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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To never be alone with the children

121 replies

Theymisheardme · 27/07/2017 08:59

Except for photos...

Beyonce and Jay-Z have 8 nannies.

For 3 children.

Blue Ivy gets 2 each and goes to playschool. The reins get 1 each working 8 hour shifts because they wake at different times.

So there's literally 24/7 cover for the kids. Presumably if on their 100k contracts they decide to have a holiday there are spare nannies on standby or overtime for the others...

I get they want extra help atm. Twins, C Sec etc. But 3 each??

Do they ever just sit and play like a regular family?

It makes you wonder what its like growing up with a small army of nannies on constant rotation and your parents quite happy to just delegate it all

OP posts:
unlimiteddilutingjuice · 27/07/2017 09:33

It's pretty excessive by anyone's standards Grin But they are pop stars.

I was at the Houses of Parliament recently and witnessed a little group of toddlers (I would guess from the parliament nursery) being taken on their morning walk....

Out through the security, past the Houses of Parliament, through all the throngs of tourists and on down Millbank. Grin
It did make me wonder what it must be like to grow up in that world and take it all for granted as normal.

rainbowpie · 27/07/2017 09:35

Grin No Bey, YANBU. I am jealous though.

Perfectly1mperfect · 27/07/2017 09:36

ghostyslovesheets
Grin

MrsJayy · 27/07/2017 09:36

Beyonce and jayz are music performers their lives are not like ours if they are working on tour and all that malarky why not have a fleet of staff I know i would I am sure they spend time with their children

PotOfYoghurt · 27/07/2017 09:37

It's not just celebrities who have 24/7, 365 days a year team of nannies. 'Normal' rich people here do as well. Whether you agree with it or not it certainly isn't just a 'Beyoncé and Jay Z' thing.

lalalalyra · 27/07/2017 09:37

I imagine a lot of rich/famous people have 24 hour staff so they don't have to even think about 'can I do that gig?' or 'who has the kids when I have that meeting?'

I know someone through DH who has 2 nannies and she and her husband have brilliant quality time with their children. They aren't knackered from being up all night or fretting about how to get ChildA to one activity and ChildB being bored. If I ever won the lottery their nanny & housekeeper set up would be something I'd do in a heartbeat.

MrsJayy · 27/07/2017 09:38

Imagine just wafting through life not worrying about cooking cleaning paying bills and they can just be with their Children , me Envy nooo not me

RhubardGin · 27/07/2017 09:39

She spends time with her kids whenever she is free and wants to, but knows she always has back up if she wants some time off.

Why did your friend have children if she only wanted to spend time with them when it suits her?

You can't just decide on what days you can be bothered to be a mum.

She doesn't sound like a fantastic mother to her children, her nannies do.

The mind boggles.

Original poster
Theymisheardme · 27/07/2017 09:40

RealMax thanks, some horrid woman on MN said i was Shock

OP posts:
Original poster
Theymisheardme · 27/07/2017 09:41

I think my kids appreciate the time i spend playing with them and i could do a lot more of that if I wasn't bloody cleaning, cooking etc. Sounds a heavenly set up! in that case surely you want 3 housekeepers on 8 he shifts? Omg I totally would

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MrsJayy · 27/07/2017 09:41

Relative of mine lives abroad 3 children set of twins (no it is not Bey and jayzed) has help her fb tellls me her life is just lovely she swans about with her kids she does the making memories hashtag though that is slightly irritating but still

Original poster
Theymisheardme · 27/07/2017 09:43

She spends time with her kids whenever she is free and wants to that's how I feel about my nieces and nephews not my son. He spends tine with me regardless of whether either of us want to or not haha

OP posts:
AppalachianWalzing · 27/07/2017 09:43

To be fair- you have a concert, from say 7pm to midnight you're at the venue. Sound checks earlier. Early morning breakfast interview one day, awards show another, 3pm meeting with publicist. Their working lives are as far from 9-5 as you can get- so the options are, have a day and night nanny and make them both work 12-hour shifts or build in more fair working hours, which they can obviously afford to do.

There being one for each child doesn't strike me as that insane- again, perhaps one day one has an appointment and the others don't and mummy and daddy are both working. If I had that much money and could arrange for my child to stay home while their sibling was in a dentist waiting room I would.

