To tell DH he needs to replace this out of his own pocket

[GandolfBold]

DH decided to use our dyson to clean the garage floor, which made the inside filthy. His solution was to try and wash it out (told him it was a bad idea but this was ignored). Dyson now gone to the utility room in the sky.

I have a kilner jar I save my change in, and have been saving for ages for a specific purpose. Tonight DH has said I should take it to the bank and use the money to replace the Dyson.

AIBU to say to him that he needs to replace it out of his own pocket? He can afford to, and he is the reason why its broken.

I don't understand why anyone buys a Dyson!!!

Maybe couples have "pocket money" as a way of budgeting - i.e. you know how much is spent on "luxuries". Or maybe when one person feels the other spends too much on themselves and this winds them up so they do it to keep each other in check? I can kind of see this.
But surely if you're married with kids it's all family money in the end?

It is very common on "how we arrange our finances" threads for couples to say they have a joint account for joint stuff, and then a certain amount monthly in individual accounts. If I want more expensive make up than usual, or dh wants to update his phone, or I want to eat my own body weight in chocolate, these things come from personal accounts.

Have you thought about getting it repaired by Dyson? They come to your home to do the repair. I used them once and was really impressed by them!

Have you chucked it yet? Spares for dysons are easily available on eBay and with a good clean out they work ok again.

My daughters had been used in cleaning up when boarding her loft and sucking up old brick dust/soot/sand. The filters are now clogged but their a good clean, and letting it all dry, it'll be fine again.

The one at my Church is continually getting blocked because the users vacuum a leaf covered mat. Every now and then I give it a good clean out and it's fine again.

Not the best garage vacuum though - try a Henry.

Notknown Calling it "pocket money" started as a joke when DH was waiting for a replacement debit card and asked me, Oliver Twist style, if he could please have his pocket money and it just stuck. Its the money that we both have that we take out of the joint account for our own use.

But you knew that, didnt you?

Dysons are fairly easy to take apart and clean. You can Google instructions for most models. Not sure why you would have thought it was a bad idea.

If it was the cleaning that broke it, he's done it in a very careless way. I'm another who doesn't really get my money/his money, as though we have both separate and joint accounts, we both have access to all of the money.

However he should be the one to do the legwork of researching the best place to get a replacement and then ordering it.

Just a thought, get him to look for just a replacement part, may be cheaper than a whole new vacuum. Again Google trouble shooting guide to ascertain which bit needs replacing, then try and source that part. Obv he needs to do this, not you.

Don't throw the Dyson away. Leave it dismantled and let it dry for another couple of days. I washed mine a couple of years ago and once dried fully, it came back to life. At worst, use it when one of those exchange offers are on.

If you didn't expressly say that washing it would mean death, I would treat as an accident. I'd take the money from the common pot, if any.

I'm not going to weigh in on this separate/joint finance debate but I think in this circumstance he should replace it!

Dyson offer a repair service for a flat fee, so do that rather than replacing it. And yes, he should pay otherwise you're funding his mistake!!

Does it matter who pays? Surely it's all family income? You are in it for the long haul right?

I don't get why married couples have separate finances

Every. Fucking. Time.

Me neither. It is a vacuum cleaner, it belongs to the occupants of the house, it is for everyone to use and if it breaks/gets broken, a new one is purchased. Jars and separate finances in a marriage is weird.

Maybe I'm just not as OCD as some people but why was he hovering a dirty garage?? Why not sweep it and bin the swept stuff?! 🤔🤔

I would say he has two choices option A: you break it you buy it. So he replaces it. Or option B: it is a household expense therefore you pay for it from your joint account and both put the extra in there.

I don't get his logic. If you drive his car into a wall does that mean he pays because he uses the car?

Don't replace it, and don't clean the house. Perfect opoportunity, perfect excuse.

I don't think YABU. I also don't see the issue of having separate finances. We have a joint account that gets used for all joint purchases/household bills but our own accounts for our own spending too.

Tell him it won't cost him much to replace as he obviously lives in the 1950's! 😞

I'd be very pissed off at savings jar comment and I would be sending him to buy a new one but we don't have separate finances so it wouldn't have the same effect!

With separate finances I'd say it comes either from joint (because he didn't mean to break it) or his money (because he was obviously careless and because saying you should solely buy it was bloody rude and annoying!!)

Ekkkk people are really against separate accounts... I'm just lazy and haven't joined ours together 🤣 also it is nice being able to buy presents and they don't know how much or what you have got sometimes 😉

Concerning Op and the jar - nope it shouldn't come out of that. You have been saving that jar slowly and you won't get your treat/thing that you are saving for because he was an idiot... Nope either joint or he pays as a sorry. His mistake shouldn't cost you.

Nah make him buy it. I don't like all this judgement on MN about "it's all family money" you know nothing about this families finances. She may well be able to afford a dyson but there's sod all reason why she should have to buy one in this instance.

If you have your own separate accounts (except for bills), how on earth do you decide who pays for anything, let alone a Dyson? Who buys the furniture? Who buys the bin bags? How do you keep track of anything?

It's not a big thing for most people who don't have joint accounts just my house we spilt the cost for "big" things (read expensive) and little things like bin bags are just paid for by whoever thinks to go and get them first. To me it's such a non issue I cant understand why people are shocked. I don't think I'd like to not have my bank account, it's a security. Against what I'm not aure but all families and households have different financial make ups

DH and I have never shared an account. He's the higher earner and i'm part time SAHM /shift worker, so he pays most of the bills and I buy the food/bin bags (lol) etc and holidays/savings, plus the odd bill like TV licence. It's not been an issue yet. If anything we're not counting out who paid how many pennies towards this or that, which to me seems odd to hear couples paying precisely 50% of each bill regardless of income. If one of us needed or wanted something and the other didn't have the cash, we'd give the other the money. I enjoy being able to buy gifts without it even being noticed that the money is gone. We all do things differently I guess.

How did he break it washing it out? My DH cleans ours out and dries the different bits and bobs thoroughly before putting back together.....so not only is he BU by vacuuming the dirty garage with your 'home' vacuum and asking you to buy another.....he doesn't know how to look after a simple home appliance. LTB.......(ok just kidding on that one!)

Just to clarify the man is a mechanic so it comes naturally to him to take things apart.....I just can't be bothered (and I am the one that is particular with the skirting boards that he doesn't see)