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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have no idea why this upset this woman, dance school related.

82 replies

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/07/2017 13:23

I was talking to a couple of mums yesterday. One with a dd in a dance/drama type school that I decided not to send my dd to as she's really into ballet not the drama. Moreover dd already knows a lot of children in the dance school. Her dd has been at the other school for years and the mother seems heavily committed to it. I talked lots to this mum as she has a wealth of experience before I decided on which school and although I didn't tell her, the one I chose also suits me better due to chronic illness/ mobility issues of which she isn't aware.

The other mum is a friend and my dd up til now has been going to the same local dance school. So I've just signed my dd up to a very good local dance school renowned for good ballet. Both schools have a stunning reputation so the choice was also based on which classes were available to her on a Saturday and this one came up trumps. The owner of school itself when I said I had also considered the other school confirmed it is also an excellent school. So no competition as far as I'm aware.

My friend was asking me about the school. The question she asked was "is x school (the one dd is going to) old school". To which I replied "I think so." The other mother hit the roof, "You can't say things like that, it upsets people bla blah blah". And I said, well it's more about the ballet for dd and not about the drama so I've chosen based on what my dd wants. She continued to rant about how I upset people saying stuff like that.

Any dancers out there. What did I say wrong? I have put myself through professional acting btw so I just don't get it. It's normal to talk about one school without denigrating the other, isn't it?

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 25/07/2017 13:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhataHexIgotinto · 25/07/2017 13:27

I'm sorry, I'm being thick but I don't understand. What exactly did you say that she hit the roof about?

araiwa · 25/07/2017 13:28

I have no idea and even less having read the op

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/07/2017 13:28

Is the school your dd is going to 'old school'?. As in traditional.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 25/07/2017 13:30

She hit the roof about me saying "I think so". As in I think maybe the dance school I signed dd up to is old school.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 25/07/2017 13:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Namechangetempissue · 25/07/2017 13:30

I don't really get it op -what do you mean old school? That line doesn't make sense?

Namechangetempissue · 25/07/2017 13:31

Not a clue then, sorry. Sounds innocent enough to me.

Imfinehowareyou · 25/07/2017 13:32

You said nothing wrong. She either has an alternative understanding of what 'old school' means or is just weird.

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/07/2017 13:32

As in:

Friend: "Do you think your dds new dance school is old school?"
Me: "I think so"
Other woman: "You can't say things like that......." angry tone etc

OP posts:
Namechangetempissue · 25/07/2017 13:33

Maybe she doesn't understand what old school means

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/07/2017 13:33

Euphemia

That made me laugh. Dd deffo isn't primadonna. She plays rugby. I think you summed up the rant though.

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wizzywig · 25/07/2017 13:34

She might have thought you implied old school = old fashioned/ traditional, ie, doesnt have all flashy up to date equipment.

LindyHemming · 25/07/2017 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/07/2017 13:36

Namechange

Ahhhh. Yes. Sorry I didn't think of that. But wtf would she think it meant? Bloody obvs to me. Maybe I'm just a bit too mc. Blush But she's paying for 20+ hours a week for her dd that's costing a pretty penny so she must be in a well paid job so I'm surprised.

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Mummyoflittledragon · 25/07/2017 13:39

Euphemia

Perhaps. But if they both take the same exams, RAD aren't going to say "ah well, this child is from a new-fangled dance school, let's give her the grade anyway". The children have to work to get the grades and the school has to teach well, innit?

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Mummyoflittledragon · 25/07/2017 13:40

wizzy

Both schools are stunning with several rooms, a nice cafe and purpose sprung floors. A lot different from the local village school up til now.

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user1498911589 · 25/07/2017 13:49

Old school as in traditional ballet not modern ballet?

Horses for courses, it's your choice not her choice.

lanouvelleheloise · 25/07/2017 13:50

I really don't understand this thread at all. It sounds like there has been a misunderstanding/miscommunication of some kind.

supersop60 · 25/07/2017 13:51

'Old school' isn't an insult.
YANBU. Good luck to your dd in her ballet.
(my dd, aged 4, was removed from her ballet class for not conforming!)

Aeroflotgirl · 25/07/2017 13:51

God some people get worked up over nothing. You said nothing wrong, what's her problem?

Jaxhog · 25/07/2017 13:53

Erm, she used the term 'old school' not you. In any case, I've no idea why that would be offensive.

user1497480444 · 25/07/2017 13:57

I think you both ponder these things far too much.... who cares who goes to which ballet school Hmm

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/07/2017 14:01

User.

I don't have the answer to if its traditional but not modern and tbh I don't care either way. I just want my dd to love her hobby and be with kids she knows as both things are really important to her.

Jax

It was my friend, not woman, who ranted.

supersop

Thanks for the well wishes.... maybe take your dd back later or elsewhere. The expensive schools (where dd is now going) I imagine are less tolerant. The one where dd went, some of the little kids didn't do the routine at all and all was fine.

Aeroflot

I do agree she got worked up over nothing. I just wanted some opinions because I was flabbergasted. Had a bit too much family battering right now (just gone NC with brother), so it really hurt when it shouldn't have.

Thanks all. Flowers

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 25/07/2017 14:02

User...444

Fine with the Hmm for her. Not for me. As I say, I want dd to be happy, not a prima ballerina.

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