what age would you let your DC do the following things?

[deliverdaniel]

Trying to work out if IABU

What age would you let your DCs do the following (FWIW mine have no special needs/ unusual circumstances etc)

1. Go to the small park at the end of your own road to play alone or with a friend (safe area, no roads to cross, about 100 feet from the house round one corner)

2. Go to the local shop without an adult (4 min walk with one main road to cross with a pedestrian/ traffic light crossing and no other roads to cross)

3)Walk to school alone or with a friend- 15 minute walk, several side roads to cross but no main road.

All in a safe, quiet-ish suburban area

Thank you!

And when I was a kid ....

6
6
8

I used to commute in public transport with my 6 year old sibling !

8.5 to 9 for the first two. 11 ish for the third.

The world is no more dangerous for children now than it was 20+ years ago. In fact, it's likely safer now than it was then.

As for when I'd let my children do those things, it would depend on the individual child. But probably younger than the majority on here.

In the South East I would say I never, ever see 8 year olds alone TBH.

I live in the SE and here year 4 (age 8-9) go to school on their own. Lots of the kids play out on their own at younger ages too.

1. 8

2. 11

3. 11

these responses are so fascinating=- thanks so much everyone. I definitely agree, that it hleps a lot when it is part of the culture to give kids responsibility.

We did actually once let our 6.5 old run to the park on his own and back (100 feet from our house) to prove he could do it (not to stay and we were watching from the front door.) A woman actually marched him home saying that his parents couldn't possibly have allowed him, and he must have been being naughty!

5 for the park
7 for the shop
7 for walking to school with a friend, maybe 8 if alone and it's a quiet route (people wise), 7 if lots of parents / school kids around.

1. with a friend 8 (if sensible). Without a friend 9

2. 10 kids have little toad sense before 10

3. 10

8, 9, 9

ds has been crossing roads alone but supervised from 8. he has been allowed out in the shared garden, not fully visible from the flat since 7ish. neighbours can see most of it though. (between them)

Wow, this thread has been an eye opener! Can't quite get my head around 5/6 year olds being home alone and 4 year olds going to the park on their own...

I would probably say 9 or 10ish

Answers are different for my two kids because their capabilities are so different. Am assuming the hypothetical friend is the same age as my child and averagely competent.

dc1: alone age 8, with friend age 6
dc2: alone not yet (now aged 11), with friend age 9

dc1: age 5
dc2: not yet (i.e. over 11)

dc1: alone age 6, with friend age 9. (Not a typo: she was sensible crossing roads alone but distractible when with friends!)
dc2: alone not yet (i.e. over 11), with friend age 8

My dd is 10 and started doing these things. She went to the park at a younger age as no roads and literally the end of the road.
My main fear is roads. Both shops local to us have crossings but the shop near my sisters has no crossing and is 40 speed limit (cars usually go much faster) so I don't like her going to that.
I leave her in the house too while I walk the dog (only 20 mins or so). Dh won't but she doesn't always want to come. She has a phone and I am close by

11/12 here (in the US near a major city) for the local shop; the DCs had to cross a street using traffic lights to get to the closest and it was in a neighbourhood with a very different feel from our own.

For school and park, 8/9 - their walk took them through intersections that had American '4 way stops' and 2-way stop signs to cross (thus depending on drivers' vigilance) to get to school and to the park and public swimming pool. There were lollipop ladies at two crossing points on the way to and from school. They also rose their bikes around quite a bit from 8 on, including to and from school.

DD2 very memorably let herself out one day, unbeknownst to me, when she was 3, and skipped off to the park to wait for DS (5) and DD1 (8) who were to walk home from school together just after 3pm. I still get palpitations thinking about it and she is 22 now.

DD2 babysat throughout her teen years including daytime for a local family while the parents worked. She took the children all over the place when she was 12/13 and up, and the children were 4-6 and up.

My main fear was traffic, though one summer a registered sex offender moved in with a much older man who lived a few doors down - he eventually had to leave after the neigbours campaigned for a while and the police pulled the finger out and found an illegally operated daycare within the prohibited 500 feet of the offender's address. 500 feet is nothing. The offender used to sit in his front window watching small children and their parents walking home from the nearby local pool, dressed in swimsuits.

On the walking to/from school alone thing in Germany: my experience is that, while it is still held up as the ideal (signs/banners appear everywhere in August reminding drivers to be careful of school starters just starting to walk by themselves), most of my dc's peers didn't actually do it that young. Most were doing it by year 2/3 (so aged roughly 7 or 8), and I was quite unusual with dc1 in waiting until end of year 3/year 4. Dc1 started secondary aged 10 and while he obviously came back by himself, I didn't let him go there by himself in the mornings (very early start so often still dark) despite easy walking distance because the traffic around that school was terrible and the situation chaotic and IMO dangerous.

1. I would let my 7 year old. I would let my 5 year old with her older sibs but not alone.

1. 9 or 10

1. 10 or 11.