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AIBU?

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Original poster

**Posting for traffic** tricked by social services

102 replies

TaliaAlCool · 31/07/2017 11:45

This is a last resort believe me I never thought in my worst nightmares I would have to post this.

My story is extremely outing so I can't give details but I need help.

Is anyone a senior social services manager or worker or a solicitor or someone who thinks they can help and pm me?

My social worker has a personal vendetta against me (I only had her originally because I fled to a refuge, no neglect or abuse from me)

I'm on the brink of losing everything because of her lies and tricks. Who do I go to when all the professionals believe her because of her position?

Please pm me if you think you can advise.

  • a desperate mother
OP posts:
itstoolateforthisbollox · 03/08/2017 10:51

Social worker 2 then placed ds with ex some weeks later. I can't give any more answers and neither could she

This makes no sense. A social worker can't (alone) place your child with anyone. Unless there is a court order that your ex gets residency, you can simply go and collect your child and take them with you.

MargaretTwatyer · 03/08/2017 10:56

The one about the refuge has been deleted (presumably at the OPs request. It was under this username though, the header shows up on google.

IIRC she was in repeated contact with the DP and they were even discussing their movements with each other. This would not only have put the OP at risk but also the other women in the refuge of their whereabouts had leaked out. Ditto returning to her hometown where she could be followed back. The location of refuges are secret for a reason.

This story really does seem very odd...

Original poster
TaliaAlCool · 03/08/2017 11:02

I haven't posted about the refuge, I really think you're mistaken.
Yes I do now have a non molestation order against ex. Sw made it seem to me I had no choice but to give ds to ex. So technically yes if I knew where childminder was who looks after ds I could take him back but I worry that would look bad in court. He is applying for child arrangements order and so am I

OP posts:
Nickname0 · 03/08/2017 11:37

Taliaalcool numerous members gave you (or someone is posting under your username) advice on the thread about the refuge it gave advice on you safeguarding your children as you were asked to stay away from your home town or the refuge workers would report to SS and they mentioned a child protection plan

JustDontGetItAtAll · 03/08/2017 11:41

Go to CAB and request to see a Legal Advisor - It's free x

itstoolateforthisbollox · 03/08/2017 11:43

So you know that you have every right to your child and could go and get him right now, and yet you don't?

Nickname0 · 03/08/2017 11:44

I don't understand how a child is removed from a parent (at a refuge and said parent is saying they are doing everything right) and placed with another who they originally had not wanted a child to be near?(OP mentioned she was asked to leave the refuge because of this) Have I missed something?

itstoolateforthisbollox · 03/08/2017 11:46

Yes, the child hasn't been removed by anyone. OP gave the child to her ex.

Nickname0 · 03/08/2017 11:51

It'stolate - ok I've clearly missed that out

OP why did you give your son to him? Are you back at your own home with your eldest?

Original poster
TaliaAlCool · 03/08/2017 11:57

I'm with family with my eldest. I gave ds to ex because sw 2 made statements such as "if you take him anywhere we will just get the police" and "we are looking at placing him with his father" and "if you don't he's going to court today and we will be supporting him to get ds anyway"

So to my knowledge j had no choice. I didn't know about ss procedures or my rights at the time.

OP posts:
Notreallyarsed · 03/08/2017 12:03

Have they given you a reason for placing him with his dad? That might be somewhere to start with a solicitor. They can't just tell you they're doing it without a reason.

itstoolateforthisbollox · 03/08/2017 12:03

But you know now. The police will not do anything. If you both go to court looking for an arrangements order it will look bad for you that you gave him the child. How can you tell the court that he is a danger to the children if you voluntarily gave him one of them?

go and get your son.

Nickname0 · 03/08/2017 12:05

Did they mention that he was at risk with you? Have you got a LAC form or paperwork for the children's at risk register case that is due to take place soon? Normally they would assist in finding you a secure place to live if your current accommodation was messy as you said SW mentioned that.

I volunteered at a family assessment/refuge and would know most of the procedures, I'm very confused at your situation.

