Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To never be alone with the children

121 replies

Theymisheardme · 27/07/2017 08:59

Except for photos...

Beyonce and Jay-Z have 8 nannies.

For 3 children.

Blue Ivy gets 2 each and goes to playschool. The reins get 1 each working 8 hour shifts because they wake at different times.

So there's literally 24/7 cover for the kids. Presumably if on their 100k contracts they decide to have a holiday there are spare nannies on standby or overtime for the others...

I get they want extra help atm. Twins, C Sec etc. But 3 each??

Do they ever just sit and play like a regular family?

It makes you wonder what its like growing up with a small army of nannies on constant rotation and your parents quite happy to just delegate it all

OP posts:
ragdoll700 · 27/07/2017 10:13

Ooooh if I had the money I'd have loads of staff Nanny's, cleaners, Housekeeper, gardner's. If all those jobs were done I'd be well rested have my own time and would enjoy the time I spend with my children more without thinking about all the crap I have to do.

Wdigin2this · 27/07/2017 10:16

Strange, and rather pointless post!

Lynnm63 · 27/07/2017 10:21

Another here with prem twins and an older toddler. They never slept at the same time and for several weeks I had one prem at home and another in SCBU. I too would have given a kidney for Beyoncé's nanny set up.

notgivingin789 · 27/07/2017 10:27

Well, that was her idea They.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/07/2017 10:46

Having a lot of nannies to prevent attachment is cruel and may lead to attachment issues.

PickingOakum · 27/07/2017 11:08

I think it is quite sad really.

DH's cousins had a nanny throughout their childhood as it's very common in DH's country. She pretty much brought them up in place of their mother and was the primary care giver. When they got into their teen years, of course, the nanny was deemed no longer needed.

The upshot was that the cousins never saw the woman who had been their primary care giver throughout their childhood again (she went back to her home country). And, of course, they were very emotionally and psychologically attached to her. She just disappeared from their lives.

Suffice to say, there were a lot of problems with behaviour after she had gone and the relationship between the mother and her children is pretty dire, even now fifteen years on.

I will say, however, that in DH's culture, nannies are mother substitutes, iyswim, where an actual mother may only see her children for an hour a day if that (a kind of old fashioned British aristocratic set-up) , rather than a more modern western situation where the nanny works with the parents and the parents are more involved in their children's lives on a daily basis (bathing at night, reading a story before bed, doing things at the weekend together etc).

Bobbins43 · 27/07/2017 11:14

I'd love to have two nannies per child. Especially during the holidays.

muchomo · 27/07/2017 11:17

I'm going to be really controversial here Wink and say you do realise this is a rumour right from the daily fail I presume. None of us actually know these people child care arrangements so silly thread in my opinion

muchomo · 27/07/2017 11:18

The few pictures they show if the older child she always seems to be surrounded with family members so Confused

BamburyFuriou3 · 27/07/2017 11:22

I grew up with nannies and a housekeeper and a gardener.
My siblings and I had one nanny each plus a night nanny up to the age of 4, then we all shared one nanny + a different one.

Personally I think it was shit. I have little relationship with my parents, and I think "my" nanny, my primary carer, disappearing when I was 4 with no explanation was fairly traumatic. There were also issues with my mother being jealous of our nanny in some respects but not actually wanting to spend time with us, and not actually knowing diddly squat about us.

So yeah. Dunno.

TheSparrowhawk · 27/07/2017 11:22

'She pretty much brought them up in place of their mother and was the primary care giver'

So I presume the father wasn't around or something? Or is it the case that fathers can opt out of parenting with no judgement at all, but mothers can't?

I've seen plenty of threads on mumsnet where posters have argued that it's absolutely fine for a man to work 12 hour days, never do any night feeds etc while his SAH wife does pretty much everything. How is that any different to this situation? Or is it only men who get to carry on with their careers and ignore their children?

