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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hen Do's / Don't Tell The Bride

102 replies

MommaGee · 30/07/2017 21:31

Aibu to think that if you went on a hen do, you wouldn't expect the bride to finance it all?
So why on DTTB do the hens always get so aggrieved if the meal isn't paid for and if booze isn't pit on for them. I'm working class like most of the people on the show. I've never been to a hen do where I've not paid for my own food and drink

OP posts:
whyhastherumgone · 30/07/2017 21:33

Think it's been bevause usually at that point they have some idea that the groom took his friends to an all expenses paid vegas break or something.

But I agree - hen do isn't usually paid for by the bride.

Guess it's just to ramp up the entertainment!

toolonglurking · 30/07/2017 21:34

I think it's more common for the bride not to pay at all, but the rest cover the bride's costs.
Don't tell the bride is flipping brilliant, but you are right, that doesn't make sense!

Supersoaryflappypigeon · 30/07/2017 21:34

We always used to say this when we watched it!! So entitled. And the bridesmaids that expect expensive dresses Angry

Original poster
MommaGee · 30/07/2017 21:35

Fiat watching the new series- wow she's accepting!!!!

OP posts:
MadMags · 30/07/2017 21:35

It might be part of the show?

VestalVirgin · 30/07/2017 21:37

Depends - if the hen do is just an evening at the local pub, then everyone paying for their own drinks is fine.

But if there's a bridezilla who wants to have everything exactly as she chooses, and she chooses an expensive venue ... well, that's very different.

Xeneth88 · 30/07/2017 21:38

Probably because they're given £12,000 ish and want their share. Especially when the groom ususally ships his mates off somewhere nice. It's way more scripted than it's made out to be. We did a dress for one show and it's not at all how it looks to be on t.v..

Triskaidekaphilia · 30/07/2017 21:39

I think it's because it's just a part of the show that they're meant to plan and pay for it, same with the stag do, I don't think it's a reflection on the 'real life' versions of these events.
As PP said though, some brides/bridesmaids are super entitled! At the same time nearly all of them enjoy the wedding at the end except for the truly crap ones.

Celticlassie · 30/07/2017 21:39

I'm the same. We would probably chip in and pay for the bride's meal / activity, etc, but I would never expect the bride to foot the bill for me to attend their hen do.

The stag is the same. No man I know would expect a night out paid for by one of his mates without paying his share. Most men I know fight their way to the bar to buy a round.

HarrietKettleWasHere · 30/07/2017 21:44

They get £14000 don't they which the groom splashes a lot of for him and his mates to have a good old jolly on the stag. Hen usually 'loses out' when it comes to her night. There was one where he just booked a table at the local Indian with a budget of about £10 per person and he and his mates went abroad for an all expenses paid knees up.

I expect to pay for myself at a hen but if I had to factor in buying the bride's drinks and meal I'd be pissed off too if it was spbewgere pricey and she wasn't given a slice of that budget!

PunjanaTea · 30/07/2017 21:45

It's definitely part of the show that the groom has to organise and fund the hen and stag dos.

totally not normal in real life though.

HarrietKettleWasHere · 30/07/2017 21:45

*somewhere pricey.

JaneEyre70 · 30/07/2017 21:58

It's all part of the show, and also because all the hens will know that the groom is probably in Las Vegas or Prague and they're not getting a penny of the £12k!! Grin.

Original poster
MommaGee · 30/07/2017 22:06

I do remember the one where he went somewhere fab and she was in the local. I wonder how long these marriages last :(

OP posts:
Starlight2345 · 30/07/2017 22:09

is the new series on Channel 4?

Original poster
MommaGee · 30/07/2017 22:10

Yeah think so. Auto record...

OP posts:
Rubies12345 · 30/07/2017 22:12

It's part of the show and adds to the drama.

In real life the groom doesn't pick the dress either.

OhFuds · 30/07/2017 22:15

What I don't understand is why do the brides go on the show expecting the perfect day that they have dreamed of. Fair enough in series 1 but not in series 2, 3, 4 etc as everyone knows the weddings are never what the bride would have wanted.

Theresnonamesleft · 30/07/2017 22:16

The new one though I could see their point. He'd sent them all to Spain for their hen night. The basically let them know that he's booked a table at a club miles away and that was it. There was places near where they were staying that didn't include an expensive cab drive there and back.

Original poster
MommaGee · 30/07/2017 22:18

It was the original phone call - ok be pissed he asked for £150 but then they were lime "I need to take spending money?" as if he would be able to cover e very drink, snack and mealAndrew every day

OP posts:
redlittlesquirrel · 30/07/2017 22:19

is the new series on Channel 4?

E4, Wednesdays, 9pm.

Tottyandmarchpane1 · 30/07/2017 22:21

I would normally expect to pay but not to suddenly be told I needed to stump up £150 and then drinks etc on top to go without the option of saying no. If I was the bride tonight I would have been hugely apologetic to the bridesmaids whereas she seemed to be saying oh well it's once in a life time when they told her. No wonder the bridesmaids looked grumpy. The wedding tonight was frankly awful. I know it's entertainment but what an utter waste of money.

Guepe · 30/07/2017 22:25

You have to remember that the show isn't exactly 'real'.

For example, sometimes the producers will tell the groom that he's not allowed to pay towards the hen do, then will hand the bridge the bill for the sake of drama.

Guepe · 30/07/2017 22:29

The bride*

StuckInARut41 · 30/07/2017 22:31

Slightly off topic but I really like the program and have oft wondered if all the married couples since it started are still happily married? Id like to think so.