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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

3 year old picked up a swear word

187 replies

dadadadathatslife · 30/07/2017 19:08

My DS 3 just said "fuck sake"

I actually feel like the worst mother in the world.

Please cheer me up and tell me other things your children have said/done that's made you cringe.

Also, how do you get them to stop saying it???

OP posts:
MovingUpwards · 30/07/2017 21:01

RedStripe I just literally LOLd.. could totally imagine my 3yr old son saying that. "You fucking dare" 😂😂😂

IonaMumsnet · 30/07/2017 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedStripeSorry · 30/07/2017 21:08

exWife you don't need to single me out. Everyone on the thread has had similar experiences. No one sets out to swear In front of children but we can all slip up.

StarsAndStripes18 · 30/07/2017 21:18

These are so funny GrinGrinGrin

One of my favourite memories from my 5 times in the maternity ward was with my first baby 17 years ago (when I was in for 6 days).
The lady opposite me was having her second baby and when her oldest DC visited he used to run up and down the ward shouting 'Fuck, fuck, fuck' Blush he was 2 or 3yo and it was the only word he could really say! The poor mum was mortified but honestly it was hilarious Grin

wheelsortyres · 30/07/2017 21:23

Ex wife have a fucking cunty Biscuit

ellestyle · 30/07/2017 21:36

My DD was about 3 and she once turned to me and said "cuckin hell fire", goodness knows where she'd heard it but i literally had to walk away to laugh quietly to myself. I didn't make a fuss so it was soon forgotten about. Grin

Original poster
dadadadathatslife · 30/07/2017 21:37

Oh exwife that is mean. Don't single folk out. The thread is meant to be funny and light hearted (to ease my conscience Smile) so let's not get nasty please.

OP posts:
Original poster
dadadadathatslife · 30/07/2017 21:38

stopfucking I know, I know...I don't know who I'm kidding Grin

OP posts:
ilovepixie · 30/07/2017 21:42

My nephew when he was about 3 called his mum a silly bitch. She had to put her head in a cupboard so he couldn't see her laughing!

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 30/07/2017 21:42

Driving . Let's just blame driving Grin

Original poster
dadadadathatslife · 30/07/2017 21:44

stopfucking

Driving, constant PJ masks, lego batman, threenager attitude...take your pick 😂

OP posts:
TartanDMs · 30/07/2017 21:48

DS once came home from a football match he had been to with his older brother, and asked me earnestly "what's a knobhead? said the referee was one" he was about 5 at the time, DSS was 19. He was suitably ashamed of corrupting his little brother!

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 30/07/2017 21:48

DD 2y6m gets most of her swear words from Alan Ahlberg books. She will exclaim "crikey bob!" when surprised and she told me the other day that I was a "saucy fellow".

But the best was when FIL entered the room and she said, quite clearly, "well blow me down, it's Granddad!"

Lostinaseaofbubbles · 30/07/2017 21:51

My 4yo today was having custard for dessert and working through all the words he could think of that rhymed with custard. Custard, Mustard, bastard...

It's not one DH or I tend to use (and we both try not to swear around the DC anyway) so I've no idea where it came from.

I've a friend (who I suspect is a mumsnetter so I might get caught out) whose husband was trying to paint their house one summer. It kept raining. Turns out every time it rained he exclaimed "fucks sake, rain". They had a preschooler at the time and it took them a long time to train him out of saying the same every time it rained!

Violetcharlotte · 30/07/2017 21:52

My DS did the same when he was about 2 1/2. At a family meal. I was mortified Blush

Thegiantofillinois · 30/07/2017 21:53

There was once a mark on the living room floor. We puzzled and puzzled until ds (3) shrugged at said "it's probably catchit". Took us ages to realise he'd picked up Dh's dysphemism.

To be honest, both mine know a lot of swear words, but no insults. They will be able to hold their own when the hard kids try to catch them out, but they know that swear words, like staying up late, are for grown ups.

Allthewaves · 30/07/2017 21:53

Middle ds with asd spent first year of school with a child with severe emotional issues and a Huge swear vocabulary. Now I have three children who swear like truckers. Not a great look on my 4 year old.

First day of prechool so youngest ds was 3 and he called all the parents standing with children waiting to go in - fu**s. I went bright red, apologised to all the horrified parents and shuffled ds outside.

RedStripeSorry · 30/07/2017 21:59

johnny that's brilliant! Kind of the angle I'm hoping to get by teaching dd 'cor blimey' Grin

YouCantArgueWithStupid · 30/07/2017 22:43

DD who is 2 shouts "OH MY GOD!" whenever anything happens. I.E. "OH MY GOD ITS A NEE NAW!"

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 30/07/2017 22:45

These are ace, this is what MN was made for...
I have said this before but will do so again, my fave expletive, aside from cunt of course, is For Fucks Sake. I have become very paranoid that one of the DC will crack this one out so have, WITH GREAT FUCKING EFFORT, changed this to fox ache... Everyone will know what said child is attempting but they cannot judge as it is not actually swearing Wink

EastMidsMumOf1 · 30/07/2017 22:53

Dd when she first started nursery used to say "oh bloody Norah" which was made worse by a little girl who started the following term, named Norah - dd then went on to tell me loudly Mummy her name is bloody Norah! fits of laughter every time and infront of everyone. So glad shes left that nursery nowGrin

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 31/07/2017 00:07

A friend of mine and her younger Dsis were once being rather rude about their DM. They were about 14 and 12 and were overheard by their much younger Dbro, aged about 4. A couple of days later, their Dbro then proceeded to announce that "Mummy is a fucker" very loudly on the village high street and proudly told his DM exactly where he'd heard it. Grin

Katiekatie37 · 31/07/2017 00:20

DD used to say "oh shit" every time she dropped something or fell over, she was even younger too 😳. I tried not to swear but do it without realising when I stub my foot, trip etc.

gta · 31/07/2017 00:23

My DS word of choice is dickhead

'Look at that dickhead mummy'
'Mummy all my friends are dickheads'

He regularly shouts 'there goes another dickhead' when someone walks past

He's 3 arggggghhhh

LadyFairfaxSake · 31/07/2017 00:27

When DD was little and learning that words beginning with 'C' can have hard or soft pronunciations, we were walking in the town centre.
I'm a frequent visitor to the well known electrical emporium CEX, as we passed it up pipes the little darling in a shrill voice "oh look Daddy, can we go in the sex shop again?"
I got a few odd looks...