To never be alone with the children

[Theymisheardme]

Except for photos...

Beyonce and Jay-Z have 8 nannies.

For 3 children.

Blue Ivy gets 2 each and goes to playschool. The reins get 1 each working 8 hour shifts because they wake at different times.

So there's literally 24/7 cover for the kids. Presumably if on their 100k contracts they decide to have a holiday there are spare nannies on standby or overtime for the others...

I get they want extra help atm. Twins, C Sec etc. But 3 each??

Do they ever just sit and play like a regular family?

It makes you wonder what its like growing up with a small army of nannies on constant rotation and your parents quite happy to just delegate it all

Picking and Banbury it's interesting to hear the point of view of the people being nannied, for a change, rather than the usual me, me, me, as exemplified by most of the posts here.

I do think that everyone reacts to their own circumstances as best they can. So why in earth do we need all the superiority/holier-than-thou bollox?

Insight then your posts contradict. I was thinking more parents who are used to just doing the fun stuff and not any of the shit that you so pity me for doing and then suddenly are helping nurses change bed sheets and dealing with all the pain and crappiness when normally the Nanny does that.

Given your daughters start We get to do the nice stuff with our children without the shit bits ... and the other parts of parenting that most of us really dislike doesn't fully correlate. Full time Nanny for your older one when you're in hospital with her must be amazing, its definitely the thing I see parents of more than 1 struggling with when were in hospital.

I still don't need your pity just like you don't need mine for having a medically complex child or not spending as much time together as I get to

I don't understand most of your last post.

As much as it may sound nice to have nannies etc I think ultimately what children need is to know that they are loved unconditionally and too much 'help' may hinder that process.
Yes to have childcare so parents can work is understandable and necessary sometimes but a line must be drawn and the 'crap' stuff of parenting should still be down to the parents as much as they can as it is dealing with that that teaches a child that they are loved by their parents no matter what... If we delegate to a nanny because it's 'easier' as opposed to because we are away working, does that not teach a child that they are loved/wanted only when they are behaving in a certain way?
Also dealing with tough times makes the good times that much pleasurable in my opinion.

That would be the multitasking.

You pity us lowly parents who have to do the shit parts of parenting unlike you who can pay someone to do the bits your disintererested in as you get to do the nice stuff with our children without the shit bits ... and the other parts of parenting that most of us really dislike but if you've spent months in hospital with all the awfulness that entails then you are having to do the shit stuff as well as the nice stuff. Months sleeping on a hospital pull out and pinning the baby because they can't get a line in and this is the second doctor to try is hardly just the fun stuff. As someone else also pointed out, your two posts are contradictory.

By all means pay for 6 nannies, 7 chefs and 8 hardeners of you so desire - its good for the economy. But we're no more deserving of your pity than you are deserving of mine for rarely eating with your kids, for not spending the amount of time with your kids that I spend with mine etc

Insight I was completely along with you and thinking what a great sounding set up you had, right until you said you pity me.

Now I'm pissed off, and that I'm pissed off with some random punter on the internet who I've never met and whose opinion overall means nothing to me is both entertaining me and pissing me off even more!

Time to step away from the internet.

Ps. Save your pity, I don't want or need it either, however fab your set up is.

That would be the multitasking.

Drinking and typing?

The apparently random bolding in didn't make the post any clearer to read.
Just a quick comment re. "rarely eating together" (as that was a part of your post which made sense), we have 3 evening meals and 7 breakfasts together. I usually see both my children in the refectory at lunch time and we eat lunch together at the weekends. HTH

I see.

The refectory...

I see.

InsightPanel
That would be the multitasking
Drinking and typing?

Being lay on by a toddler whilst he sees how much my ear bends which is only endlessly funny to one of us.

Bolding was the words you used which you seem to have forgotten.

The thing is if you only wish to gave upon your children in tube refractory as you pass by I really don't care. Am quite happy having 21/21 meals with a toddler contenpmating whether mine is nicer and then helping themselves. I just think its sad for you that you think such simple pleasures are pitiful

I think that if each child has their own set of nannies, then 3 each isn't actually that much. I mean, there are 168 hours in a week. That means that each nanny has to work 56 hours a week, including nights and weekends. That doesn't allow for holiday leave or sickness. So, each child should have 4 nannies each, really, to provide the same level of care that SAHP does.

