and boring much of the time and lately he's been doing my head in and I'm forever shouting at the kids as I'm so knackered. I think if I was at home and had less money the stress levels would be lower life would be calmer. Who knows. The grass is different colours for us all xx

I think maybe people who would never talk about money / salaries in real life, maybe feel able to do so on here because it's anonymous so they don't expect anyone would care.

We all know there is always someone who has more money than you - so what's the problem? It will obviously be reflected on here as in real life.

Apart from financial worries, wealthy people still have the whole spectrum of life's problems, you know. Money can't buy you health, perfect DC or perfect marriages! Such problems exist across all social spectrums.

Thanks whereismyparachute!

stumblemonkey- I agree about money and class. We have a not particularly high income (unlike most of our relatives) but are definitely middle class. We call ourselves 'nouveau pauvre'!

They're lucky no need to be depressed

Katherine2626. Vulgarity and violence seem to be the norm for the 21st century. To digress, the number of DV threads on MN depress me daily. Was it always so commonplace? Or was it better obscured in days gone by? Not planning to derail, just an idea that popped in. It has never been part of my life BTW, so I'm not looking for a fight.

I know where you're coming from op and I think the defensive responses are quite unfair. I think it's important to remember mumsnet is not a reflection of the whole of society and to remember that there is always someone better off and always someone worse off than you. Ignore all the idiot responses in here, unhelpful and plain nasty.

Can someone explain more about class vs income?? I was under the assumption they were inextricably linked. Unless you're talking about the poor white trash family suddenly coming into money like Beverly hillbillies.

I take home under 900£ ,working 35 h a week. Are you trying to make ME feel bad? Are you bragging?

Class v income? Big question, there, and a lot of answers. It is entirely possible to have a title and no money or land, but unlikely that the children would not have a decent private education, so their prospects are as good as their parents. It is equally possible that the children of a person who made a fortune through sport or technology would be sent to a very ordinary comprehensive, because the person did not value or grasp the opportunities that education opens up. It seems to me that some working class (C2DE socio-economic groups) in the UK have the view that education was wasted on me; why should it be different for my DS/DD.

I always thought Paul McCartney was interesting, choosing a (very outstanding) comprehensive for his children and letting them get on with their lives, successfully while Gary Lineker whinged that his sons didn't excel at (I think) Charterhouse.

RebelRogue, per week or month? If it's per month, you are being stitched; per week, there are lots earning less. Don't think anyone would want you to feel bad.

No matter what anyone's income, you'll find they all live to the limit of their income, and have the same, if not more, level of debt (in proportion to income) as everyone else.
Also, the more you're thought to have, the more you're expected by others to have a certain standard of living, eating in best restaurants, at all the openings, latest gadgets, great holidays, etc. And it's hard not to give in to the peer pressure to conform. Fine, if you enjoy that sort of thing.
Best to keep your mouth shut about your earnings, live a normal life, have your children live a normal life, pick friends for their honesty, loyalty, and integrity. You can still treat yourself occasionally, on the QT.

@OCSockOrphanage per month.

I know, but OP was complaining about other people mentioning their income(which is higher than hers) and that they're bragging and what not. So i turned it around on her.

I actually don't particularly care what other people earn.