JuicyStrawberry · 27/07/2017 11:23

If I had their kind of money I'd be doing the same! Smile

oblada · 27/07/2017 11:26

If I had loads of money I probably would have a full time cleaner/cook etc but not a nanny no, not outside of my working hours anyway. My kids are hard work but I love spending time with them, good times and bad times. I need to work (and even if I had loads of money I would work, less but I still would as I love my job) so in that respect the kids do need some form of childcare but I wouldn't choose to have more in place than is necessary.. And the thing about having loads so they don't get too attached seem very selfish and cruel..

user1495025590 · 27/07/2017 11:52

The parents do not exactly have 9 to 5 jobs do they, and may need to go away at short notice, stay away longer than expected , and need to make sure they have these times covered. I am sure they do loads of stuff with their kids and can just send the nannies off duty when they want time alone with the kids

deadringer · 27/07/2017 11:54

I think people should do whatever the hell they want, as long as the dc are loved and well cared for. However I personally feel that shit as the night feeds etc are, they do help with the bonding process. As a mum I was the most important person in the world for the first few months of my lo's lives, and that time was very special for me, despite the sleep deprivation. Looking back now many years later I don't remember how tired I was or how chap I felt, I only remember that feeling that me and my baby were the only people in the world as we snuggled up together for a feed in the middle of the night. If I had my time again and lots of money I would definitely pay people to do the cleaning, cooking, washing etc though.

IdentifiesAsYoda · 27/07/2017 11:55

I have never understood quite what is so admirable about Beyonce

IdentifiesAsYoda · 27/07/2017 11:57

It's not justifiable to say she's a good mother, any more than it's justifiable to say she's a bad mother

deadringer · 27/07/2017 11:57

*crap not chap!

crashandburnt · 27/07/2017 11:58

I wish I could afford this. Then I would just do the fun stuff and cuddles with my kids. Instead of the constant clearing up cheerios off the floor running up and down stairs to find clean clothes etc.

IdentifiesAsYoda · 27/07/2017 11:58

One thing we know: she certainly is a mother. No doubt about that. Well done.

Vonklump · 27/07/2017 11:58

£100k.
Hmm. How do I persuade them they need another nanny?

Helendee · 27/07/2017 12:04

They're missing out on such precious times. Why have kids and foster them out for others to bring up?

Zimmerzammerbangbang · 27/07/2017 12:08

I have a nanny who works full time which includes Saturdays. I'm don't officially work Saturdays. That doesn't mean on Saturday I ignore my kids and leave them with the nanny. However, it does mean that I know I have backup to look after my kids if I need to work for some reason.

I'd suspect the same thing is going on here - not sure how the numbers work but there will be that volume to ensure that they don't need to worry about childcare at any point because they don't have 9-5 schedules. They can afford to have several nannies per child (and I suspect that includes security) so they do. If I was in that position and money was no object I would probably do the same.

Despite having had the same nanny since my children were tiny (whole life for youngest) and me working very long hours, there has never been a point at which I felt my children think she's the parent. I live in a nanny culture and I know that this happens from time to time but it is not inevitable at all. I can't answer how it works for Beyoncé (I don't know her!) but it's a leap to make any suggestion just because she has staff.

Amongst rich families here it's the norm to have a nanny per child, sometimes a nanny plus a driver per child.

Ninjakittysmells · 27/07/2017 12:13

There's a little boy in ds class who has 3 nannies - you never ever see the parents at kids parties / sports day etc, but from their instagram posts they seem to have very perfect family life. I always want to give the little one a giant cuddle - he isnt the happiest child in the world.

That all said, I would have given my left arm for a night nanny and some cover during the day when ds was little. I was a single parent and he woke every hour and a half till he was 2. It nearly finished me off and if I hadn't been broke staff would have been number one on my list ahead of food!

tabulahrasa · 27/07/2017 12:27

The thing is, you could potentially spend pretty much all day with a child and still use full time childcare...you just don't do any of the boring bits.

Get up together, eat breakfast together only someone else makes it, then go get dressed and showered while the nanny cleans weetabix out of their hair and dresses them.

Do some craft stuff and again someone else sorts it out afterwards.

Eat lunch together, put them down for a nap and get summoned once they're awake...

Birthday parties, they could buy and wrap presents, you could all go together and you could leave when it gets loud and screechy maybe come back for cake...

I'm thinking it sounds great

Swipe left for the next trending thread