To have no idea why this upset this woman, dance school related.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

I was talking to a couple of mums yesterday. One with a dd in a dance/drama type school that I decided not to send my dd to as she's really into ballet not the drama. Moreover dd already knows a lot of children in the dance school. Her dd has been at the other school for years and the mother seems heavily committed to it. I talked lots to this mum as she has a wealth of experience before I decided on which school and although I didn't tell her, the one I chose also suits me better due to chronic illness/ mobility issues of which she isn't aware.

The other mum is a friend and my dd up til now has been going to the same local dance school. So I've just signed my dd up to a very good local dance school renowned for good ballet. Both schools have a stunning reputation so the choice was also based on which classes were available to her on a Saturday and this one came up trumps. The owner of school itself when I said I had also considered the other school confirmed it is also an excellent school. So no competition as far as I'm aware.

My friend was asking me about the school. The question she asked was "is x school (the one dd is going to) old school". To which I replied "I think so." The other mother hit the roof, "You can't say things like that, it upsets people bla blah blah". And I said, well it's more about the ballet for dd and not about the drama so I've chosen based on what my dd wants. She continued to rant about how I upset people saying stuff like that.

Any dancers out there. What did I say wrong? I have put myself through professional acting btw so I just don't get it. It's normal to talk about one school without denigrating the other, isn't it?

I should have added, her dds school has been around less time but well established. Maybe I should have given my dd a sex change and sent her to Eton!!

Well my DD goes to a "ballet school " in a scout hut on a Saturday morning. No barre so they use chairs. The 2 teachers are awesome - think peroxide cropped hair / pink hair , tattoos and gold sparkly ballet shoes. Students can wear what they like really so my DD5 likes to pop on
her Black Swan ensemble. She has a great time and that's good enough for me right now.

Mummyoflittledragon, Don't feel bad and you don't have to defend your decision to the other Mum. Shrug it off for the complete nonsense that it is. xxx She has no reason to tell you off. You are doing your very best for Little Dragon and all this jostling for pole position is coming from Other Mum. She needs to chill. School days flash by - no one will care about the perceived finer points of who went where and did what, all that is important is that Little Dragon is happy and occupied - ( she sounds lovely by the way) if that happens to be at a place that is good at what it does - well why not?

I dont really understand sorry. What I do want to say is if your friend asked a question and reacted strange. It reminds me of kids who ask a question and then mocked the child for what they say. Is this friend jealous in some way and trying to make you out the bad one for some reason. I hope what I'm saying makes sense.

Spirited
My dd was at the same sort of school til a couple of weeks ago (village hall). She is so adamant she wants to go en pointe that I decided to change schools as her one doesn't offer that or exams. I'm just trying to fill my little girl's heart with joy where I can. Your dds school sounds fab.

Duckbilled
Thanks. I found all the playground gossip too much as well tbh. We have had our little dog a couple of years and I couldn't leave him because he absolutely screams the place down if I leave him alone. He saved my bacon. Thanks for your lovely message.

Queenie
It was other mum, not my friend, who got angry. My friend asked the question. But I get the point about the childishness of the response.

There can be a weird kind of intensity among some parents about their kids hobbies. Its not limited to dance by any means. One friend of mine gets her knickers in a twist about her sons under 10s football team ( and the intrigues of who's chosen, who's player of the match etc etc), a colleague who displays her great expertise in gymnastics because her daughter goes to a particular club and is ignorant of the fact that another colleagues son competes at a national level ( but doesn't go on about it). What's that all about? I swerved one baby ballet when my daughter was 2 because the kids all wore full on pink tutu ensembles and I've avoided another school nearby because they require a different uniform for each discipline. Surely it's about the dance and not about the clothes ( there's time for all that later). I don't know what's wrong with this lady OP but some people get very defensive about things for some reason that I will never understand.

Tutus for twos. That must make loo breaks interesting.... dd can wear what she wants, which I like i.e. Unitard, leotard with or without tights, leggings and/or shorts of any colour apart from in ballet where she must wear a light pink leotard, got one in the sale for £5. That pleased dd and will get an exam one nearer the time. I also struggle to understand football parent bust ups, dance moms the programme (dd has watched a few episodes) etc. I hope I never sound boastful about dd, I have told friends she does loads of stuff and whaf she does, but don't go on about it. What would be the point? Everyone is good at something. Boasting or going on about something really gets my goat. Rather like the parents of the national level gymnast in your post, you quietly get on with things.