AIBU to think that most people don't feel they can be themselves around their parents?

[Chchchchangeabout]

I have always assumed this is just normal. Anytime I spend much time with mine I have to hide what I'm up to, otherwise they make annoying and picky comments about my choices. I have always assumed this is just normal but recently read a thread which made me wonder.

AIBU?

I never felt like that with my parents or with MIL.

I don't hide anything from my parents. Not even things I think they wouldn't be 100% behind. If they disagree with me they'll tell me and tell me why but it wouldn't stop me telling them. Mind you we're very close in the majority of opinions so there has never really been anything major that I've done to fall out over.

No, I don't feel like that either!

No. I wouldn't talk about my sex life but I don't censor myself around them other than that. I feel like I can really be myself with my parents because they understand me and love me no matter what. Hope my dc are the same one day.

When I was younger I used to have to hide things from my parents, but even then not that much they were fine with teenage behaviour, boyfriend , drinking and the like.

As Ive got older they know loads about me and I'm totally myself. Though I've lost my dad now I try not to trouble mum with trivial things she may worry about but she knows all the big stuff and on the whole is a huge support.

No, that's not normal at all.

I sometimes get stupid comments, but never so much that I'd make the effort to hide things from my parents.

And I think parents shouldn't behave like this at all.

So, no idea whether most people feel like that, but it is not the desirable state of things, and should be different!
And it is certainly possible for parents to not behave like this!

I'm not myself around my parents

My cousin got married last year -had I not been with my parents I'd have been up dancing the night away. Instead I sat very quietly and politely nursing 1 glass of wine

They don't do extrovert

Yes I do. I'm not myself at all around them. In fact just had a holiday with them. I got drunk and caused a family argument and now we are home im letting it depress me. Need to start a thread in relationships I think. :(

God I tell my mother as little as I can get away with, it's just not worth it I put off telling her any achievements as she does this jealous ninja kicking off thing complete with flying monkeys until I make the peace.

Papabear I'll tell slightly more maybe, he's pretty cool.

Wow. Katienana that sounds amazing.

It almost feels liberating to read all these experiences that are different to mine.

Not normal and pretty sad that you feel that way.

I'm probably more myself with my mum than anyone else other than partner and kids.

I'm a toned down version of myself with my parents; they were always very disapproving about anything even slightly 'off beat' when I was growing up so I don't feel I can entirely be myself.

Hello also to people with similar experiences to mine.

I wonder what makes the difference.

That is not bitchy by the way, I mean genuinely sad as they are they people, along with your partner and children, that you should be able to be 100% yourself with, IMO

No never had to hide anything, been able to be me with my parents and MIL. They are all easygoing! FIL however is a different story

YANBU, I'm completely the same with my parents who are very religious and quite traditional. I hide the fact that I don't attend church weekly, that I don't cook from scratch every night and that I'm prone to dropping the odd f bomb!

Yes i'm the same, mine are toxic

You aren't alone OP! My mum is exactly like your parents. Nothing I ever do will be normal or right, there's always a criticism to be had. And then she complains that I never tell her anything!

No I don't feel like that. I feel at ease with my family and we see them daily by choice.

I never really understood how people can be different versions of themselves depending on who they are with. I'm pretty much the same with everyone albeit with less swearing in front of my mil and my boss.

I'm absolutely myself with my parents, as are my siblings. I don't feel judgment from them at all.

Thanks Screwin. No I didn't take it as bitchy at all.

I'm 70:30

I love my mum but she doesn't live nearby and visit for about 3/4 days every 3 months.

She's amazing and super helpful and really gives me a break when she's here. I'm a single parent and am used to running my house and being 'me' as I choose when I'm the only adult in the house. I parent differently to how she did and I often have to remind her who is mum to my dc because she tries to override. So I sometimes become a different person to manage these differences in nature and I notice (as do my kids) that I'm "different" around my mum - you are not alone!

Yes ginger that sounds really similar. My parents are really helpful and will compliment things they approve of, offer sometimes to help out financially etc.

But only in areas that they think I am doing what they think I should be doing. I often feel I have to act to please them.