Little girls should not wear bikinis

[SpiritedLondon]

On Saturday I'm heading off on holiday with my DH and DD5. I have bought DD a new swimsuit and a bikini which I obviously think is cute. I happened to mention this to FIL who was visiting and who immediately announced in front of DD that little girls should not wear bikinis.( he didn't like it and didn't think it was appropriate) I was slightly about it. Later on that evening I raised the subject with DH and it became apparent that he doesn't really like the idea either....he kept making comments like " it does have a long top doesn't it?" Er no not really. Is this a thing? I don't really think it's a problem and I don't actually think I'm being unreasonable but if you think I am do you think you could tell me what you think the problem is so I can understand it.

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clothes don't sexualise people - people do!

A mini tankini thing is fine in my view (or nothing). You don't want a wet tummy when wearing a full swimsuit, especially when there is a bit of a breeze.

Bikinis for little girls have been around for decades and so are seen by other little girls who think it's what girls wear, nothing more to it.

Not especially but again I think if anyone looks at any child and thinks the words 'lewd, sexualised or innapropriate'may need dealing with their personal issues so they avoid passing such behaviour into their own children.

The variety of responses just proves to me that it's time we stopped using the word 'should' in relation to little girls and their clothing

I think it proves that we all draw the line in different places - but I suspect we do all draw it somewhere. Some of the posters who are happy with children in bikinis would probably object to little girls in thongs. Not because there's anything remotely sexual about a little girl's buttocks but because there's something sexual about a thong.
So I think the divide between people who are comfortable with kids in bikinis and people who aren't doesn't represent a divide between people who view children in a sexual way; it represents a divide between people who view bikinis as a sexual item of clothing.
We all can probably think of some item of clothing that we would find inappropriate on a little girl - regardless of how keen we are for women to make their own clothing choices - but because that item of clothing is associated with sexuality in our minds we're uncomfortable seeing it on a little girl. That doesn't make you some kind of paedo.

Agree wait for it!

Also very true Fernanie

I wouldn't put my daughters in a bikini top of the string and triangle variety. They always look uncomfortable and awkward on children. I think mine would also struggle to put them on properly.

The one in the op looks nice, but I can imagine it might ride up and become uncomfortable quite easily.

For the beach I think longer tankinis are the most comfortable and practical, or just bottoms. We don't go to super hot countries but if we did, a uv suit sounds best.

Under the age of 10 my DD just wore bikini bottoms on holiday. If it was v hot and I was worried about the sun she would put on a rash vest.
Bottoms look divine.

My two penneth - I think it's cute OP, and not at all inappropriate.
From a practical POV, as a tall person (5'11") I spent my childhood/teen/early 20s in swimming cossies that cut me in 2 - long backs aren't considered by costume designers- my first bikini/tankini was a revelation!
Also, yy to 'clothes don't sexualise girls/women, the minds of the people looking at them do.'
Your dd will be comfy, larking about at the pool and have no idea there's even a controversy about what she's wearing - long may that continue

I guess it's all about the context. A few dress their kids in high fashion club wear style . It looks ridiculous and cringe, but its virtually non existent .
My DM was so prudish, hung up about female body parts, she didn't even use the words- ever! It definitely rubbed off on me. It's good to see girls embrace body confidence. My dd wears similar in the gymnasium. I wouldn't have her in tescos with just that but the beac definitely- just the same as I'd die if D.P took too off in tescos.

I don't like them at all. Why wear a bikini top if they don't have breasts? Either a full swim suit or just bikini pants.

Not especially but again I think if anyone looks at any child and thinks the words 'lewd, sexualised or innapropriate'may need dealing with their personal issues so they avoid passing such behaviour into their own children.

As the poster who picked me up on "lewd" has not come back, I'll respond to you. It is not the child who is lewd, it is the clothes. A string and triangle bikini is very sexual by design. It's a representation of adult women that presents problems when transposed to children, many of whom do not choose the costume.

