CFN SpanGran has landed thread #8

[WhatIsThisWatt]

Hi guys! Wow I've just had a chance to come back on and noticed the last thread is full already?!

There also seems to be loads of people saying they're over it and don't believe me. That's fine, I'm not going to get into an argument with anyone. I had no idea that I would get so many responses when I initially asked for advice on this situation, however, they have really cheered me up through what has been a really crappy few days at points. Thanks all.

Sorry if ive pissed people off.

Anyway my Grandma has landed at the airport and should be with me in a couple of hours. It's not even that far away (she likes to take her time)

Fin of the semen. That's thread #9's title sorted then!

Freudian

Poor little sossidge! Give her cuddles from me.

This is all awesome. I am a skimmer, but when I am child free next week I shall read it all!

OP, is SpanGran glam?

Limited

Of course!

What was I thinking!

@schade I cannot wait for Abuela!! I've been so ill over the weekend, these threads have given me life. I've been all warm and smiley and sing-songy. 😌

I also discovered EKL. My life is complete. 😍

"Sabre,nostril cream for the evening of the day, and are ready for the apocalypse"...
Bloody glorious!

yous are all bizarro

x

About 17 threads ago, I think Whattyy was in the middle of making a Steak Pie when this all kicked off.
In honour of that Steak Pie, I give you...
American Steak Pie
Must be sung to the Don Maclean version not sodding Madonna's travesty

A long long time ago
I can still remember how
My garden used to make me smile.
But neighbours saw it with a glance,
Being cheeky, took a chance,
Took an inch? They fucking took a mile!

The Planning Bods were all aquiver
A Desist note they did deliver
Bad news for the buyer
Permission they require.

All of Mumsnet loudly cried,
"The Cheeky Fuckers cannot hide!
The builders best not step outside..."
The Day that mumsnet went wild

They were singing...

Why? Why? Cheeky Fuckers! they cry
Poor old Whattyy, going potty, won't let it lie.
She and her mate, drinking whiskey and rye
Singin' " access we are going to deny,
Access we are going to deny"

(up tempo)
Did you read that it's Grade Two?
Or do you just not have any clue?
Did the owners tell you so?
Do you not know that it's Listed?
Any change must be resisted
And the Planners are already in the know....

(middle bridge)
(we think her mate's in love with Ken
She went for wine, was gone til ten
They both kicked off their shoes
Then he sent her home with booze)

Then came the builders, in their truck
They smoked some fags, they made some muck,
They simply did not give a fuck
The Day that Mumsnet went wild...

Why? Why? Cheeky Fuckers! they cry
Poor old Whattyy, going potty, won't let it lie.
She and her mate, drinking whiskey and rye
Singin' " access we are going to deny,
Access we are going to deny"

Wait what happened when the CFNs came back?? I missed that bit and have been following along for almost 8 threads!!

@BreakfastAtSquiffanys fucking awesome!!!

I have just downloaded the app because of this thread. On hols with very limited wifi Di just trying to find the ops bits!

SpanGran needs her own MN login, surely? The better to update us with if there are happenings while you're at work. And surely MN Classics will keep her entertained all winter.

#when CFN's came back...
Posted by Watty at 10.59am

*Oh My God. I don't know if I can even type I'm so angry. Excuse any mistakes.

Turned the corner to walk down my road and notice 2 white vans parked outside.

Cue me half running/ staggering down the road coffee in hand trying to find my house keys and mobile phone whilst trying not to have a heart attack.

Anyway both vans empty, no branding or anything on the side, no sign of anyone.

I eventually get into my flat and can HEAR CFN NEXT DOOR.

I went out the back and knocked on the shitty fucking doors After I see them wandering around inside.

Cue looks of despair and horror from THE SAME CFN THAT SCARPERED WHEN I SPOKE TOTHEM LAST WEEK.

They all just looked at each other for what felt like forever, it was honestlylike something out of a comedy film.

Eventually one of them came and opened the door, I asked them if they had read my note(s), to be met with more blank stares all round. I then asked if it was them who have bought the flat, and if not who has?

I think one of them was very unconvincingly trying to pretend he couldn't speak English and didn't understand, whilst backing away from me. The older one eventually says that they are just there to collect the rest of their things and finish the bathroom. They will be very quick apparently. 

They would not engage with me any further about the note, the new doors or the planning dept OR ANYTHING. I told them not to enter the garden for any reason and that I was going to call the planning department straight away. Then left as I wasn't getting anywhere.