And paying them each $100,000 a year.

We should use these figures as the starting point for child maintenance payments.

PrinceGeorgeTheCutest / Theymisheardme or whatever your name

The thing is if you only wish to gave upon your children in tube refractory as you pass by ... Am quite happy having 21/21 meals with a toddler contenpmating whether mine is nicer

Your "toddler" is making you less and less coherent.

Insight what are these bits of parenting that we all hate that illicit such pity in you? Why do you think doing the basic day to day stuff is so pitiful?

@MommaGee

l'll give a brief list simply so you can tell me I'm wrong, of course;

• playdates where you don't know / like the other parents

• endless bloody laundry

• mess and untidiness

• grocery shopping with children in tow

• taking time off work for an under-the-weather (not properly sick) child.

• settee shopping with children who don't want to be there (last Sunday was horrific)

• hanging around school waiting for them to finish an activity (I don't mean proudly watching them take part)

• soft play once they're old enough to be entirely independent and only come to you when they're hungry

• cooking toddler food (dice 9/12 of a carrot into 1mm cubes, blanch 7/9 of a julienned parsnip in no-sodium stock etc)

• telling your child you can't do something with them because you need to [insert boring chore here]

• soaking toys in Milton and then hoping for a good drying day

• the barbers / hairdressers

I'm sure there are more.

You may tell me that you love sitting in a softplay cafe or taking children to Waitrose. I don't. Taking a day off work for an under-the-weather child is of course, an easy one to criticise and you could say that children should be comforted by their parents. I don't have the option of that luxury and I understand what it is to be the parent of a very ill child. I'm talking about when they want cartoons and calpol.

Do you love every aspect of parenting? Aren't there some you'd rather have someone else do?

playdates where you don't know / like the other parents so don't go on them. I'm not sure making the paid help spins time with awful people is abs better. I do play datest with mom's I like

endless bloody laundry would definitely have a house keeper for this but wouldn't consider it "parenting" as such

mess and untidiness I get it's a difference in attitudes but I couldn't sit and play with the kids, make a mess then swan out wnd expect someone other then DH to clean up after me. I was raised to tidy up after myself which alas includes DS

grocery shopping with children in tow online all the way

taking time off work for an under-the-weather (not properly sick) child I do understand how this would be a nightmare for work, but genuinely how often does that happen? If its happening that often they need to go to the doctor and I wouldn't delegate that

settee shopping with children who don't want to be there (last Sunday was horrific) comes down to whether you have family support but you wouldn't pay for a Nanny just for your yearly sofa shop. And clearly as it was horrific you took the kids and just got on with it anyway

hanging around school waiting for them to finish an activity (I don't mean proudly watching them take part) I don't have a school age one so innocently assume if you dont need to watch you don't need to be there surely?

soft play once they're old enough to be entirely independent and only come to you when they're hungry sounds like heaven. Follow mine round with his o2tank. Surely soft play gets better once they only want you for food 😅 please tell me it does!!!!

cooking toddler food (dice 9/12 of a carrot into 1mm cubes, blanch 7/9 of a julienned parsnip in no-sodium stock etc) actually I loved it or he got a portion of ours. Made me cook better for us actually

telling your child you can't do something with them because you need to [insert boring chore here] but thats life. They learn that the whole universe doesn't revolve around them. You and their DD clearly have full on jobs and you only eat a few evening meals together a week, go out Saturday nights so surely there's lots of tthins they would like to do with you that the Nanny does any way. Its not like you have help so you can spend every second at their heck and call is it? That's not a suggestion that you should btw

soaking toys in Milton and then hoping for a good drying day eh? Shove them in the washing machine or on an airer. How often do their non-wipeable toys need miltoning????

