...to feel constantly depressed about only child?

[user1494250093]

I love my six-year-old to bits. But it feels like evry second of every day I look at her and think that she's going to be unhappy as an only child. My dad was an only (and deeply unhappy) and I know that I'm projecting his feelings onto my child. However, it's really ripping me up inside. I feel guilty every second.
Me and DP are not 'natural' parents – and having dc nearly ended our relationship (we put way too much pressure on ourselves). How can I learn to live with, or get past, this guilt?

I'm an only child, very happy. In fact some times I feel sorry for my two, knowing that they will never have as much attention as I did from my parents and family. I have always felt special as an only child and I think from meeting other adults who are also only children, we have a lot of similar positive skills and traits - COntrary to the belief that we must all be spoilt brats! X

I'm a mum of two dc aged 6 & 2. They fight constantly, the youngest keeps kicking, scratching at & pulling the eldest's hair. I've spent much of the school holidays doing time out & am stressed & exhausted. I love younger dc to bits but honestly, life was so much easier with 1!

I was very close to my sister as a child but as an adult she has caused me nothing but unhappiness and she does nothing to help with the care of my mum.
Having siblings sometimes isn't that great!

@talonofthehawk .. I will not make my dd have the responsibility Of my son and nor should your parents . I will make sure he has accommodation / funding organised now for his future . No way , no how is he going to be her problem !!

I'm an only, and although I sometimes wished I had a sibling as a child I wasn't unhappy, learned to love my own company and had plenty of friends.

DH on the other hand has two sisters - and wishes he was an only child! He's currently NC with both of them, and they are with each other too.

YABU as you are ruining your enjoyment of being a mother. Plenty of women can't have any children. I say this as a women with secondary infertility who tried desperately to have a 2nd for ten years although I was lucky as it didn't interfere with my love of time around her, the opposite as I cherished it all. C'mon op, you are a lucky blessed lady so love what you have

Don't guilt yourself with the an Only is a Lonely bollocks, OP. Onlies are often confident, can make friends but cope with time alone and be quite self reliant in lots of ways. FWIW I've loved being an only and I am grateful for it as I have had lots of advantages due to not sharing time, resources, financial resources and affection and I have a very tight bond with my parents. I have never had to compete and I am secure in being the favourite. Whilst I worry about caring for them alone as they age, I know some people with siblings who have emigrated - they may help financially but not physically- and one friend has a sister who has deliberately walked away from the family- she's now effectively an only. Am I really worse off? I have no one to resent, fight with or contest a will against and my parents don't expect me to give up my life for their care just because they have no other DC to help (although obviously I won't just leave them) .

I find onlies attract onlies, too. A lot of my friends are onlies and we chat through our worries about the future together. We pointedly try to be there for each other. I've also just started dating a happy only (we get each other in an Only way) and I only really want 1 DC if I'm lucky enough to have a family. It's not for everyone.... but as previous posts have shown, neither is multiple motherhood or siblinghood.

Having a sibling doesn't guarantee help with elderly relatives. My dad's sister made his life hell by burying her head in the sand and refusing to accept that she had dementia and needed a nursing home... Didn't lift a finger to help but wouldn't agree to a nursing home either.

I am an unhappy only child. But that is because my parents poured all their expectations onto me and were disappointed when I didn't turn out how they hoped. Don't do that to your kid and you'll be fine. :)