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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children apparently alone?

117 replies

iloveanicecake · 22/07/2017 22:23

Today I saw 2 young children up on the 1st floor of their flat (above a shop) opening full-sized outward-opening windows.

I was driving past slowly (parade of shops with a roundabout) and was concerned so went back. I hoped the windows had safety catches to prevent them opening too far, but was deeply worried. I parked and went back and rang doorbell, fully aware parents might not appreciate my interference but if there was an accident I'd have not forgiven myself.

Well, the 2 little girls answered the door, alone. I stood talking to them for 5 minutes. They claimed parents were home, upstairs, but they never appeared. The girls were 4 & 6. Lovely friendly girls who even came outside of flat whilst we talked (not my request and I encouraged them back inside). I was asking them where parents were "upstairs", are they sleeping "no, they are talking", if they go to school "yes", if they'd had breakfast "no, we don't usually have breakfast", but said they'd had lunch - it was 5.30pm. I eventually went home, reluctantly, and within 5-10 minutes of leaving girls I called the police (on 101).
Was I BU to be concerned and call police?
The 101 call handler put it through on a high alert for a welfare visit from an officer. I returned a few minutes later to see if girls ok and saw police car outside and interestingly a man sitting in same window as the girls had been in. (Not policeman in uniform, so presumably the dad.)
I hope all is ok. Was I overreacting to call police?

OP posts:
otterlieriver · 22/07/2017 22:24

I don't think you should have quizzed them like that tbh. Ringing the police was sensible.

AndNowItIsSeven · 22/07/2017 22:27

Why was the man interesting , presumably it was the dad that had been upstairs all along.
You should not have asked the girls questions.

WorraLiberty · 22/07/2017 22:29

Was I BU to be concerned and call police?

The 101 call handler put it through on a high alert for a welfare visit from an officer.

Does that ^^ not answer your question? Confused

Original poster
iloveanicecake · 22/07/2017 22:30

I wasn't quizzing. Just making conversation for 5 minutes with unknown little children until parents came to door. Unfortunately they didn't appear despite ringing bell twice.

OP posts:
StillDrivingMeBonkers · 22/07/2017 22:30

The parents may not speak English.

I see your line of questioning however it's not your place to start an interrogation.

WorraLiberty · 22/07/2017 22:31

How was asking a couple of kids at 5.30pm, 'just making conversation'?

Of course you were quizzing.

otterlieriver · 22/07/2017 22:32

Well, you were quizzing them a bit - asking them about breakfast and lunch and if they went to school isn't casual conversation.

WorraLiberty · 22/07/2017 22:32

Sorry, how was asking if they had breakfast when it was 5.30pm 'just making conversation'?

llangennith · 22/07/2017 22:33

You did the right thing.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 22/07/2017 22:35

You did exactly the right thing.

I don't understand the people who think you (not specifically 'you') shouldn't talk to children. Bloody madness. They're smaller humans not snowflakes that melt if spoken to ffs.

I hope the parents (?) at least do something about those windows & the fact that a stranger was in a position to have the front door opened by the children and talk to them for a good 5 minutes unnoticed. Worrying.

Witchend · 22/07/2017 22:36

What was the point in those questions?
Surely you'd say "is you mum/dad in?" then when they said "yes" say "can you get them for me please?"
And then let them know about the windows.

Quizzing them on whether they go to school, had had breakfast/lunch (ds will quite happily tell you he hasn't had dinner at times and I have to say-don't you remember the toad in the hole with baked beans followed by steam sponge and custard? To which he'll say "oh yes, I suppose that was dinner!") when you are just a random member of the public (ie not sent round to do a welfare check) actually sounds quite creepy.

Della1 · 22/07/2017 22:36

You were worried so did what you thought was best. Ringing the bell to speak to the parents and alert them to the accident waiting to happen was the right thing to do. They didn't come to the door so you went with your gut instinct and called the police. You did the right thing- don't worry!

SSYMONDS · 22/07/2017 22:37

Well done. We all need to look out for other people's children. It's part of being in a civilised society. If it was my kids I'd be glad someone cared enough to check.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 22/07/2017 22:37

Did you find who the "interesting" man was?

otterlieriver · 22/07/2017 22:39

I think it will have potentially been embarrassing and upsetting for the girls to be grilled like that (and I am aware OP that they seem embarrassed or upset but that doesn't mean they weren't) but more to the point they weren't your questions to ask. Once you weren't confident adults were there then ring the police.

I'm trying to think just how annoyed I'd be if someone quizzed my DD on whether she ate and whether she attended school.

Mulch · 22/07/2017 22:39

You did the right thing op. Bystander affect people just leave it to others and awful things happen.

sonjadog · 22/07/2017 22:40

Why didn´t you just ask them to go get their parents?

chitofftheshovel · 22/07/2017 22:40

So you saw two children opening a window, you don't know if it had a safety catch on it, and still don't.

But you didn't go back and observe if the window had a catch on it you decided to go and interrogate them instead. I, personally, find that odd.

KeyChange · 22/07/2017 22:42

You absolutely did the right thing.

Della1 · 22/07/2017 22:44

If two young children are able to open a window and answer the door on their own, that's a massive worry. You did the right thing. You only questioned them because you were concerned for their welfare (see above). This isn't an aibu. You definitely weren't!

Flopjustwantscoffee · 22/07/2017 22:44

"So you saw two children opening a window, you don't know if it had a safety catch on it, and still don't.

But you didn't go back and observe if the window had a catch on it you decided to go and interrogate them instead. I, personally, find that odd."

Well to be fair, if that was my kid dicking about with an upstairs window whilst I was downstairs for example I would much prefer a passer by to ring the doorbell to check with me than hang around watching to see if the window opened wide enough for him to fall out of.

ImNotReallyReal · 22/07/2017 22:45

NDN let out house on AirBnB for 3 months. Four year old girl was locked outside on first floor balcony alone, slamming on single plate glass widows to get beck inside.

I talked to her, said I'd get mummy, knocked and told them, only to be met with a barrage of abuse and called a lunatic bitch (had my phone on record at the time). They said they didn't realise the child was locked out, people four doors down (grown men) could hear her screaming? I was the only one to dare knock.

I called 101 and NSPCC, they got a visit and did a flit. I wonder what happened to the children. If your gut says something isn't right report it. Worst that can happen is you made a mistake. My concerns were taken seriously. But now I wonder now what happened to those children. Maybe I made it worse?

YANBU.

mogulfield · 22/07/2017 22:47

You did the right thing.

otterlieriver · 22/07/2017 22:48

No, you did the right thing ImNot, as did op in ringing the police. I just don't think the Spanish Inquisition was appropriate.

bigsighall · 22/07/2017 22:49

You did the right thing. If all ok, then great, no harm done. If something concerning then you did good looking out for others in society.

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