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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hen Do's / Don't Tell The Bride

102 replies

MommaGee · 30/07/2017 21:31

Aibu to think that if you went on a hen do, you wouldn't expect the bride to finance it all?
So why on DTTB do the hens always get so aggrieved if the meal isn't paid for and if booze isn't pit on for them. I'm working class like most of the people on the show. I've never been to a hen do where I've not paid for my own food and drink

OP posts:
OP posts:
JaneEyre70 · 31/07/2017 17:43

The first couple of series were really good, especially when the groom stuffed up big time but now they tend to be a bit ...ahem "rough" couples and the groom encouraged to have the most stupid ideas known to man.
I always wondered with the Vegas one if she was told she had to go through with it, there's no way I'd have got on that plane. And thinking about it, there's never been one without a wedding.............perhaps there is a clause in the legal stuff?

HarrietKettleWasHere · 31/07/2017 17:49

There is a clause- no wedding means they would be liable for returning all the money they were given.

thecraftyfox · 31/07/2017 17:56

I know the registrar who did one of the weddings in Manchester. Poss Guns N Roses themed.
The bride and groom did their notice about 10 times with 10 different venues, nice earner for the council! And then just go ahead with one of them. So the bride has an idea of where it could be and it's not a total shock.

Hygge · 31/07/2017 17:59

Harriet - that muscle beach wedding one really stood out to me as it was one of the ones where I was hoping the bride wouldn't go through with the wedding.

bretonlover · 31/07/2017 18:06

The nose cake parachute couple are still together and have at least one baby now. They live not far from me and I have seen them out pushing a pram looking loved up.

PunjanaTea · 31/07/2017 18:31

Is the nose cake the same couple as the ones who had their reception in his tatty working mans club? That couple were definitely on a catch up show and she said whilst it made good tv to assume she wouldn't like the venue, they had met in the club so it was very appropriate. They seemed lovely and I hope they're still together.

Is the clause saying they have to give the money back if they don't go through with it even legal? Surely that's a pretty strong form of coercion and I didn't think you could force someone into marriage.

bretonlover · 31/07/2017 19:59

Yeah that's them Punjana, I have been to a few parties in that miners club. They are still together as far as I know. I saw them together a few months ago.

Original poster
MommaGee · 31/07/2017 23:21

I'm sire I missed a series. When was the Guns and Roses one?

OP posts:
PearlyPinkNails · 01/08/2017 00:20

Love that show

whyhastherumgone · 01/08/2017 15:34

Randomly watched an old one last night and the guy who played Nigel in Broadchurch was on it as the best man - his brother got married! Took me ages to place him.

Original poster
MommaGee · 05/08/2017 23:49

1.5k on a stag do into Manchester??????

OP posts:
needmorespace · 06/08/2017 00:39

we have taken notices for dttb in our office, the bride gives three notices for different venues then the groom gives one (for the venue where the marriage will be held) - so not a great money spinner as suggested upthread Confused
that's where it is a genuine wedding - quite a few of them are not and the legal marriage takes place afterwards

Urglewurgle · 06/08/2017 00:53

I know someone who was on Marrying mum and dad. They asked them what their nightmare wedding would be, then made the kids do that.

Hygge · 07/08/2017 20:50

needmorespace - I never understood the point of it when they get "married" in a place where it's not legal, then they have to go off and do it elsewhere. Especially when most of the guests miss the real thing.

That bloke who wanted ninjas in a field did that, all that palaver in the field, then he and the bride actually got married in private the day after.

I just don't get the point when that happens.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/08/2017 22:14

My friends had a beautiful (not DTTB) wedding on a gill on their farm. Verse and songs they wanted. It was a way of celebrating their love and union in the way they wanted. It wasn't legal (lovely registry office in the lakes before hand) but it didbt matter because they did rings and vows.

Hygge · 07/08/2017 22:32

Maybe I'm being overly harsh on the "weddings" where they're not actually legally married Sleeping, it's just that on the programme they talk so much about "dream wedding" that I'd expect them to want to actually get married at it.

Especially when the bride is saying it's so important to her to have everyone she loves see her get married, and then it turns out they haven't seen that bit at all. They've seen the fancy bits, but not the actual legal marriage.

I'm glad your friends were happy with their day though and did what they wanted. Maybe that's the difference, your friends did exactly what they wanted to do, but on the programme a not legal wedding and a registry office afterwards often doesn't seem to be what the bride wants at all. I've been taking them at face value when they say they want their family to see them get married. Some of the brides seem really surprised to find out they've got to go to a registry office the next day and do it again.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/08/2017 22:42

I guess for many people the legal bit doesn't seem as "worthy" of being wwatched as the frilly bits. In a church its a quick signature of a piece of paper . it doesn't feel that "legal"
I dunno, I personally wanted it all in one

gingergenius · 07/08/2017 22:46

A friend if mine's brother was on it. It's all fixed that way because they had a budget of £12k for everything - as a PP said, on DTTB the groom also chooses the dress. It's to not real life!!! The friends brother is still married afaik and this was about 5 years ago

SleepingStandingUp · 10/08/2017 00:15

""Especially for you,
I got a mullet and dyed my hair thank god no blue...""

notevernotnevernotnohow · 10/08/2017 00:31

So why on DTTB do the hens always get so aggrieved if the meal isn't paid for and if booze isn't pit on for them

Because its part of the budget given to them by the show. Would you want to pay for a meal and a night out that is decided by the groom, and filmed by tv cameras? And, btw, totally managed and staged by said film crew.....

gingergenius · 12/08/2017 11:19

Oh god the Scott and Charlene wedding was utterly cringy! That mullet!!!

Brittbugs80 · 12/08/2017 11:32

I've not rtft but I'm always confused by the bridesmaids. As an example, I've just watched the pig farm one. At the hen night, the girls were all bored and the bride said it was awful. If that was my friend I'd be doing my best to jolly it up and get the party started but they all sat round with a face like a wet weekend.

They also seem hell bent on antagonising the bride and winding them up, especially when it comes to dresses. And don't get me started on the moms that get themselves all wound up. Pig farm Bride's Mom said, "this isn't the wedding I want for my daughter". Well they've gone on a TV show to get it paid for, if you wanted the to have a certain wedding, sodding we'll pay for it for them!

Are the bridesmaids told to act this way by producers, e.g. don't try to make the Hen Party fun and wind her up about the dress instead of making her feel better.

Brittbugs80 · 12/08/2017 11:34

"Oh god the Scott and Charlene wedding was utterly cringy! That mullet"

Grin

Don't you think the mullet really aged him as well?!

SomeOtherFuckers · 12/08/2017 11:49

Because the groom has been given £12k to finance the wedding ( I know not huge) and so £300 on a nice hen do is reasonable to ask.
Especially when they spend £500 on all bridesmaids dresses and bridal gown and then spend £2k on decked out suits for his mates and a trip to Ibiza

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