Happy fucking birthday to me

[Anaffaquine123]

AIBU to be pissed off? My h, not dh right now, went out yesterday afternoon for work drinks. I did stuff with the kids. It was hot, they found it difficult to get to sleep and ended up in our bed with me. The three year old performing bloody somersaults, kicking me in the head. I had very little sleep. I was either putting them back to bed like boomerangs or being kicked in the head.
H gets home at 3:30am and says, "what? I'm home aren't i. It isn't even late!"
I rolled my eyes too knackered to respond.
He grabs my pillow and tries to get me to go through to the spare room with him for sex. I say no, I'm shattered, he reeks of booze and is drunk. He told me to, "fuck off" then collapsed onto the bed snoring loudly.
I move him to spare room, away from the kids.
6:30 - the kids are up and full of beans. I'm up have given them breakfast. The older one is upset because she doesn't know where my present is to give to me.
8:30 and he still won't get up and hasn't given them the presents to give to me. I now have two sad kids who want to give me a brilliant birthday and I am exhausted.
I suppose I will have to just suck it up when he does finally decide to get up for the kids sake. I want them to be able to give me my present as they wish. I think they have made me something! After that though, I'm taking the kids out and he isn't welcome today.
To top it all, yesterday was our 20th anniversary too.
Most of the time my h is lovely and thoughtful. Every so often he acts like an arsehole though. If I say anything I'm apparently just nagging.
Happy fucking birthday to me.

Happy birthday OP. Hope you and the kids are out enjoying yourselves now and eating .

Out of interest does H realise he's been an arse after these episodes or remain blissfully ignorant and say you're overreacting?

Could you leave the kids in front of the TV for an hour and get some extra kip so you feel a bit more human? Not sure if they are old enough for that from your OP.

He needs to get up so you can get some sleep otherwise you've got no chance of enjoying your day.

I'm not sure that you can call a husband 'lovely and thoughtful' when they have abandoned you on your 20th anniversary, verbally abuse you when you refuse their drunken sexual advances and get so drunk that they can't get up in the morning and so sabotage your birthday plans.

I hope your day improves. Do you have any friends locally that you can meet up with instead?

Oh, and Happy Birthday!

What Needsome said. He's ruining your birthday, but he also went out on your 20th wedding anniversary. I fail to see what's lovely and thoughtful about any of this. He sounds like an utter dick.

He sounds like a total dick. I'd take the kids out all day and spend loads of money. At the end of the day, I would take them back to the house and then spend the evening with friends (i.e. not with him as he will be looking after the children).

Happy Birthday OP

For coming home drunk on your anniversary and fucking up your birthday, you definitely need to go out with the kids and leave his sory ass at home.

But first...:

1 Get a shopping bag
2 Put all coffee, tea, eggs, bread etc (anything your H may want when he gets up) and
3 Take full shopping bag with you
4 ....and his wallet so he can't buy food because you need money for taking the DCs out

But then I can be a wee bit vindictive!

Happy birthday and happy anniversary OP
I'm so sorry your H is such a fucking dickhead, and he's not acting like a good H right now.
Don't let the kiddies be upset - go out for breakfast with a very large coffee, go to the cinema as pp suggested and grab a snooze if you can while the kids watch the film, and make sure you don't cook or do any dishes today - go out for meals/get in takeaways if you go home. I'd only be ordering for me and and kids though!
I agree with pp - he's not lovely, he's an abusive arsehole - if it's drink that makes him that way then he needs to not drink. You deserve better OP

For future reference OP, if you're wavering and feeling like you're overreacting, remember strangers on the internet are being nicer to you on your birthday than the one person who should be treating you well today, you're not being U AT ALL

So he's great apart from when he is a total asshole.

You don't have to put up with assholes op.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I hope you are out of the house now with the kids - go to somewhere oyu like going and then go to a cafe for cake and hot chocolate/ice cream for a birthday treat with the kids.

So what did you decide to do in the end?

I hope you went out without him, but first I hope that the kids made an enormous amount of noise outside the spare bedroom getting ready. Maybe they could make breakfast for you, burn the toast and set off the fire alarm. And of course you must make sure that all the milk is used up, and the coffee and tea are put away in weird places.

Happy Birthday Anaffaquine123. Have a great day without him.

'Whispers' Happy Birthday and gives you [OP] a ((((((((((Hug)))))

Happy birthday op . Hopefully you're out and about having a lovely day with Dc. He sounds like an absolute knob, see when you and the Dc get home I suggest loud music and have your own little birthday party with the kids ( complete with really loud music, streamers, party poppers and whistles )
That should fuck him off if he's rough

No amount of 'lovely' the rest of the time would be enough for me to put up with this. What a nasty piece of shit he is.

Happy birthday OP

His he always this much of an arse hole. Either way though. If its the drink that makes him like that. He clearly can't handle the drink.
He's not only let you down but also his children. The selfish me me me fucker.
You deserve a knighthood being married to him for 20 years. I wouldn't have gave him 20 minutes.
Obviously you don't regret it as you got your babies as a result.
Happy birthday xxx.

I love WankStainWasher's idea!! Brilliant 😂😂

He sounds horrible. I would do a spot of hoovering in the spare room before you go out.

Happy birthday op

I'm so sorry but he sounds like an absolute arse hole. Does he have any redeeming qualities?

Have a wonderful birthday, take the kids out and do lots of things to treat yourselves. And when it's not your birthday have a little think about how He grabs my pillow and tries to get me to go through to the spare room with him for sex. I say no, I'm shattered, he reeks of booze and is drunk. He told me to, "fuck off" then collapsed onto the bed snoring loudly squares with him being a lovely and thoughtful DH.

How many men have come home and tried to have sex with their wife very pissed give him a break..

The fact he went out the night before her birthday that's now an issue !!

Sparkly, you wouldn't have a problem with being harassed in the early hours? Being drunk is no excuse for acting like a twat.