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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to feel even slightly guilty

143 replies

bakedpotato · 27/03/2007 21:59

about ripping a hole in a stranger's nasty jacket -- if anything, getting a bit of a kick out of it?

I got on a very full bus with 2 DCs this pm. Most people moved aside, with varying degrees of grace, to let me get the buggy down the aisle. Not one lady. She left her bag in the way so I thought, sod you, madam, and rammed the buggy into it, and past it like a Sherman tank and as we went by, I heard this satisfying rriiiiiippppp and realised somehow her apparel had snagged the buggy. She kept looking from me to the tear, daggers, but I was too busy discussing spring blossom with DD to notice.

I am not wrong, am I?

OP posts:
crystalpony · 27/03/2007 22:03

Did you actually ask her politely to let you past and she refused? I kind of think you lowered yourself a little by your actions TBH

hairymclary · 27/03/2007 22:03

honestly?

I would have asked the lady to move her bag.
and I would have apologised for the rip in her coat.

KathyMCMLXXII · 27/03/2007 22:04

Was the jacket very nasty? If so there may be a justification on grounds of aesthetics.

tiredemma · 27/03/2007 22:05

was it a 'bomber' jacket?

I hate those.

powder28 · 27/03/2007 22:06

Lol Kathy

HoppyDaddy · 27/03/2007 22:07

You could have tried my dw's "Can you move your bag, please? I'll move it for you shall I?" and sling it down the bus. this was many moons ago, honest.

Pennies · 27/03/2007 22:10

Do as you would be done by.

HoppyDaddy · 27/03/2007 22:15

Oooh pennies.

Original poster
bakedpotato · 27/03/2007 22:16

Buggy, full bus, 5yo with me, shopping. I'm not going to do her lifting work for her, am I?

It was a very nasty green down-filled puffa thing.

She was 40-something, and firmly entrenched iin the 'please offer these seats to the elderly or people with children' row.

Incidentally, I always get out of the way/offer seats when possible. So my conscience is thrillingly clear on that score.

OP posts:
crystalpony · 27/03/2007 22:21

Well if you think it was justified thats what matters..personally I would've been embarrassed at actually damaging somebody's else stuff. You sound a bit vengeful and reactive to me...don't think I'd like to cross you!

Original poster
bakedpotato · 27/03/2007 22:22

Tis a fair summary, crystalpony.
[deranged]

OP posts:
rowan1971 · 27/03/2007 22:25

I'm empathising with you, BakedPotato. I once roared 'GET OUT THE F*CKING WAY' at a bunch of schoolkids on a bus in a similar situation. Tho' have to say I did feel rotten about it afterwards (still do). Bus + pram + small child + congestion + long day = shattering explosion of rage. That's real maths, you know.

powder28 · 27/03/2007 22:35

Thing is when you do react to things, you end up agonising about it and wondering if it was neccessary, and then you might feel bad about it.
If you dont react, then later on when you have calmed down, you might feel bad that you didnt do something, but ultimately you almost feel relieved that you just let it go ime

Does that make sense?

PANNtsdown · 27/03/2007 22:38

I saw someone bump into a car when reversing in the car park today- beeped at him as he just drove off without even looking to see if any damage had been done.

He got out of the car and started road raging at me! So you got off lightly i think.

powder28 · 27/03/2007 22:41

What did he say?

JodieG1 · 27/03/2007 22:47

When I don't react to things I feel worse than when I do. I'd rather deal with things then and there than leave it and wish I'd said something later on.

hatwoman · 27/03/2007 22:49

I remember feeling a totally unjustified smirk when on an aeroplane dd was waving felt tips about. some poor entirely innocent fellow passenger walked past and got a long bright pink streak on his cream chinos - without noticing. I just loved the idea of him taking then off that evening and wondering where on earth it came from. I bet he still wonders now. I don;t feel guilty - his life will have been enriched by the mystery of the pink felt tip. (and he didn;t even do anything wrong)

PANNtsdown · 27/03/2007 22:50

He just said 'what the fuck are you beeping at'

JodieG1 · 27/03/2007 22:52

I'm awful in the car, I've had rows with people before over it can't stand people being rude and always bite when something is said

PANNtsdown · 27/03/2007 23:07

well me too, i couldn't stand not saying something.
I said 'you just hit that car and you were driving away'
he said 'there was no damage'

he hadn't even stopped to check
the other car was parked perpendicular to a wall- when he hit the front of the other car with his bumper the back went into the wall.

I said 'how do you know- you didn't look'
and he said 'fuck off and mind your own business'.

Charming. He came towards me menacingly and I got into the car and locked the doors

tinkerbellhadpiles · 27/03/2007 23:11

PANNtsdown did you note his licence plate. I would have stuck a post it on the damaged car with your number and his licence plate and urged the driver to call the fuzz!

handlemecarefully · 27/03/2007 23:11

Ummm - so have we established, did you or didn't you say "Excuse me" to her?

powder28 · 27/03/2007 23:12

Thats just it Pann, some men are prepared to intimidate you even if you are a woman.

essbeebarmy · 27/03/2007 23:12

Message withdrawn

Soapbox · 27/03/2007 23:14

So you ripped this woman's coat whilst ramming her bag with your buggy and may or may of not asked her politely to move her things!

No, I don't, think this is reasonable! It is brutal and ignorant - what on earth is society coming to that someone would think this was an okay thing to do?