the barbers / hairdressers I'm letting it grow long haha

I'd love someone to do the washing and cleaning but obviously thats a cleaner / house keeper. And there's obviously stuff I wish I could avoid (hello - I'm awake at 4 am because he doesn't sleep through) but I honestly think that outside of working hours that's what being a parent is about. Not cherry picking the fun bits and sitting elsewhere in the house whilst the Nanny helps them build Lego or leaving a trail of destruction in your wake because you dont do tidying up. I also don't think it teaches the children a brilliant lesson - if they have money then they only have to do the fun things. The paid help with do all the jobs you hate. God help them if they don't have your money in later life

But also we dont need to agree on which bits are fun or necessay. I just dont need your pity. No more than you need pity for having a medically complex daughter or my son needs pity for being on o2. It isn't a misfortune to not your disposable income, its just life

Our jobs are headmistress and hospital consultant / medical lecturer. We don't eat with our children because it's nicer to play with them, school reading book etc from the time we get home until the time they go to bed that telling them that broccoli doesn't taste like shoes.

"I couldn't sit and play with the kids, make a mess then swan out and expect someone to clean up after me."

I can. I see it no different to expecting someone else to do the dishes after you eat in a restaurant.

After school activities: it can mean a later collection time but you're assuming that your multiple children's activities all coincide.

I love cooking as well as grocery shopping but not for children. The recipes I like have salt, cream, butter, wine etc.

It's rare that we don't put our children to bed before going out.

Telling children you can't do something is life but it's nice not to. If they want to go to the swimming pool it's much nicer to say yes rather than, I have to clean the guest room.

I understand that some of this is blurring the lines between house keeper and nanny but house keeping and other chores are much worse with children either because there's more work (laundry etc), because doing them with children is harder or because you'd rather do the fun bits and pay someone else to do the other bits.

I also understand the argument that bring children up with privilege could set them up for a tougher life in the future but it seems pointless to hold things back that could make your life nicer or easier to teach them a lesson. I couldn't do a Ramsey and stick them in cattle class with DH and I flying business.

And I hate to break your bubble but soft play is always horrific. You may not need to be involved when they're a little older but you're still in the noisy germ-fests. Besides which, there's usually several "Hello Mrs ClarkyMcClarkason"s from children or parents wanting to talk to me when I want to read my Kindle or whatever else.

As you rightly pointed out, the universe doesn't revolve around children and it's a poor lesson to teach children it should yet I also seem to have come in for some flack for not doing everything for my children. I don't quite understand the issue.

I'm not a "kiss Mummy goodnight now go to bed with nanny" parent but rather see it as the ultimate childcare when we're at work or when I feel I'd gain little by being with my children (soft play, for example) and much more having a nice child-free hour or two with DH).

Clarke my second post still applies. Like I said, we dont need to agree buy feeling ""pity"" for parents who choose or have to do the lowly bits of parenting you choose or have to pay someone else to do it stretching the how shifty parenting is tbh. And raising your kids with privilege is fine; raising them to look down and ""pity"" people living ordinary lives, less so

And I hate to break your bubble but soft play is always horrific that's just mean. You're meant to lie

I was a nanny for years, here and abroad. I've had parents who truly hate being away from their kids but need to for work, and I looked after one child who could go up to a month without seeing his parents. I had a temp job with 2 children with 3 nannies and a housekeeper, the mum told me they'd never had a full night alone with the kids without staff. They had a flat in the basement with 2 bedrooms for night staff who took the baby down there for the night.

I was once called into work on a weekend to amuse the toddler while the parents shopped- as in I went with them to the small local shop while they shopped. I looked after an almost teen who was privately educated and honestly didn't realise some people might not go to uni or be bought a car as soon as they were old enough.

Wish I'd gotten 100k for nannying I miss it a lot though, I enjoyed all the boring day to day with little ones.

I am now confused. Are insight panel and clarkymcclarkason the same person?

I assume by refectory that insight works in a prep school and clarky uses the term headmistress which implies independent school.

I did wonder...

GoldilocksAndTheThreePears you should apply to do holiday cover haha. Or i need a free night nurse for a gorgeous 2 year old who doesn't sleep

rather see it as the ultimate childcare when we're at work or when I feel I'd gain little by being with my children (soft play, for example) and much more having a nice child-free hour or two with DH) but perhaps THEY would gain something from it. And his welfare comes ahead of mine.