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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hen Do's / Don't Tell The Bride

102 replies

MommaGee · 30/07/2017 21:31

Aibu to think that if you went on a hen do, you wouldn't expect the bride to finance it all?
So why on DTTB do the hens always get so aggrieved if the meal isn't paid for and if booze isn't pit on for them. I'm working class like most of the people on the show. I've never been to a hen do where I've not paid for my own food and drink

OP posts:
IStoleDipsysHat · 30/07/2017 22:34

I think at least one of them is divorced now. Wasn't it that one who jetted off to Las Vegas and blew the lot so there was nothing left to bring the brides family over and she had to go out there on her own and she had to be persuaded to continue at the airport?

HarrietKettleWasHere · 30/07/2017 22:35

I knew a couple on it!

Earlier series- he took them to Muscle Beach in LA to get married and there wasn't enough in the budget to have all her close family there.

They divorced after two years.

bbcessex · 30/07/2017 22:37

I love this show!

Does anyone have inside knowledge? It seems so set up.. I need to know details !!!

Starlight2345 · 30/07/2017 22:42

I am watching episode 1 of new series..

Yes I do wonder why anyone would sign up..I am sure in the first ever series the weddings weren't so far removed from what bride would want.

StuckInARut41 · 30/07/2017 22:42

I remember the Muscle Beach episode! The groom was very keen on bodybuilding/working out I think? Gosh I think it was a bit of an extraordinary episode Grin I can't remember the Las Vegas episode, I keep thinking of the New York one where the groom wanted an Alice in Wonderland theme for his bride and she declared that her dress displayed her 'pubes' Shock so funny.

AccrualIntentions · 30/07/2017 22:45

Yeah I've always thought this was bollocks. And having been on a DTTB hen do, we also paid for ourselves on that...

whyhastherumgone · 30/07/2017 22:48

you went on a DTTB hen do??? Tell us more!!
I remember the muscle beach episode too - he seemed way more into working out than he did his bride to be :-/

winglesspegasus · 30/07/2017 22:50

its aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaALL scripted peopleGrin
and they are paid well for it

Floellabumbags · 30/07/2017 22:53

I keep thinking of the New York one where the groom wanted an Alice in Wonderland theme for his bride and she declared that her dress displayed her 'pubes'*

Was that the one where he'd booked the bridal party an apartment which was a shithouse and her mother kicked off?

AccrualIntentions · 30/07/2017 22:55

whyhastherumgone too outing - but yes it's all very scripted and they're still very happy together Smile

StuckInARut41 · 30/07/2017 22:58

Floella Yes I think it was! He bought her some Jimmy Choo brand shoes and all was well in the world though Smile I preferred the trainers lol

StuckInARut41 · 30/07/2017 23:00

Does anyone remember the episode where the bride was lowered gently into a stage on a pretty swing? I felt awful as she loathed being the centre of attention :( I've had quite severe mental health issues around anxiety for a while so I really felt for her Sad the swing was sweet though.

Alexandra87 · 30/07/2017 23:01

What I always wonder is why don't they just discuss everything together beforehand and then the groom basically arranges what they've already agreed on. I know that's not the point in the programme.

sailorcherries · 30/07/2017 23:01

The issue with Don't Tell The Bride, from a bridesmaid perspective, I think would be the inability to say no.

If the Bride refuses any part of the process then the couple owe the money back, which includes the Hen do. She cannot tell him her maids will not spend a stupid amount on a night on, and they cannot refuses without it being plastered all over the media.

As for Brides expecting their dream, it's entirely scripted. The producers make the bride visit a lovely venue, which is the complete opposite of what the Groom has picked, they make her try on dresses and so on. Couples don't get picked if they don't have a wacky idea, producers like to pitch in and change ideas etc. A couple down an interview on it and claimed a lot of the information isn't given until the legal paperwork is signed, at which point it's too late.

glitterglitters · 30/07/2017 23:11

I've heard in the initial call they'll ask the groom for his wacky ideas, pick the most outlandish one and say he has to go with it.

No partner in their right mind would actively make the choices on the show they actually do 🙈

Namechangeaholic · 30/07/2017 23:13

What I've always wanted to know is how is it legal? We had to put notice in for our registry office wedding in advance, you have to have your intention to marry read out if in a church for three weeks prior to the event and it all has to have the specific date and venue. So surely that has to be still done with these weddings?? I get that some of them have a legal ceremony after if they've gone for a bloody awful 'wacky' venue.

whyhastherumgone · 30/07/2017 23:18

This thread reminded me to catch up on the latest episode and omg. What was he THINKING. I get that they give wacky ideas but this is seriously minimal effort. Although bizarrely he seems very well intentioned

PunjanaTea · 30/07/2017 23:20

I was pondering earlier whether they've over done the shock tactics, and an episode where the groom does a fairly good job of putting a wedding together, but can't afford a cake might actually be more shocking than someone getting married on a tatty spanish beach.

What I did notice tonight was lots of emphasis on his three tubs of pringles for the reception but a passing remark about the BBQ he'd arranged Hmm

Babieseverywhere · 30/07/2017 23:23

I liked the one when the groom did a wardrobe doorway into a forest with loads of fairytale props and an outside ceremony.

I think they already had a child and the bride was really chilled and very pregnant.
They tried to wind her up loads and she didn't bite.

Even on her wedding day when all her bridesmaids were saying you have no shoes are you really worried and she said no, I have a pair of flip flops upstairs that will be fine :)

She was so relaxed and their wedding was so romantic. I hope they remained happily married.

jessie777 · 30/07/2017 23:23

Who does pick the dress then if not the groom??

And yes I've wondered about the length of time for calling of the banns, too. Hmm

whyhastherumgone · 30/07/2017 23:24

Agreed @punjanatea it all felt very rushed and it was all set up like he only had pringles and no drinks - but then tada there's a delicious bbq and loads of champagne. I actually want to see one where they have to organise a traditional wedding rather than a wacky idea as i think it would be more interesting after all the wackiness!

whyhastherumgone · 30/07/2017 23:25

if anyone is interested there are loads of series on 4 catch up app including a where are they now style ep in series four or five

annandale · 30/07/2017 23:27

I know the couple with the bride who rode in Jordan's pink carriage divorced within a year or so.

AuroraBora · 30/07/2017 23:34

It's scripted. I knew a girl who's been on it.

We had discussed many times what she'd want on her wedding day. Couple of years later we'd drifted apart and she appeared on DTTB. Everything she said she wanted on the show really wasn't, whereas everything he was picking was exactly the type of wedding she described to me. Even down to wedding dress detail.

They'd clearly planned it beforehand.

mylittlephoney · 30/07/2017 23:44

Aurora that's exactly what I would do.plan it with partner to the nth degree. Then when it comes to the production say something completely the opposite so I get the wedding of my dreams.
Ps the wedding in the forest is near to what I would've wanted. Not the RO in a town not my own with a dress that split halfway through . Hay ho nevermind.