To think the 'information' the midwife gave me is almost propaganda?

[ethelfleda]

Recently had 24 week appointment. This is our first. Midwife asked if I had thought about feeding yet. I said I plan on breastfeeding. I say 'plan' because (as with everything else baby related) I am trying to keep an open mind as from what I hear, things don't always go according to plan! So I will try hard to breastfeed but I won't beat myself up if it doesn't work out for us.
She handed me a 20 odd page pamphlet thing and said it contained useful information on caring for a new born.

I started to read it today thinking it would be basic NHS info on how to feed, wind and change your baby etc. It was actually 20 odd pages of info telling me basically that if i don't breastfeed, my baby is more likely to develop cancer (as am I) as well as be admitted to hospital in their first year of life etc etc among other very scary statistics.
The language used was shocking IMO! And seemingly designed to make women who don't/can't breastfeed feel awful! Has anyone else had this information handed to them and thought it was way over the top??

I had no problems breast feeding my two but stopped at 3 months because I wanted my boobs back. I must be such a bad person.

mumto2two I think that's an odd comment about breastfeeding being more difficult for fair skinned people from a midwife (and I haave heard It before). However from an evolutionary point of view this would almost certainly mean fair skinned people would be extinct? Maybe this is an example of unhelpful information from midwives who may have little experience of breastfeeding due to the uk's comparatively low breastfeeding rates

"I also know breast is best but for all you smug people who just had to want to enough that isn't everyone's experience so please STFU."

So anyone who had a positive experience should STFU?

That does seem to reflect the general Mumsnet opinion on bf.

Incidentally, for people who have been told that "formula is poison"- stupid people say stupid things. You should hear the comments passed about bf. Someone in Mumsnet recently said that she had no desire to sit on a sofa all day being a milk cow. Ignore stupidity.

For gods sake I'm sick and tired of this debate. You were given the information because of cause they want you to breastfeed because it's better full stop. However, that's not saying that mums that can't breastfeed should be thrown to the lions. It's not propaganda it's facts designed to help you. Those that question those facts are deluded. How can a synthetic milk be better than a natural one designed for the baby. They are just trying to help you. Take it for what it is-information. Do your best then move on.

^ This.

"All those who told me to try harder for example. Id bet my life I tried a lot harder than the average person who did succeed to ebf."

Did they just tell you to try harder or did they offer suggestions about how to boost your supply? Because that's what I would have done.

Sorry, posted the wrong link in my comment on the previous page. Here is the correct article with the chart showing how many UK mothers still breastfeed at 12 months: UK attitudes to breastfeeding must change, say experts

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/aug/01/uk-attitudes-to-breastfeeding-must-change-say-experts?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Copy_to_clipboard

It looks like anti-BF pressure is the more significant problem here!

The only time I've ever heard "formula is poison" is when people allege that others say it. And Bert is spot on, you can't talk about your BF success on MN, however you can bleat on about your FF success and everyone will give you a round of applause.

I'm not buying this crap that FFers are the real victims in the feeding debacle. Come back to me when you've been booted out a cafe, or your MIL's living room, or been told your a pervert for FF.

"They told me to feed on demand, not give even one bottle, check the latch all of which I was doing."

So they were trying to help.

@NotMyPenguin just how are you supposed to work? It's much harder to bf when back at work, which most people are by 12 months. I think attitudes might not be the main issue at that time frame.

"The only time I've ever heard "formula is poison" is when people allege that others say it."

I have spent 21 years on and off among pretty hippy dippy evangelical bf ers. And I have never once heard anyone say this. But obviously some nutter must have said it sometime.

For every person pressured to BF, there is a woman pressured to give a bottle when she really doesn't need to. I also think a good start would be to get more balanced information on the hardships of BF. Before I had DD I went to a BF 'workshop'. They raved about how convenient it is, about how there's less reflux/ear infections etc, that it burns calories, all the good stuff. It's almost like they were afraid to go over the negatives in order it to put people off. Because they never touched on cluster feeding or mastitis or engorgement, all of which I faced and could've done with knowing about. I think if there was a more honest conversation about BF (and the fact that it is painful at first) then they'd have better success rates.

"Now tell me I wasn't trying hard enough"

Why would I do that?

Women who do not bf or who use formula alongside breastfeeding are in a strange position: they are in the vast majority (99 per cent of babies have formula milk at some stage) so they are not an oppressed minority. But oddly, many feel as if they are. They are sensitive to criticism and see criticism where it may not exist. They certainly exaggerate the existence of stupid comments (as for 'formula is poison' the only time I have ever seen this on mumsnet - and I've been here years- is when people say 'it's not as if formula is poison' or the equivalent). They report being 'villified' when asking about mixed feeding - really? Not more likely that the question about mix feeding was explored maybe insensitively?

But the feelings of being criticised and villified and judged harshly are REAL....because how we feed our babies is personal and meaningful. It's hurtful to think that someone is judging. It's horrible to give formula when you are wishing it was breastmilk. It's especially unjust when you wanted to breastfeed and it was a painful difficult experience and you introduce formula in response to that and you think ppl don't understand.

We all have to move on from this. Ff or mixed feeding mothers will not stop feeling judged and criticised overnight. They will not stop thinking of info leaflets as 'propaganda' (ffs) overnight. This change will only happen when bf support becomes sensitive and aware, and when it becomes genuinely understanding and accepting....alongside better help with problems.

"It's just the ignorance I hate. And the repeating the ridiculous mantra as if it's fact. It's NOT always just a case of try harder"

No, of course not. But evidence from other countries suggests that in 95% of women (not dismissing the 5%, obviously) it Is a case of "try differently".

Anybody who says "just try harder" is obviously an arse. Arses exist. A friend of mine saw me bf for the first time and said " I thought one of the advantages of human evolution is that we don't have to do things like that any more" She is an arse too.

But anyone whose help is restricted to 'try harder' is clearly an idiot who knows zero about bf. I do occasionally hear of mothers being told 'just persevere' which is equally idiotic.

I wonder if part of it is all the class and lifestyle connotations of it.

Because you can't choose to breastfeed. It's not entirely within your control. Some people can't do this thing that the NHS keeps telling you is the 'best."

And that's very difficult, if you have all your other ducks lined up. Which is probably why people keep saying that it is worse to live by a busy road, or in a damp house or whatever.

And my life was pretty crap when I had DS, and there were many things that were less than ideal, some of which increased his chances of not doing so well. But I could breastfeed, and did EBF.

And so it's all very well people stating that it doesn't really matter so much if your child has XYZ other advantages, but not everyone can choose to have XYZ.

@tiktok I had no idea so few women did BF in the UK. All I had to go on was the BF info and workshop in pregnancy and family members/friends who had all BF, plus comments from relatives about those women who choose to FF. I thought FF was unusual. Then I had my baby, ran into problems and thought I was a total failure. I still remember sobbing my eyes out in SCBU when someone told me the actual stats for UK BF rates and I realised I wasn't the only person having to feed formula.

The info I was given has made me distrust midwives etc. I don't trust formula manufacturers because they're trying to sell me something but I equally don't trust midwives because they gave me such rubbish information and support so why should I believe anything else they say?

And as for 'vilified'. Yes, I went to a breastfeeding cafe at the children's centre, looking for support with mix feeding once we were out of SCBU. What I found was a load of other mothers who wouldn't speak to me or sit with me once I said I was using formula. They sat in a huddle talking to their BF friends and reused to have anything to do with me. I could hear the mutters and tuts about formula and see the looks I was getting.

Refused not reused!