DS is 17 in September and thoughts are turning to driving lessons, car etc. DS knows we are looking at around 2k for car insurance, plus lessons, driving licence, test costs etc.
He refuses to think about getting a PT job over the holidays or anything after the holidays as he feels he doesn't want to get a job 'at his age' and that when he goes back to school in September he'll be too busy doing his a levels (maths, chem, biology) to be able to work.
His life consists of staying up until 2/3am on the Xbox then sleeping in until lunchtime every day. He will sit around and wait for his food to be brought to him (or he just snacks from the fridge) and he needs to be told to shower / clean teeth etc.
He let slip today that his friend has got a job in McDonald's so I suggested that with the big expense of getting him on the road looming it might be a good idea to try and get a job there too. Nope, I don't want to do that he said, don't fancy working in McDonald's. Anyway, he said. You are the parent, it's your responsibility to keep me until I'm an adult (and further if he's in university etc) and then I'll get a proper job.
His attitude sickens me to be honest. There's no drive in him at all, he appears to have done well in his GCSEs but he's naturally bright so he didn't exactly work his socks off before them.
He's appalled to think I'm expecting him to WORK over his holidays, holidays are just that apparently, a break from working. Never mind he's just returned from a 3 week Florida holiday.
At the moment he doesn't ask for money as he has no social life at all. Fine but I do think it wouldn't hurt him to try and earn a bit towards getting on the road. Perhaps I'm BU? Do all parents just pay for everything?
AIBU?
AIBU Or is DS?
strumthehairyharp · 01/08/2017 19:44
£1000 in savings won't go far in the learning to drive,paying for theory,paying for test plus instructor on the day AND funding a car and insurance and tax and mots and tyres !!!!
Tell him your meeting his basic needs in food water electric internet and a roof over his head and that's ALL the needs you will be meeting unless he gets off his ass and works.
End of conversation.
Once his friends are earning and wanting to go out and to the cinema and out for food etc etc in the summer and he comes to you for a hand out and you say no hel soon realise what an idiot he's being 
I would be restricting internet access and only buying basics in food with an attitude like that.
I'm speaking from experience whereby my ds was told at 15 that he either gets a part time job to fund any extras he wants and when he starts at college he also needs a weekend job to pay towards driving and a car etc he wouldn't get any help from me.
He's 19 now and passed his test in April.
His car was purchased from inheritance but his tax insurance and petrol is covered solely by him and he works damn hard to keep his car on the road.
Put your foot down now op and it will pay off.
If not you will be back here in two years with the same problem
Jesus this is going to be me in 1 years time and seriously I do have to nag my son about personal hygiene. He actually said to me the other day I didn't remind him to put any perspirant on!!!!. In contrast my son is not bright and won't get any GCSE,s either. A job is going to be a nightmare he hated work experience.
I think you suck it up regarding the car lessons and insurance if you can afford it as later down the line when he isn't a teenage dick anymore these will have set him up for life. I would just start introducing some boundaries regarding his iPhone and wifi. So for example I will pay this until the next contract is due then its yours either you pay for it or you lose it. He will probably just come into his own when he's ready but if he no life lessons it might be a real shock one day when you turn off the tap try the slowly slowly approach 
Take the x box controllers. Hide them in the attic. He can have them back when he has secured himself a job. One of my colleagues struggled with her son - a very bright kid who seemed to think life would just work out for him with no effort put in. She would regularly bring his x box controllers into work when he was on study leave to encourage him to revise. One day, she didn't get a ranty phone call and discovered his friends had bought controllers to her house. The next day she came into work with the x box. 
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Not so very long ago "at his age" he would have had a (bloody hard) job for about 3 years, and his wages would have gone into the family funds, not his own pocket!
Okay - you have to keep him until he's an adult, but you are under no obligation even to fund him through university (though obviously you will).
It sounds as though just the discipline of getting out to work, and interacting with people, would do him the world of good.
Pint out you only have to feed, house and clothe him - and even then to a minimum standard. That's your onlylegal obligation (bread and cheese, warm shed, some used sacking fashioned into primitive garments ) - and that your biggest responsibility as a parent into teach him to take responsibility for himself.
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