what age would you let your DC do the following things?

[deliverdaniel]

Trying to work out if IABU

What age would you let your DCs do the following (FWIW mine have no special needs/ unusual circumstances etc)

1. Go to the small park at the end of your own road to play alone or with a friend (safe area, no roads to cross, about 100 feet from the house round one corner)

2. Go to the local shop without an adult (4 min walk with one main road to cross with a pedestrian/ traffic light crossing and no other roads to cross)

3)Walk to school alone or with a friend- 15 minute walk, several side roads to cross but no main road.

All in a safe, quiet-ish suburban area

Thank you!

To be honest, the main problem I am worried about isn't cars, potential abductions, but it's the other children.

I live in a "nice" area. Most children aren't out on their own until year 6, but there are real problem in the park, and by the local shops, with alcohol and drugs (cannabis, but also crack). The older teenagers get their younger siblings to take it on their bikes.

There are fights etc, as a result.

So, most of us don't let the younger ones out until they are old enough to avoid trouble, and even then, they won't choose to go to the park.

Seriously, lovely area, "beyond outstanding" secondary, parents are loaded, children get bored...

DD1, 4 for number 1, 10 for numbers 2 and 3.

DD2, 8 for number 1, 11 for numbers 2 and three.

DS, 7 for number 1, 10 for numbers 2 and 3.

Different ages for each child due to levels of maturity.

About 9, but it depends on the child. All 3 of mine were allowed out on their bikes, to the park, to the shop, to school at that age.

But they weren't just allowed to hang about at the park on their own, for example. They could go and call on a friend, then go to the shop/park. If their friends couldn't come out, then they had to come straight back home.

1. Age 7 - though we can hear the children in the park as it's two doors away.

1. 11 ish depending on the child.

1. High School age.

About 8/9 I guess

You have to give freedom gradually

How can you expect an 11 year old to get themselves to and from school if they've never so much as walked to the end of their street on their own?

I get that in big cities it's harder and children are probably older before you let them out alone. But in a quiet residential area, it can and should be done gradually not all at once when they go to secondary school

Mine both have ASD, but have differing abilities so I'll answer for each of them.

1) Go to the small park at the end of your own road to play alone or with a friend (safe area, no roads to cross, about 100 feet from the house round one corner)

DDC (9) has been doing this since 8. DC (12) not yet.

2) Go to the local shop without an adult (4 min walk with one main road to cross with a pedestrian/ traffic light crossing and no other roads to cross)

DC2 (9) yes. DC1 (12) on very rare occasion.

3)Walk to school alone or with a friend- 15 minute walk, several side roads to cross but no main road.

We live very near the school so don't need to. Our equivalent distance would be walking into town, which neither of them are doing at this age. I think it will come for DC2 first.

mine did the shop from about 7. same with the park. dd has been walking herself to and from school since y4, so she was 8.

8, I should think. A bit younger for some depending on the child.

Fruitcorner (are you sure you wouldn't rather be fruitcider? Why does my autocorrect keep re-naming you?) Surely your 6 yo would understand green man crossings if you taught him, or if it were taught properly (with practice sessions) at school.

The community police come into Kindergarten here and teach all the children in the last year (5-6 year olds) how to cross roads. They spend an entire morning crossing and recrossing at a green man crossing, and the side roads, and walking along the pavement, under police supervision.

Obviously you are expected to have been leading by example all your child's life and to continue to practice with them after the training session.

It's very sweet - all 6 year olds use an arm signal to indicate that they have judged it safe and ate about to cross a road (they do stop doing that by 7ish :o )

You don't get the silly teen/ pre teen behaviour by roads here that you see in the UK (when I was a teacher I twice stopped my car in the middle of the road and got out to year strips off teens who had stepped out without looking at all). I think giving children responsibility at an age where they want to be responsible and do things right and take road safety lessons from a police officer very seriously instead of as reckless, hormone charged, pack oriented, peer pressure influenced pre teens has a lot to be said for it.

It would be crossing roads that worries me most, even with a 'green man' crossing. I was attempting to teach a group of kids aged 8-10 about road safety, and that even when the green man appears, you must check that cars have stopped before you cross. One 9 year old just kept forgetting to check for cars, and would attempt to cross as soon as the green man appeared. No matter how many times I explained, he would forget.

So it would very much depend on the child

For NT children ,

1. 7/8 (year 3) but only if other children in park
2. 8/9 (year 4)
3. school says year 5

Not on your list but a short bus ride in year 6 helps them get ready for secondary school

12

Mine did all about age 9 here. They had to gain some independence before going to secondary on the (public) bus service.

I'm on 10 for all three.

Sorry Fruit as well as trying to rename you I also misread your post - please ignore me!

Ages 9 - 10 here.

I be more wary of the crossing roads thing as I live in a suburb in the US and crossing roads just doesn't come up much. We either walk across parking lots, or have light controlled pedestrian crossings.

I think people nowadays are more aware of abduction dangers, there is more traffic on the roads, people don't know their neighbors as well, people have more cars. My mother told me that when she spent her teen years in a small village in Sussex in the late 40's 'We knew who the weirdees were, and hardly anyone had a car. It's hard to carry someone off on foot or by bicycle'.

drinking tea yeah I said he WOULD be able to understand to wait for green man. We use crossings together though he's never had cause to use one on his own. He's nearly 7 and fairly sensible and good at following instructions.

6/7
8/9
10.

All depending on the child. I think 11 is too late in these situations.

Around 8/9

budgie I do volunteer safety patrol by the crossing outside our primary school once per week and every child manages the green man crossing - 6 year olds to 11 year olds. I've never seen a child try to cross when cars are moving. The kids who cycle can be more hair raising, and the few parents who drop kids off in a desperate very important hurry are a menace, but I've never seen a 6 year old who couldn't use the green man crossing properly.

It's not about whether the child can navigate the situations described. It's about how they deal with unexpected or adverse situations whilst out. I do think that generally if you let a young child do the above, you are just abdicating responsibility for their safety to the general public. Plus exposing the public to their behaviour. Now generally the public are good and kind so it doesn't matter. But twice I've had to stop my car dead to avoid hitting an unaccompanied child(ren). Bunch of boys 9/10 ish crossing road without looking, child 8/9yo cycling on wrong side of road. Bet those parents all think their kids are really "independent".

Plus, children out alone will find something to play with. Maybe they'll buy food and throw it about, maybe they will mess with things in front gardens. Maybe worse. Seen it all and don't allow my primary aged dc out.

7\8 w london so all very close.

10 or 11 last year of primary school sort if age.

Flower we recently moved and do have a really big garden now which is fab! I feel very lucky.

eleven it takes a village yes. I do volunteer duty outside our school where 95% of kids walk alone (and many stop at the village shop on the way - village shop keeps a spare key to the school which I collect to unlock and wouldn't survive without the kids' custom). Most kids are decent. Most people look out for them.

Keeping your kids locked up doesn't teach them anything except that the world is scary and they aren't trusted.