QuiteLikely5 · 03/08/2017 12:14

The youngest is with his father because they feel leaving him with you he was at risk of significant harm.

Maybe for neglect? Emotional or physical

Did your ex have text messages you sent him?

Did the refuge say you could not cope?

The fact is that when you voluntarily handed your child over they must have told you why it was necessary???? You do know

Yes it's common for SW to say hand over voluntarily and if you refuse they can take a number of urgent measures to allow it to happen anyway

It would not be wise to show up and Collect your son unless you are absolutely certain that you are not a risk to your son and never have been.

You have not shown how the SW has lied?

By contacting your abuser you showed that you cannot put your own needs above those of your children. Your children need to be protected from your relationship dynamics. You took your dd there even though you said she is terrified of him?

I'm assuming he is not classed as a risk to your son as long as you are both not together?

Did your ex tell SS you broke the agreement? Who told them you met up?

Floggingmolly · 03/08/2017 12:16

What you've quoted the sw as saying in your last post doesn't signal "no choice but to hand ds over" to me Confused
You're leaving out huge chunks of (obviously very relevant) parts of the story, because none of this makes any sense.

Nickname0 · 03/08/2017 12:17

We are asking questions OP to help but it seems that a bit is missing, you could go and take your son as there is no order. can you ask your lawyer to request/submit a residency order today? Ring your child's Senior SW and express you have concerns and that you are taking him back, they cannot remove children without a valid reason other than the house was messy!

Floggingmolly · 03/08/2017 12:22

How could anyone not understand that they were expected not to contact their abuser after being placed in a refuge?? And the contact must have come from you, refuges being what they are...
Are you seriously claiming you didn't realise you couldn't just continue to meet up, op?

Notevilstepmother · 03/08/2017 12:22

You seem to be unclear as to why your youngest is with his father and what you should do about this. As I said before I think you need a support worker or advocate of some sort.

If your ex is a risk then your child should not be with him.

If SW said he should go to your ex presumably they think you are the risk and not him.

This does not make sense. This needs sorting out so that you know why the SW told you to give the baby to your ex and if this was a mistake it can changed.

If it wasn't a mistake you need to know why they think you are not looking after the baby and address this issue.

Nickname0 · 03/08/2017 12:23

Op things don't add up, your child cannot be threatened to be removed without a valid reason. You are either keeping alot of information from this (denying previous threads) or you are a troll

Nickname0 · 03/08/2017 12:27

Flogging OP did understand her previous threads said asked should she go! She stated why she shouldn't but said she was Lonely and missed her hometown. Numerous members advised her it was a really bad decision to go and warned her of SS procedures of an at risk plan / removing children and op stated that the refuge Workers would report her to SS if she went

NachoAddict · 03/08/2017 12:29

Do you have a court date to apply for residency of your son? If you speak to the CAB they can arrange a barrister to help you.

Floggingmolly · 03/08/2017 12:40

Oh I see, nickname. Car crash...

MargaretTwatyer · 03/08/2017 12:47

Someone posted about the refuge under your username. The header of the thread is still visible on Google although it goes to 'page csan't be found' if followed.

**Posting for traffic** tricked by social services
Fairenuff · 03/08/2017 12:53

I haven't posted about the refuge, I really think you're mistaken.

Look, OP I did an advanced search on the username you are using on this thread. It showed your other thread that you posted when you were in the refuge. I'm not mistaken. How else could I have known that you were in touch with your ex whilst you were at the refuge and that you were planning to go back to your home town which was against all directives?

I don't doubt that you need help now but lying to people isn't going to help your case. People remember. You won't be able to keep track of what you've said to who and holes will appear in your story. Especially as most things will be documented.

Social worker 1 made me sign an agreement (after refuge eviction all happened) to not let ex see dd because frankly by this point she was scared of him

This was because you returned to your home town from the refuge to let him see the children. They made you sign it because they are trying to protect your dd from him. Something that you failed to do at the time.

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 03/08/2017 14:20

If you want help, you are going to have to be honest. Nobody can advise if you give half truths and it won't help you regain residency of your youngest.