Lots of people on here pay to keep childcare available when they don't need it. I'm sure a lot of the time they're playing with the kids and the nannies are doing the children's laundry/sorting the playroom/etc.

If I had the money, I would definitely have a fleet of well paid household staff: given their workloads, I actually don't think it's that insane and def don't thing it means they never have 1:1. You sort your childcare building in emergency situations, I hunk they're all set ;)

Whatawaytomakealiving · 27/07/2017 09:47

I wouldn't choose help. I would hate having people around me all of the time. Much prefer to have my own life, in my own house with my children, enjoying life together.

Original poster
Theymisheardme · 27/07/2017 09:50

I know the argument that if she stops working for a second she'll stop being relevant but Tbh with her money I'd just enjoy some time off from work to spend with the small people I love so much. And I know lots of ""very important people"" go back after 3 days and work 14 hours because they cat possibly stop but I just think its really sad.

I remember watching a documentary about nannies of the rich and famous and the older kids admitting they were closer to their nannies than parents. I imagine much like many royal children tbf

OP posts:
RelaxMax · 27/07/2017 09:52

Rhubarb - she had children because she wanted to, she has as much help as she wants because she can afford it, and she's a good mother. Frankly you sound bitchy and judgmental.

RhubardGin · 27/07/2017 09:56

and she's a good mother

Aye, when it fits into her schedule apparently.

I'm being bitchy and judgemental? This whole thread is bitchy and judgemental 😂

notgivingin789 · 27/07/2017 09:58

I've heard, that the reason why Beyoncé has that many nannies for Blu Ivy, is because she doesn't want her daughter to get too attached ( if she just had the one nanny). Having that many nannies, makes it unlikely for the child to get attached.

BitchQueen90 · 27/07/2017 09:59

Presumably you are good friends with them to know this as fact and not just something you've read in a gossip column.

Why are people so concerned with how others choose to live?

toomuchtooold · 27/07/2017 10:04

@KC225
I had prem twins on two hour feeds, I would have sold a kidney for 2 night nannies

OMG yes. Preach it. Mine weren't prem but they were on approx 2h feeds and one was about 40 mins behind the other. Do you remember the horrific tradeoff of hoping for them not to wake hungry at the same time, but also not wake so far apart that you got less than 30 minutes between the end of one feed and the start of the other?

harshbuttrue1980 · 27/07/2017 10:05

A few days ago, a poster on here was given a very hard time for saying that she and her daughter live with her mum, and that the poster only does the fun part of having children, leaving the dressing, bathing and feeding to her mum (the child's granny). Its strange how she was called a bad mum, whereas its fine when its a celebrity.

If you have children, be a parent to them. Fine, go to work, but when you come home you should be having daily quality time with the kids, not just palming them off onto someone else.

RelaxMax · 27/07/2017 10:08

Rhubarb, no this thread is full of people commenting on why this might be a sensible choice for Beyoncé or saying they'd like to have the options. You're the only commenter being bitchy and judgmental.

Having help does not make you a bad mother. Putting your children in childcare so you can work, or go to the gym, or sleep, or whatever else it is you need does not make you a bad mother.

Original poster
Theymisheardme · 27/07/2017 10:09

It isn't about them being bad parents- I'm sure they love the kids and are doing what they think is right but I do think it's sad.

Having that many nannies, makes it unlikely for the child to get attached nonsense. Kids get attached to teachers they have a few hours a day let alone every day for 8 hours. Unless she's changing them 6 monthly so she can't form meaningful attachments and that just cruel

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AVY1 · 27/07/2017 10:10

I once worked for someone who has two nannys for the two children and three nannys so that the dogs had one each too...

If I had the money for it I think I would have one. I guess in their case it is what works for them.

RhubardGin · 27/07/2017 10:12

RelaxMax

I agree, there is nothing wrong with having a nanny, childminder, nursery etc but that's not what you said about your friend.

You said that she has two nannies who do the lions share of the parenting and your friend spends time with her children when she wants so it's not the same thing.

I'm only getting my judgemental bitchy opinion from what you have posted which doesn't sound great and I'm not the only person who has mentioned it.