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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

**Posting for traffic** tricked by social services

102 replies

TaliaAlCool · 31/07/2017 11:45

This is a last resort believe me I never thought in my worst nightmares I would have to post this.

My story is extremely outing so I can't give details but I need help.

Is anyone a senior social services manager or worker or a solicitor or someone who thinks they can help and pm me?

My social worker has a personal vendetta against me (I only had her originally because I fled to a refuge, no neglect or abuse from me)

I'm on the brink of losing everything because of her lies and tricks. Who do I go to when all the professionals believe her because of her position?

Please pm me if you think you can advise.

  • a desperate mother
OP posts:
SecondBreakfast · 31/07/2017 17:02

Regarding taped conversations, I do know they are frowned upon, but I believe they are admissible in court if they are important.

SecondBreakfast · 31/07/2017 17:04

See here for example... www.acitylawfirm.com/recorded-conversations/

SecondBreakfast · 31/07/2017 17:07

Actually, this is a much more informative and relevant article here... www.ibblaw.co.uk/insights/blog/can-secret-recordings-be-used-family-proceedings

astoundedgoat · 31/07/2017 17:23

TaliaAlCool - Gobbolino was correcting an error in her own (helpful) post above, not yours.

Is your solicitor up to the situation, do you think? Or are they struggling?

astoundedgoat · 31/07/2017 17:24

Sorry - my internet stuck and waited ages to post my message. Apologies.

Bunnyfuller · 31/07/2017 17:31

Your barrister will prioritise this if you look to be losing your children. Saying the SW is lying is a massive allegation, and removal of children would need far more evidence than you imply there is there.

Are you not the poster who has been on a couple of times talking about SS removing your children?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 31/07/2017 17:34

Talia

Covert recordings may not under most circumstances be admissible BUT full transcripts of covert recordings are

NeedsAsockamnesty · 31/07/2017 17:44

And you are entitled to legal aid for family law if they are considering court to remove yours kids

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 31/07/2017 19:31

talia - don't worry. I know you didn't mean to be rude and I can totally understand why you are very stressed

Are you concerned about your solicitor and their capabilities? As another poster said, these are very serious but not uncommon allegations to be made in family/child proceedings. I would still very much suggest speaking to your solicitor about this

If you are concerned about their capabilities, it is acceptable to ask for a partner/senior associate to review the file and give you their views.

AdalindSchade · 31/07/2017 19:40

If you are in private law proceedings rather than care proceedings then you won't be entitled to legal aid, unless you have evidence of DV.
If you have recorded the social worker and the recordings demonstrate that you are right and they are wrong then you need to ask to meet with the highest manager you can find and let them hear them. They won't admit them in court but a manager should be open to listening. If they do not, make a complaint and escalate it

Lostthefairytale · 31/07/2017 19:41

The local authority will have a complaints team. Make a note of all dates you have tried to contact a manager and include this in your compliant. You should have been given a copy of the complaints procedure, if you haven't ask for it or check the website.

Miserylovescompany2 · 31/07/2017 20:03

With regard to your recordings - might I suggest you write down everything that has been said. State that you have copied word for word from your own personal recordings.

You can request a change of social worker however the LA are not legally obliged to give you one.

Original poster
TaliaAlCool · 02/08/2017 17:40

Thank you all again.
I haven't posted about this before so not me.
The position I an in now is the social worker told me if I didn't hand my baby to my abusive ex "we would support him in court today to get him anyway" and "if you take him somewhere we will call the police" there are more comments like this and not knowing the procedures this sounded to me obviously like I had no choice. Therefore I haven't seen my baby in a month.
The reason as were involved at all were because I went to refuge.
They then put my two children on child in need plan which stated the reason for that being that I was then staying with a friend so technically had no home.
This social worker now has escalated things to child protection. So I have that first meeting soon.
When I asked her why she was vague a total of 4 times before finally saying it was because the friends house I stayed at with the kids was "messy"
She used my lack of knowledge to give my son to my ex but yet my older child is fine to stay with me? That's one thing that confuses me.
I know she very much likes my ex (abusive men are so charming when they want to be aren't they?)
I'm also confused how even though ds is now with ex and dd with me in a stable home they ate NOW moving it up to child protection?
Social have acknowledged btw that ex was emotionally abusive to the children.
I just don't understand any of it

OP posts:
itstoolateforthisbollox · 02/08/2017 17:47

In my experience when people complain about SW etc having a vendetta against them, its almost always means that the SW is doing their job and the person complaining doesn't like them doing so. One usually finds that their solicitor, legal aid, family and friends are also "against them".

