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Original poster

not to feel even slightly guilty

143 replies

bakedpotato · 27/03/2007 21:59

about ripping a hole in a stranger's nasty jacket -- if anything, getting a bit of a kick out of it?

I got on a very full bus with 2 DCs this pm. Most people moved aside, with varying degrees of grace, to let me get the buggy down the aisle. Not one lady. She left her bag in the way so I thought, sod you, madam, and rammed the buggy into it, and past it like a Sherman tank and as we went by, I heard this satisfying rriiiiiippppp and realised somehow her apparel had snagged the buggy. She kept looking from me to the tear, daggers, but I was too busy discussing spring blossom with DD to notice.

I am not wrong, am I?

OP posts:
Pennies · 28/03/2007 13:49

I disagree MI. She's proud of herself for damaging someone else's property - she should be ashamed of herself. What an example to set to her DD. It sounds like there was some pretty heavy handed pram pushing going on here. I expect the woman felt quite intimidated by her.

I can't understand the majority of MN'ers responses on here to this either. Most of you are all saying that was wrong but well done for doing it. WTF? Just because the OP puts it in a slightly amusing manner doesn't excuse this IMHO.

rowan1971 · 28/03/2007 13:54

bakedpotato makes me larf.

what with the derangement and the snorting.

KathyMCMLXXII · 28/03/2007 13:56

I think MI has it exactly right.

Doing it deliberately would be wrong, but she didn't, and there's nothing that can be done about it now.

BigEggLittleEgg · 28/03/2007 14:01

God I would be mortified, even though the miserable old bag deserved it. Did she not say anything to you? If someone ripped my coat on the bus i would be sooooo pissed off.

On the Brixton / Brockwell Park thing, I used to live near there too, on the other side, in Croxted Road. Hurrah for Brockwell Park. Also lived in Peckham briefly...

RosaLuxembourg · 28/03/2007 14:13

Yes you are being unreasonable not to feel guilty about an act of totally gratuitous rudeness. End of.

Earlybird · 28/03/2007 14:14

It would have been far more reasonable to simply say 'can you please move aside so I can get past'? Then if she refused or gave attitude, pushing through (with unintentional rip of coat) would be called for.

You do seem awfully pleased that you 'got your own back' and taught her a lesson.

DominiConnor · 28/03/2007 14:22

The law counts "reckless" and "on purpose" as the same thing.
On practical grounds I see it as a poor ethical principal to "accidentally/on purpose damage others.
That's because you can't tell why she left the bag there. Probably it was bloody mindedness, but maybe she was partly disabled, and the hand on the side where she had to leave her bag simply didn't work.
She might not have seen you, many people "tune out" when on public transport.

Bakedpotato saw her "looking daggers", and she may be right, but interpreting emotions at a distance is not a precise science. It may be that she was having a more crap day than you, and your belligerence had made it worse.

I see it as a form of bullying.
I'm an ugly reasonably large bloke who I'm told looks like he's up for a fight.
Would you have done that to me ?

That's the test isn't it ?
Would you do something if you were held accountable ?

sunnywong · 28/03/2007 14:37

haven't read all the thread, but to attempt to go from N19 to Brockwell park on public transport, BP my hat, nay my scalp, is off to you

motherinferior · 28/03/2007 14:44

I spend far too much of my life awash with guilt. Even though I don't stab people.

kslatts · 28/03/2007 14:51

I think you were totally unreasonable and I would have been really angry if you had ripped my coat.

FloatingNeedsAnEasterName · 28/03/2007 14:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
bakedpotato · 28/03/2007 15:29

Someone asks if I'd have done the same to an ugly large bloke. You betcha! If he'd left a big kit bag (full of dumbbells and spanners and big knives) in the aisle, and was oblivious to the fact that a person with small children and a buggy was being obstructed by it -- well, of course I would done a similar thing, before we all fell on the floor and broke all our limbs. Maybe not at 11pm, but I wouldn't have been out on a bus with two small children at 11pm.

Some of you are missing the point. I did not rip her coat deliberately, she was careless with it and exposed it to danger. It's best, if you have a large puffy duvet-coat, to attend to it with the utmost sensitivity.

OP posts:
crystalpony · 28/03/2007 15:32

Then you should have apologised if it was not deliberate.

Blu · 28/03/2007 15:33

Exposed it to Sherman tank levels of danger!

I feel a Brixton Nostalgia Meet-Up thread coming on....

Original poster
bakedpotato · 28/03/2007 15:34

but I 'didn't notice' the rip, just as she 'didn't notice' that I needed to get by

I think we probably deserved each other.

OP posts:
oliveoil · 28/03/2007 15:35

wrong to rip coat yes

I used to get on buses with a double buggy

if people didn't shift on the first request my voice would gett louder and shriller

KathyMCMLXXII · 28/03/2007 15:36

I'm not sure about apologising in a situation like that actually - it could have led to her saying 'Well what are you going to do about it then?' and Bakedpotato refusing to pay for the damage.... could have had totally the wrong effect and escalated things.

crystalpony · 28/03/2007 15:36

But you said she kept looking between you and the tear so how can you not have noticed it?????? Get out of that one missus!!!!

Original poster
bakedpotato · 28/03/2007 15:39

I noticed it, just not officially. Just as she didn't notice me as I came up the aisle, though she was looking straight at me.

OP posts:
rowan1971 · 28/03/2007 15:41

To return to the original topic, which - iirc - was Brockwell Park: yes, I'd be on for a meet-up. Tho only if we all disrespeck someone with extreme prejudice on the bus on the way there.

crystalpony · 28/03/2007 15:41

Well, it's quits then I guess !

Pennies · 28/03/2007 15:43

The whole point of this thread is that you DID notice the rip.

She can treat her coat how she pleases. It is you who should have "utmost sensitivity" towards items which do not belong to you.

Snowi · 28/03/2007 15:46

Hey bakedpotato, I would have done exactly the same as you! Unfortunately some people in this world just can't be bothered! Good on you! I'm a small girl & find myself forever jumping out of people's way (bump or no bump) who pretend not to see me, otherwsie I get knocked off my feet!

KathyMCMLXXII · 28/03/2007 15:48

But Pennies, surely by leaving it in the aisle the woman was not treating her own coat with much sensitivity?

Blu · 28/03/2007 15:52

The coat was in the aisle?

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