3 year old picked up a swear word

[dadadadathatslife]

My DS 3 just said "fuck sake"

I actually feel like the worst mother in the world.

Please cheer me up and tell me other things your children have said/done that's made you cringe.

Also, how do you get them to stop saying it???

2.5 year old tells us his list of words hes not allowed to say on a regular basis. I think no matter how careful we have been they still slip out and now he's aware he's on them in an instant. This morning we confirmed that he's not allowed to say 'fuck' 'shit' or 'dick'. I think he gets most of them from Daddy in the car...at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Dd aged 4 at the time was going through the alphabet trying to come up with word that rhymed with duck......she got ton "f" and the horror on her face when she realised she'd swore.

Age 2 I asked her to pass me my jumper. She passed it to me and all cheerily says "Here's your fucking jumper!"

Her granny used to take her to church with her. She announced in the middle of a prayer "Granny! I just farted!"
She also told the priest that "Actually I don't believe in God." She was about 3 at the time.

Mil used to report anytime she swore. I would act horrified and told her she must have heard it when we were on the bus.

Megan I'm in stitches!!!!!

My 2.5 yr old copied my mum who said "SHIT!" once for something. I was so happy as she is frequently criticising me for swearing since having my daughter! Then she becomes the first one to get her to swear!
Of course she has since said "For fuckies' sake!!" whilst I was driving!

Not a swear word but my then 2 year old was sat in the back of the car with her arm in the air, giving the finger to the car behind us. Even worse they made it clear that they noticed
My 4 year old daughter could never say her nursery teachers name, it always came out as a swear word! Mortifying when she shouted her in the school hall during her older sisters show!

DD used to call crisps 'piss' and chocolate 'cock'.

Which made shopping interesting.

She also once asked DH 'what the fuck are you doing?'

My 2 year old was playing in the living room a couple of weeks ago and I repeatedly heard him saying "pocks sake!", in context, when he couldn't fix his Lego together properly. I mildly asked him not to say that, thinking it best if I didn't make a big deal out of it and he replied, crossly, "Mine need to say pocks sake mummy...." "Pocks sake!"

And here was me thinking I had said it discreetly previously. I'm on the lookout for suitable (satisfying but innocent) alternatives, any offers welcome!

DD called someone a f*ing t**t a few months back while in the car on the way to nursery - to be fair to her though, the woman in question was indeed driving like one

We do also get more than our fair share of 'for gods sake!' And 'Jesus Christ' (they are indeed my fault sadly, although the road rage is honestly nothing to do with me)

DS used to tell everyone I'd said the cee word - he means crap not cunt. I've had loads of these I've explained there's a worse word but not what it is.

I'm glad he's still innocent.

Today DD came out with "yak yak, Mummy don't talk back" which I think she got from DH.

Her best ever insult was around 1am one night when she woke up and had a random massive tantrum. She wanted me to leave her alone rather than trying to soothe her back to sleep so eventually she screamed in frustration, "Mummy.... just... just go and DO YOUR NAPPY!"

🤣 It was quite obviously the toddler equivalent of go fuck yourself......

I got home after reversing the car into a fence while out shopping, went round the back and discovered I'd broken one of the reflectors. 'Fuck's sake', I muttered, and 'Fuckseck!' echoed my 2-year-old.

She also told me to 'close the BLOAAARDY BLIND' recently. I realise that I substitute 'bloody' for 'fucking', which is kinda better but not ideal. Having a toddler is cruel because there are so many times you really need to swear and you're not supposed to.

My DS said very seriously to me the other day, when he was struggling to do something on the way out the door:

DS: "Mummy, something's really buggering me."
Me: "Darling, I think you mean 'bothering' you."
DS: "No mummy, buggering."
Me: "No, I don't think so darling"

When DS1 started learning rhyming words he would rhyme peoples names with anything he could think of.

Mummy, Tummy, Yummy, Gummy, Bummy....

He has a brother called Hunter....
Grunter, Punter, Cunter!

We had fuckin hell in context from 2 year old . Never swear now infront of them after ....
Me: ds we need to get dressed now...
D's (2 years old): oh fuckin hell

I was explaining to my five year old DS why he shouldn't say 'God' as it was called blaspheming and it could upset christians, when my three year old DD piped up
"Yes - like 'Christ on a bike' and 'Jesus Wept!'

Apparently I say this all the time....I had no idea

My Dsis still gets reminded of the time mum and dad got told about her swearing in reception.

TA: oh, look at this mess it'll take ages to sort out

Dsis: yes Mrs R, it's a bit of a bastard, isn't it?

DD1 tried "shit" out on us a few months ago but we didn't flinch so it disappeared out of her vocabulary again. DH swears like a trooper - it's not his first language and I don't think it carries the same weight for him. But for some reason DD1 seems to ignore all the "fuck"s and has settled on "bloody" as her nuclear option of swearing. I can live with that as we're in Germany and it's quite close to "bloede" (stupid).

The kindergarten had a word with all the kids a couple of months ago (when they got new toilets fitted and the kids were fascinated by toilets for like 3 days) and told them that it wasn't polite to talk about "caca" (poo) and "pinkeln" (weeing). I thought they were a bit ambitious trying to ban "caca" when I've heard one of the kids calling it "scheiss" (I'm assuming I don't need to translate that one!)

DD (3) and and I were in the car with DP when a cyclist suddenly appeared in front of us from one of the side streets. The chap clearly wasn't looking and we almost collided.
DP, shaken, shouted "dick!!" and DD chirped in "dick? what dick? where's dick? I don't want dick!"

A while back I had a very near miss in the car where i nearly had a head on with someone who came flying round a blind bend on the wrong side of the road. I shouted out "well done douchebag!" as I was rather cross.

Dd didn't say anything at the time and o thought I had got away with it, but about 10 minutes later piped up with, "mummy, what's a douchebag?" I told her it was just a silly word, to which she replied, "but mummy, why did you tell that man well done douchebag?" So of course I replied with, "who wants MacDonalds?!"

Ds (4) seems to pick up my occasional (I am careful) potty mouth. Most recently I got cross when he sprayed wee all over the bathroom, with some comment about 'pissing all over the place'. A day or two later see him rubbing loo roll all over the floor and ask why:

"umm, I pissed".

One of the funniest yet saddest moments of my life!!!

This thread's too funny. Marking place to catch up properly later.

"fuck me....." at the caterpillar has really made me .

Partner called another driver a wanker. Couple of minutes silence then "wanker, wanker, wanker....." from the back seat. Two hour journey to my parents praying she'd stop by the time we arrived