Have to admit I really don't like the bikinis that look like adult bikinis on little girls DD5 has bottoms only with a uv top for middle of the day.

Long tankinis are ok, swimsuits are ok and even just wearing the bottoms of a bikini is ok but I find little triangle bikini tops on. little girls rally weird and I don't like them.

It's the fact the triangle tops are pointless unless they are to hide boobs and little girls don't have them. I don't care if I see kids in them as they aren't exactly unusual but I definitely don't like them.

Absolutely nothing wrong with bikinis, in fact it never crossed my mind until I saw these posts about them popping up. It says more about the people with a problem with the idea of it. Children are not sexual, end of.
They are practical for throwing on and using the loo without the faff of unzipping/pulling down a costume (for younger children). Any responsible parent will smother their DD in SPF anyway.
I would appreciate FIL and dad to keep their hysteria/disproval out of earshot of my daughter, who is too young to start focussing on body image and if they look 'appropriate' or not.

Must admit I don't like it either unfortunately my 6yo does and has one x

a string or triangle bikini on a child is very sexual in nature

How on earth can you think that? I loved them as a kid in the 70s and had lots

My mum as a normal woman let me choose what I wore on a beach holiday as it's you know a fun time.

Thongs are different as they increase massively the risk of urine infections especially in children.

I let my kids choose their own clothes as long as they were safe for the activity we were doing. My girls had bikinis and went with just bottoms on. The boys had speedos and baggy.

again anyone looking at any child and thinking they look sexual needs help.

Why wear a bikini top if they don't have breasts? Either a full swim suit or just bikini pants.

Why wear a full swim suit if they have no breasts? Surely by your reasoning it should be only pants regardless. The top of a swimsuit is designed to cover breasts.

I'd draw the line on triangle ones too, In the 70s we didn't realise the mass child abuse that was occouring. A child should be a child. Once you show F.I.L and DP they would be fine. I'd rather a male reparative was a bit protective and u don't think he meant to over critise. Mine wouldn't be in a body con dress for example until age appropriate . If they've picked out items in say primark , I just tell them no it's far to grown up and they choose something else. The costume you picked IS age appropriate.

The costume sexualises the child by making them ape the sexualised costume of the adult.

And I disagree.

A bikini with padding to emulate breasts, yes. A flat piece of fabric? No.

This argument just goes round and round in pointless circles though.

Pretty much every summer on MN in fact.

I think it is more of an issue with older children actually - pre teens.

DD is 11 and 5'3" tall. It is a struggle to find clothes that do not make her look 15 and I have had to have the discussion about some clothing being too grown up for her.

Absolutely nothing is sexual about a young girl wearing a bikini. If you really broke down the argument that they shouldn't be wearing child versions of adult clothes

Do your small daughters wear push-up bras? Stockings and suspenders? High heels?

Whoever this was who replied to me missed out the bit that said "the argument falls apart" about children wearing adult clothes.

Historically, children were dressed like adults. There is absolutely nothing new about this. Children (boys) incidentally also wore high heels at one point. Girls wore corsets - a lot like push up bras - from an early age. Stockings were held up by suspenders and buttons. Dresses and suits were just scaled down versions of adult ones.

Some things quite rightly have gone for medical reasons (corsets!) but let's get over the idea that this is a new thing, or something shocking. It's not. As fashions change, kids clothes change too.

Take an easy example like children wearing ties to school... it's absolutely not necessary, it's frankly a bit weird when you think about it, especially putting girls in them when women don't wear them.

Why do we put little boys in bow ties at weddings? Or waistcoats? Or kilts?

Why do women's and kid's jeans have flies when clearly we don't use them like men do and there are other ways to fasten up trousers in other styles?

Why do baby boy trousers often have a fake sewn up fly? Surely the most pointless extra detail 😂

Any style of bikini is fine OP in my opinion. And no man has the right to say what his granddaughter wears 🙄