My hands are shaking!! I've spoken to lovely planning lady, who admitted she couldn't really tell me the ins and outs but they know who the CFN unregistered cowboys are and are dealing with it through their proper channels. She also said this case is TOP PRIORITY.

I'm waiting on a call back from the other people that I have informed (don't want to say too much or have to go through another name change fiasco so that's all I'll say on that)

I'm off to see Ken to ask if he noticed what time they arrived.

AAAAAARRRGGGHHHHHHHH FUCKETY FUCKING TWATS.*

Cuppa,

"...the cheerleading to do daft stuff like the tape incident isn't helpful though and could end up undermining OP's case."

Fair point.

Though most fantasy revenge scenarios suggested were/ still are precisely that...therapeutic for us all to imagine whilst the official planning/ legal action creaks into gear.

(Feel a bit guilty now that I posted an old film pic of Miriam Margolyes, if playing AbuelaSpanGran, aiming a rifle at FuckwitBuilders. Though, admittedly, the RL chances of her armed and sitting vigil in OP's garden are a tad less likely than taping up doors).

OP herself admitted a few too many s and stress-relieving shenanigans with GLF/ DTB responsible...anyway all righted again now and no harm done.
(Mind you, an indignant SpanGran + + leftover Gorilla Tape could lead to all sorts...have you hidden it, OP?!).

Heh. Great translations SchadenfreudePersonified

CFN's (though I want to somehow abreviate to CMcCcfn's in my head) came back as OP was on her way home with coffee to update us.
She saw them and was on fire as she confronted them, one said he was finishing the bathroom and the other pretended he didn't speak English.
OP has heard them speaking in an English dialect (I think, unless I read too fast).
Friend (and friend of friend) delivered big heavy bench (not sure where, not confirmed in front of new door).
Gran must be arriving/here so OP is enlightening her atm.
Bloody brilliant topic, shit for OP but what a community. Sad to read in the thread that there were other threads dissing this one.

breakfast I think I love you

OMG Schadenfreudepersonified!
That translation is hysterical! No more of that please, I have an extremely weak bladder!

lol oi! My Spanish is better than that!!! Shove over and let me fix that for you.

Bienvenidos a inglaterra, Abuelita de España! Estamos muy contentos de conocerte
is not Hello Spanish Granny. Here are the contents of the concert
it's Welcome to England, SpanGran! We are very pleased to meet you.

Estábamos esperando todo el fin de semana para que usted venga!
is not We hope you find the fin of the semen (gosh darn it Schadenfreude) which has been filled with vengeance
it's We have been waiting all weekend for you to come!

Hablamos de ti todo el fin de semana.
is not We have a lot of the fin of the semen (Don't make me come over there, Schadenfreude )
it's We have been talking about you all weekend.

"¡Abuelita de España, con sartén en la mano, va a venir para salvar el día!"
is not Spanish Granny! We are certain that you have hands, and we urge youth salivate on them today!
it's SpanGran, with pan in hand, she will come to save the day!

Queremos que tu sabes, nosotros creemos que su nieta está diciendo la verdad, y la apoyamos.
is not We hope you also have a sabre, nostril cream for the evening of the day, and are ready for the apocalypse
it's We want you to know, we believe your granddaughter is telling the truth, and we support her.

Esperamos que puedas hacer paella mientras estás con tu nieta.
is not We especially hope that your paella pan survived the hazardous journey and is ready to be used tonight.
it's We hope that you can make paella while you're with your granddaughter. (Well, that one was almost on the money!)

Un abrazo de nueva zelanda,
is not An abrasion from New Zealand
it's a hug from New Zealand.

Cast aspersions on my Spanish, will you!!?? While I'm industriously recapping the saga, will you!!?? I know I"m not perfect, but surely I'm better than you gave me credit for!!!!

I love this thread. I am a part skimmer as sometimes I run out of time and want to be brought up to date as quickly as possible. The songs and poems I have read are outstanding- you are all so clever!!

One day, I would dearly love to be like Span Gran to my DGC. To fly over from Spain to help and protect you is a big inspiration - she is my hero!!

Now, onto stopping those CFBs!

Watching with interest...

Schaden,

Oh God, I'm in hysterics!
Every time I re-read your translation, I set myself off again.

Make it stop. PLEASE

Freudian,
Hope she recovers speedily, poor thing.

Ding! Ding! Round 8!

Bring it on