One social worker didn't put your children on any plan or pathway, it would have been a team decision.

Notevilstepmother · 02/08/2017 17:47

Do you have any support from the domestic violence charities?

Is there any evidence of the abuse?

If it's just going to child protection does this mean they are having a conference? If it's a conference it doesn't mean they want to take the child/children.

It may be the CP is about your ex not you?

The person in charge of the CP conference should speak to you without the social worker there so that would be a good time to get this sorted out.

I'm not a SW but have been in CP conferences to support the mum or Dad in the past. You can take a support worker as well as a solicitor.

I suggest you get a support worker of your own if you can, try DV charities or housing support.

Notevilstepmother · 02/08/2017 17:55

www.frg.org.uk/images/Advice_Sheets/9-child-protection-procedures.pdf

It is long but you should read it if you can.

Xeneth88 · 02/08/2017 17:58

@TaliaAlCool I have been through issues with ss a few years ago, not in a similar way though but please feel free to pm me if you need any support/help etc.

Fairenuff · 02/08/2017 18:04

Did you voluntarily leave the refuge and take your children back to your home town, expressly against their directive?

Miserylovescompany2 · 02/08/2017 18:12

Is your ex father to both DC?

Have you seen all the paperwork submitted by children's services? If not, request this via your solicitor and then go through it with a fine toothed comb.

What category do state, when mentioning a child protection plan?

Miserylovescompany2 · 02/08/2017 18:15

Might I also suggest you request all information held on your children & yourself under the freedom of information act. (Cost of up to £50 per person)

You have to request information on each person separately and can only do so if you have parental responsibility.

Notreallyarsed · 02/08/2017 18:23

In my experience when people complain about SW etc having a vendetta against them, its almost always means that the SW is doing their job and the person complaining doesn't like them doing so.

Maybe it's like that in some cases, but not all. I've had reason to have SW contact (not for my children I might add, but for vulnerable children in the family) and she DID have a personal vendetta against DP because he disagreed with something she said and she went all out to cause us all kinds of problems. It broke me mentally, so not all SW are professional. Equally not all are arseholes, just sharing my experience.

itstoolateforthisbollox · 02/08/2017 18:25

I did say in my personal experience (which is extensive) and ALMOST always.

Notreallyarsed · 02/08/2017 18:27

No I know, I wasn't arguing, I was just sharing my experience alongside yours. In the same case there were 2 very good SW who looked at what was best for the children involved, not using their power to cause havoc.

Captainj1 · 02/08/2017 18:28

I think she was correcting her own grammar OP, from the post immediately before. I don't have any advice but good luck.

Original poster
TaliaAlCool · 02/08/2017 21:05

I was evicted from refuge because I went back for the day and during that day I saw ex partner. It was stupid of me but that's what happened. I allowed him to see the kids for half an hour in a public place because stupidly I let him convince me it was the right thing to do. After that the first sw I had (who was very professional) advised me to try to stay in hometown because of how much dd loves her school and refuge has affected her badly.
I understand what's being said about 'usually' and I would agree with you. I'm betting 99% of social workers are in it for the welfare of the children, completely professional and I'm under no illusions that social services want to 'steal children' or any of that rubbish.
But I also know that this particular social worker lied to me and is pushing for further action despite no risk of harm to either child. Both of my children have always lived in a clean and tidy home, I love them both unconditionally and tell them so. They are red decent meals and dd has good attendence. They are clean and confident and we go out on trips when we can afford it and play games or read when we cant.
All I'm trying to say is, we are a normal family. I'm nowhere CLOSE to a perfect mother, I make mistakes like everyone else but my children are cared for, provided for and loved.
They tell you to leave if your partner is abusive. I left and from that moment I did everything ss asked me to do. I went to refuge, I came back and kept her in her school, I did the freedom programme, I loaded with women's aid and children's centres. That was what they asked and I did it all because I trusted them.
I wish I'd stayed with my ex and just taken it in a way. At least I'd still see my little boy. It's his first birthday soon.

OP posts: