3 year old picked up a swear word

[dadadadathatslife]

My DS 3 just said "fuck sake"

I actually feel like the worst mother in the world.

Please cheer me up and tell me other things your children have said/done that's made you cringe.

Also, how do you get them to stop saying it???

When my DGD was 3 she came out 'I'm going to piss myself in a minute' as she dashed to the toilet. I'm afraid to say I laughed.

My 3 yo mutters under his breath, 'oh god' a lot (not ideal but fine) but recently has graduated to 'old shed' if he drops something. Makes me realise I swear more than I thought and I need to stop very soon before he realises I'm not saying 'shed'.

Our 2.5 year old is awful for swearing, she calls all her siblings 'fat little dicks' and when she first started nursery a couple of months ago they told me how clever she was for using the big loo except that whenever she had a poo she'd walk out with her knickers round her ankles then say 'get a baby wipe I've had a shit' then bend over for them to wipe her bum, ohhh the shame

My DS is now very prudish about swearing and tells us off if one of us slips up, but when he was a toddler his very first sentence, when we'd gone to pick blackberries and discovered that they weren't ripe, was a mournful 'We're fucked then...'

Ds calls crips pispies 😂

Most of the time, my ds age 3 says 'crikey' or 'blimey' however announced this evening that he had shit on his arse!
To be fair he didn't get much of a reaction....i just stood there with my mouth wide open!

There was an annoying fly in our conservatory when dd was little and I just sort of muttered oh that fucking fly.

I go to the kitchen and hear DD about.. "Mummy, will you come and get this fucking fly"

I didn't even think she'd heard me!

Friend of mind used to get cravings for lemonade when pregnant and her husband had to go out to the only place that was open to get it for her. Older child happily told his teacher all about how daddy had to keep going to the pub to get drink for mummy.

My other half shouted "you prick" at someone when they cut him up in the car and straight after my 3 yr old shouts "yeah you pick"...also when he was two, he called out "you mug " when i beeped someone confront of me in the car! I didnt say anything just beeped and he shouted that! We are now alot mote careful of what we say in the car lol

This is actually quite a sad example. My friend is a nursery nurse. She had an older boy 3/4 join the nursery. I think the family had been through upheaval and homelessness and had been through the hostel and temporary accommodation mill. On his familiarisation visit the family walked in and the little boy took one look at the colourful surroundings and declared 'I'm not staying here.. its a shithole' she didn't know whether to laugh or cry (inwardly)

My daughter used to say Fuck when she was two - we just ignored it and soon she forgot it. Now says oh bugger - she's 3. Sometimes she says oh bum holes. Hoping she'll stop it by September but I doubt it because every time she says it - someone laughs

I had to slam my brakes on last week when a car pulled out in front of me on a roundabout. Before I could utter a word DD(5) pipes up "He's an arsehole, isn't he Mummy"
I really need to watch myself when driving

If they don't hear it they won't say it. There's not much to be proud of about a 2 or 3 year old swearing.

In the car with my 2 daughters, 1 daughter of my friend and my nephew in the front. All young primary school. Nephew is just learning to read and is in the phase of reading everything he sees. Signs, boxes, etc. We pull up behind a dirty white van at some traffic lights and someone had written in the dirt "cock lover". I knew what was going to happen but my brain wouldn't work quick enough! He started to put the letters together eventually getting "co, coc, cock lover". Miss Hannigan, what's a cock lover? I was mortified and didn't have a reasonable answer. Being children they pounced on my discomfort and before the traffic lights had changed, 4 children were chanting "cock lover cock lover cock lover". And I had to explain to my DB and BFF why the children had learnt such specific language.

Me to dh other weekend. We was getting ready to go out for lunch with the kids. My eldest dd is 7. Me to dh - you can't wear them shoes him - why not me - because you look a twat that's why. We was alone in the room at the time. 10 minutes later me to dd put those shoes on they'll look nice with that dress dd - are you sure I won't look a twat like dad 😳 Whoops

I was having coffee with a friend once when her two year old marched towards us, put her doll on the sofa and announced "And you can bloody well stay there!" I howled, but my friend was mortified!

Oh also my 1 and a half year old says "I'm sitting" when she goes to sit down but it sounds a lot like I'm shitting. Walking through supermarket other day she was walking then all of a sudden she squats to sit down and says I'm sitting which like I said sounds like shitting. Had this old man chuckling I explained she meant sitting he said it made his day!

When my son was 2 we were on the ferry on the way back from Calais with a bunch of school kids and teachers obviously on a school trip. He spilled his yoghurt and yelled "ah for fucks sake!" Embarrassing much!

He was often heard saying "arfa" I never realised this was what his dad said before muttering "fucksake" under his breath. Evidently there was an occasion when he didn't mutter quietly enough!

My friends ds when a toddler used to shout how much his mum liked coke cock she was rather embarrassed poor child just couldnt say the word properly.

I was privy to a discussion between an adult and 20 2-4 year olds about what happens in cars...

"My mummy drives fast"
"My daddy takes me home"
"My daddy says 'fucking idiot!'"

silence... then a swift change of subject!

Like PP's fork, we deliberately misheard as our youngest picked up swearwords (being the baby). So fuck became flick. And we said she must never say it as if was rude so she went round flickety flicking for years. Sorted.

Some seriously funny ones here have had me shaking with laughter next to snoring DH. I loved "arsehole" from the babyseat!

The PPs who find it less amusing perhaps haven't had a large family. When our youngest was 8 the eldest was 17/18 so in order to have important open conversation at the table the little ones were going to hear things.

Like when 9 year old said "what's anal sex?" That wasn't from the family table! I suspect listening to 18 year old banter through the door! Had to think fast (nearly choked on my coffee) and said I thought they were mistaken, there was something called Angel sex but I didn't know about it. We got away with that one! We laugh about it now though. Youngest is unscarred, unsweary 28 year old by the way.

When my dad was tiny "Bugger!" Was probably her fave word, after dadadad and Mummy. My MIL always said it was going to be her 1st, I'm so proud she was wrong

I'm trying not to cry at "that fucking skeleton" and "honker cunting"